|Reviews for Mass Effect: Freelancers|
| XRaiderV1 chapter 27 . 6/24
when it rains it pours...I cant wait to see whats next.
| fhr chapter 27 . 6/23
I was worried there for a while. I always hated Xen :) Thanks for the chapter.
| XRaiderV1 chapter 26 . 6/23
hoo boy..stink has hit the fan hasnt it...well done.
| fhr chapter 26 . 6/23
* FHR celebrates
Woow, it was sooo long :)
| PyroSolracIII chapter 26 . 6/22
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, "Well that escalated quickly."
| leosmith1331 chapter 25 . 4/1
Oh thank God i thought u were DEAD!. Dont scear us like that again. Ok
| XRaiderV1 chapter 24 . 12/18/2014
well done man..very well done.
| fhr chapter 23 . 9/27/2014
Great story :)
You should continue, you have great writing skill.
| Lazurman chapter 22 . 5/20/2014
...Even with hard evidence, the Council is /STILL/ skeptical?! That's it, fuck it, I'm now considering the fanon speculation that the Citadel is an Indoctrination station as canon, 'cuz there is NO excuse for this blatant idiocy.
Also, Garrus is so GARrus, all the chicks want him.
| The duke chapter 21 . 4/4/2014
This story is pretty good but it also pretty bad. When reading a story theres a sort of imaginative setting that allows a person to better visualize its events as they read. However, as good as your story is, all the huggy huggy cross species with the tidal wave of sexual innuendos pretty made me say, "yep, this is a fanfiction."
In my opinion it makes your story feel so... fake and i honestly hope you dont post anymore.
| XRaiderV1 chapter 21 . 3/27/2014
soo worth the wait..well done!
| Lazurman chapter 21 . 3/27/2014
The Battletits comment had me in physical pain. And the fight? /Brilliant./
| SirMandokarla chapter 8 . 3/17/2014
I take back most of the various characterization and anachronism criticization from earlier. I obviously hadn't figured out the point of this fanfiction yet. That said, as far as the intention goes, well done on this one.
| SirMandokarla chapter 4 . 3/14/2014
Just finished chapter 4. So... you've got an interesting concept going on here. Your writing is solid, grammar is excellent, spelling seems perfect so far, pacing is well done in most regards.
There being, of course, a but: you seem to think of every alien as essentially human, and it's kind of disconcerting. The slang is too human, though you've managed to at least explain Chula's remarkable vocabulary with her obsession with human martial arts. However, Quarians are visibly less stocky and durable as a species than humans. Wouldn't an Asari martial art or Hapkido be more suited to hands so fragile-looking than something obviously reminiscent of karate, a martial art very oriented on direct application of force using the hands?
On the opposite end of the spectrum, rapid-fire punches from a krogan seem out of place.
As far as a pacing problem, you dived into the sexual tension between the krogan and the human almost before establishing their characters, then began to resolve the problem almost immediately. In a 20 chapter story, it would have felt less rushed to allow a buildup, with a conclusion coming around the 15-18 mark.
Lastly, the fact that every character seems to carry two of the same gun, ostensibly for dual-wielding, is not only overkill, but defeats the purpose and concept of the technique, that it is difficult to pull off and that it gives the character a certain flair - a uniqueness that is stripped away by its becoming commonplace.
That's all I've got for now. I'm certain this sort of review is more intense than and perhaps not as constructive to your all-around authorial abilities as you might like, but I felt most of it needed to be said. Good luck, by the way.
| PHANTOM RANGER chapter 20 . 1/7/2014
Another great chapter! Keep it up!
And im glad ti hear that your crisis has started to clear up aswell. I hope things get better for you