|Reviews for The Break Up|
| writergirl96 chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
Okay, I am going to offer up constructive criticism because that is one of the only ways to become a better writer, which, I think, is what we all want to do.
I feel like the Kevin/Mel getting together was completely random. I know Mel and Kevin had a thing in the TB series but you don't explain it at all in your story. Why did Jazz tell Melanie that he thought she should be with Kevin?
And there is a lot of research that you can do on the internet for racing information when you are not sure about things. It is better to do that and learn what you are writing about, rather than write incorrect information.
I am big on visionary stuff, which can also help you post longer chapters. Where were they? What was the weather like? What was Kevin wearing? What was Melanie wearing? What did it feel like to ride Jinx?
Hope this helps you out dear. This is a great series, one of my favorites so it is good to see that other people love it as well.
| Funny Horsey chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
Hey I just suddenly realized there was new stories for this category so I thought about reviewing for both new stories any way I saw your note about 7 furlongs, a whole mile is 8 furlongs (I know why can't they just call it a mile) hehe well any way I forget sometimes but I couldn't resist. Any way there is finally a storie about Mel and Kevin yah!
| Reag chapter 1 . 10/8/2011
It rocks! Cant wait 4 the rest of the chapters (: