|Reviews for Just to Be|
| RosieShak11 chapter 30 . 3/4
Wow. This is one of the most convincing SSHG stories I have ever read (and I have read a lot). Sorry I haven't reviewed it before - it was too damn compelling to stop and write! I would have appreciated a little more romance but I think you choose the best way - staying true to the characters and staying true to the world - and if that comes with a little less fluff than I would personally like... fair s'nough :) I am seriously impressed by your writing - you should really try an original novel if that is at all something you'd go into. Well done!
| liz chapter 1 . 1/27
lovely story. needs to be in the 1k club. so just writing a review. loved your writing style and your completely justified treatment of the characters.
| whitehound chapter 30 . 1/3
Yes, that's right - no graduation ceremony, and in fact no graduation. Here, graduation is something you do from a university or equivalent college: at secondary school you're just a school leaver. There's some canon evidence for an end-of-summer-term Leaving Feast at Hogwarts but it evidently isn't any sort of graduation-equivalent, since the chronology strongly indicates that young Albus left Hogwarts as soon as he'd sat his NEWTs, weeks before the end of term.
Conratulations, anyway, on an interesting and original story. There's one typo in this chapter, very possibly generated by a spell-checker (I just have to work a spell-checker pun into one of my stories) - "as scorpions are want to do" should be "... wont to do", with an "o".
Thank you also for inspiring me to finally come up with a solution for fixing Hermione's parents - your story made me think it through.
| whitehound chapter 29 . 1/3
Ah, well, Luna doesn't *need* him to voice his feelings: she knows what they are already. And yes, in canon McGonagall is more polite and soft-mannered than Snape but she is actually far harsher and more punitive. Love the young man/old bint argument.
You have a word missing, probably "ingredients", from "the theft of from his stores".
| whitehound chapter 28 . 1/3
Disappointed that you made Percy a villain, but the business with the false memories is extremely well-thought-out and clever, both on your part and Snape's.
I think "comp" (which appears twice) is probably a Britpick, as I had to look it up in a dictionary to find out what it was.
There are a few small typoes.
As before, "He bore his black eyes" should be "He bored ...".
"had the Draco Malfoy not stumbled" - extraneous "the".
"free reign of the house" - should be "rein", as in allowing a horse to do its own thing.
"drawn into a reminiscing" - should be etiher "drawn into reminiscing" or "drawn into a reminiscence".
| whitehound chapter 27 . 1/3
A very clever solution all round.
You have one typo: "He bore his black eyes" should surely be "He bored his black eyes". As it stands it says that he carried his eyes.
| whitehound chapter 26 . 1/3
All coming to a head very nicely.
You have one typo - "muse" should be "mews". Like a kitten!
| whitehound chapter 24 . 1/3
She's in Sydney, isn't she?
There's one Britpick and one typo in thios chapter. "Cockamamie" should be "cockeyed", and "leave the fate of the Wizarding world to change" should presumably be "... to chance".
| whitehound chapter 23 . 1/3
Well, although Severus is being silly it seems perfectly feasible that he would have a flashback to his breakup with Lily, and get confused. And Hermione was rather an advanced girl for her age - I beleive it's canon that she snogged Krum (who bore a strong physical resemblance to Snape) when she was fifteen and he eighteen.
I don't think it's feasible that they could have gone months without seeing another person. There are only a handful of places in Britain that remote (one in central Wales, one in the Highlands plus a few offshore islands), and everywhere else they would see cars in the distance, a farmer on a tractor and so on. They could certainly go months without seeing another person close up, or speaking to them.
| whitehound chapter 22 . 1/3
I don't actually think Lily *was* good and forgiving - she's shown being cold and nasty to young Sev several times and he rarely deserved it. In the courtyard scene, she knows he's had a terrifying experience since the last time she saw him, and she doesn't even bother to ask how he is before launching into criticizing him.
And the Marauders certainly weren't good people. They weren't hopelessly bad, but Sirius was an attempted murderer and they were all bullies (JKR actually draws parallels between James and Dudley in the text, and she wrote a little outtake which showed James and Sirius indulging in a little light Muggle-baiting), and they all collaboarted in letting a werewolf roam near a village and school, despite several "near misses" which could have ended in somebody being bitten. And Peter, of course, would later turn out to be a betrayer and a mass murderer. Remus was the nearest to good and he put Harry in what he believed to be extreme danger, just to save face.
There's a tiny Britpick here - Severus would say "autumn term", not "fall term".
| whitehound chapter 21 . 1/3
Yes, a North African origin would explain Snape's colouring, with pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair. Britons with dark hair generally have dark skin and eyes, or pale skin and eyes - John Nettleship, the main original for Snape, had pale skin, black hair and lightish grey eyes. In my own stories I've made Snape Hispanic for the same reason, but he could also be from North Wales, where there is a lot of historic Spanish blood and hence people with dark hair and eyes and fair skin.
There are a few minor typoes in this chapter:
"She had a small smile on his face" - should be "... her face".
"to they finally accept" - should be "do they ..."
"beyond that what was normal" - should be either "beyond what ... " or "beyond that which ..."
| whitehound chapter 20 . 1/2
Even at the World Cup, where Draco called Hermione "Mudblood", he did it while conveying a perfectly genuine warning to her to stay out of danger. He's silly, spiteful boy but probably rather less murderous than Ginny, who seems to be all in favour of killing enemies.
You've got a bit of Britpick. "He had already handed off ... to" should be either "he had already handed on ... to" or "He had already palmed off ... on".
| whitehound chapter 19 . 1/2
The signing of the Frog card is a wonderfully clever idea - an excellent original use of something from canon.
According to JKR, Snape joined the DEs in part because he felt isolated and needed to be part of a group, as you say here, and in part because he thought it might impress Lily (who by that point had given him every reason to think she was turned on by thugs, after all).
We don't actually know what James's Patronus was - the stag was his Animagus form. Even allowing for that, the combination of stag and doe suggests a couple who appeared superficially to be suited, but who in fact weren't. A stag is a male red deer - a doe is a female *fallow* deer, a quite different species. I don't know if this was deliberate on JK's part or an error. [She does make errors - it seems pretty clear that she doesn't know McGonagall is a southern Irish Catholic name.]
| whitehound chapter 17 . 1/2
What would happen if he went into the brothel and Polyjuiced all his students to look like clients, and they walked out as men in suits? Or just6 started off by feeding the guards a potion to knock them out?
| whitehound chapter 16 . 1/2
"Belie" means "show to be false", so "a strong military often belies a weak state" would mean that a storng military showed that a state was *not* false, which I don;t think is what you meant.