|Reviews for Military's Apart|
| GinsengH chapter 1 . 9/4/2013
An interesting idea, but a few comments for this and the subsequent chapters:
The term "Fuhrer" implies leader. Why would a bunch of adults consent to allowing an 11 year old this title? And, that is assuming in your timeline that Kimberly has only recently become Fuhrer since she is currently 11 at the start of the story. Of course it is also implied in this first chapter that this resistance has been together for some time so we have to assume that the very oldest Kimberly was when she became this lead was 10 years old.
Perhaps if all the adults had been killed in the war or something then a 10 year old leader would be more plausible, but it's hard to jump on the idea that a bunch of adults would follow a 10 year old kid because her friend thought it would be a good idea.
The next problem we have is that Kimberly is the stated fuhrer, but she is kneeling to the "elder" in chapter 2. So is Kimberly the leader or is it the "elder"? If it's the former then why is she kneeling, if it is the ladder then what is her role exactly?
The military titles seem unnecessary in the context they are used. General, colonel, and lieutenant are all used sporadically without any real meaning. As I'm reading it feels more like watching a bunch of kids play war in the playground than the finely tuned military machine you seem to want to portray.
We also run into some heavily implied "mary-sue"-ness in the second chapter. The elder appears to be omniscient or nearly so, and it seems that you are gearing up to show off some spectacular strength from these kids.
I don't want to discourage you at all with any of this, but logically there are a lot of holes to fill with the setting of your story.
| Elvira Rayne chapter 12 . 8/20/2013
Hahahahahahaha that was funny. I would think that Ed would be more disgusted that he saw something like that xD Poor Edo lol. I'll be waiting for the next update though
| Dreamer372 chapter 12 . 8/20/2013
Right now this is a bit like a mix between: a pinch of hetalia, a handful of fruits basket, and two sackfuls of FMA. But in a good way! I LOVED it! UPDATE!
| Elvira Rayne chapter 11 . 8/19/2013
Wow...cliffhanger...gahhhhh whyyyyy. You torture me with this, ya know. Update soon? -
| Dreamer372 chapter 11 . 8/19/2013
Oh god, Kimberly... DON'T ATTACK THE FURHER! UPDATE!
| Elvira Rayne chapter 10 . 7/12/2013
Trolololol ball time! Though its a bit ooc that Ed and Al would trust Leo so easily...actually no it isn't because he's their age and easily got in like Ed too XD I'll be waiting for the next chapter though! I'm really glad that you finally updated though -
| Annabeth Zatsune chapter 10 . 7/7/2013
Nope. He's toast.
| LeliWrites chapter 9 . 6/30/2012
I really like the story!
| Ed's.Curious.Kitten chapter 9 . 6/30/2012
Great chapter! Please update again soon! :)
| Addicted-Animater99 chapter 9 . 6/29/2012
YOU NEED TO CONTINUE THIS! LIKE, RIGHT NOW, DUDE. IM LOST IN MY IMPATIENCE OF READING THE NEXT CHAPTERS! PLEASE HURRY BEFORE I DIEEEE! Thanks ;)
| Guest chapter 9 . 6/29/2012
This is great. Continue please
| Annabeth Zatsune chapter 9 . 6/29/2012
YAY! FINALLY UPDATED!
I liked how Ed asked if Leo had a girlfriend!
| Shadow the Ranger chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
whens the next chapter coming out i really enjoy this story
| Akaidance chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
I am loving this so far. Hope you continue it! I couldn't stop reading and can't wait for you to finish!
| Shadow chapter 7 . 1/1/2012
hey you! yea you thats writing this awsome piece of literature! get going on the nxt chapter please, there are others and me included who want more of this awesome story!