| Reviews for One Love, One Heart |
|---|
   Storylover Vodhr chapter 2 . 10/13/2011 Decent chapter. Try splitting up the paragraphs to 4 sentences, it makes it easier to read. Also make sure you spell check and always add punctuation. |
| LittleMissMidnight chapter 1 . 10/11/2011 no corrections? I'm sorry but that can't be helped. there will be people saying how to improve your work. Never take that as an insult. remember they just want to help. You need to add grammer in your speeches and more paragraph. making one whole paragraph hurts makes it hard to read. I do like where this is heading. short but i really like it. I like how you have expressed Ash's emotions over the battle. In the anime he got over it wayy to quickly. Still i'm looking foward tot he next chapter, keep it up. ~midnight |
| Storylover Vodhr chapter 1 . 10/11/2011 Pretty good. I find it ironic that the non speaking parts of the chapter have good grammar and everything, while when Ash speaks, it lacks commas, periods, and all of those things. look forward to the next chapter. |
| PichuAuraGuardian18 chapter 1 . 10/11/2011 Not a bad start. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the next chapter! |
| coolcj14 chapter 1 . 10/10/2011 Now I'm a tough person to please. There's always something in a story I don't like. I couldn't find anything like that in your story. |
| Itssupereffective chapter 1 . 10/10/2011 Just reading about Tobias in your story gets me angry on how Ash was able to beat Darkrai but the writers give him another legendary just so Ash wouldn't win the Sinnoh league. Sorry had to vent a little but I just wanna say that I can't wait to see May in this story and even though I'm an afvanceshipper don't make Drew OOC evil cause in my opinion advanceshipping stories are better when Ash isn't just given May cause Drew's evil but when May chooses Ash over Drew on equal terms. Hope you update soon. |
| Blue is the New Red chapter 1 . 10/10/2011 Not to shabby, a few grammar issuses, but even I have those, it's great to see a good Advanceshipping story in development amongst some of the crappy ones. Anyways, really looking forward to the next update. |
| Trakyan chapter 1 . 10/10/2011 its a good story and has good ideas and imagery, probably better than my own but i must say you seem to lack punctuation in speech which is key to telling tone and emotion which cant be seen or read in any other way as well as in some of the other parts but otherwise great |