|Reviews for The Controlled Chaos of Free Will|
| ryubimaru chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
is it team 8 by STarekan (not sure on spelling of authors name) i ask because it is kurenai's questeion her team and you even get examples of everything you indicated in the rant about how Naruto would change except for kiba(I think) including how she is killed by Itachi (which has potential to teach them all how to break the tsukiyomi espetially sasuke)
| MWkillkenny84 chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
Is the next story the legendary "Team 8"?
| Savior of the Rain chapter 7 . 8/18/2012
Interesting chapter, and a very good representation of the senseis. Although, I've never thought of Kurenai as timid. *shrugs*
| Fionn the Otaku chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
I think your being a bit to hard on Gai and Asuma, if he had A student like Naruto with a strong gift for Ninjutsu he'd seek out side help or help him to learn from scrolls and all of Asuma's students are semi-specialized in more or less secret family jutsu so his main job is teaching team work as well as helping them gain experiance.
BTW When it comes to the Hoshi-nin they are isolated and previous "Hoshikage" might have measured up better against the leaders of the five great villages.
| Okazaki323 chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
Nice chapter. I'm going to guess here and say you're gonna use team 8
| jeff22003 chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
Not that I don't love Team 8 and I do but you are not going to have us sit through all of it because it is too damn long as it stands alone. That guy needs a better editor.
| dragoon109 chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
your work is pretty good. the only problem i have is asuma. to me he seems to be a more reactive type of teacher. if his students push more for teaching than he would give more in turn.
| IMS chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
Thank you for that rant against Jiraiya. I revently re-read the manga again and had to notice that Naruto learned a ton more in the first couple months back in Konoha, and the months before he left, than in the YEARs with Jiraiya.
In fact, I don't think he learned anything on the trip besides KAI! and a bigger Rasengan...
I assume the next story will be Team 8?
I do not really like that choice. The problem with "reading" longer stories is that it gets bogged down to hell. Naruto reads Naruto drowned in the endless ocean of suck that was Yet Again,...
I would really recommend using short stories (25kwords) as targets, as otherwise it will get boring. And please, avoid to have more than one canon-retelling...
| HolyMage Mouto chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
I can actually agree on your opinions of the sensei, though I do wonder if Gai actually knows much outside of Taijutsu, I can expect a couple fire ninjutsu and storage sealing knowledge from him as they are generally useful to know but I'm not sure of his knowledge outside that.
| macdjord chapter 7 . 8/17/2012
So... Team 8?
| uo-chou chapter 6 . 7/21/2012
Good work, I like it!
| dogbertcarroll chapter 6 . 7/21/2012
Worse cliffhanger ever!
I was on the edge of my seat and *wham* end of story.
| LanceMeister chapter 4 . 7/14/2012
The surrounding ninja were startled by a low growl coming, not from Naruto or Kiba, but Gai himself. "Such actions by an instructor are both close minded and foolish. To impart the secrets of taijutsu with such an attitude is unforgivable, especially for a child. I will be having words with that man when we get back."
Cracking his knuckles, Naruto gave the Jonin an evil smile. "You know that sounds quite youthful. Please Gai-sensei, teach me the secrets of the flames of youth as we teach these ass hats a lesson."
Now WHY can't a scene like this be canon? Weeps Manly Tears
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/2/2012
Good story, keep writing it and I will keep reading! Thanks for sharing!
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/2/2012
Since you are aware that this story breaks the rules (more specifically, the one forbidding duplicate content), may I suggest something that would stop it from being deleted?
Instead of posting the whole extracts that the characters are watching, why not post just the beginning and the end, like this:
"Please!" Naruto pleaded. [...] He smirked.
So, yes, it would be a bit harder for people to read it, especially those that don't use a computer, since they wouldn't be able to open Shawny Wong's story in another tab, but better a story that's difficult to read than no story at all, right?