|Reviews for Wizard Chronicles 2: Aura of the Blue Moon|
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 17 . 11/23/2012
A foreign city? Somewhere on Earth or a Plane of the Multiverse? I suppose I'll find that out in a later story. Anyway, that was a thrilling conclusion and Willie and the others must be feeling pretty good about themselves right now. There's definitely new bad guys on the block, though.
Little suggestion: I really think you need to work on your dialogue for the characters. It ranges from somewhat natural-sounding to unbearably cheesy. Maybe you could write a first draft, say the dialogue out loud to yourself, then edit it based on how it sounds when spoken. That could help.
Best of luck with your next story!
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 16 . 10/14/2012
Jalen and Silas definitely make a powerhouse team, and the clock's ticking for the good guys. Willie and the others will need all their resolve and careful planning to get out of this alive!
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 15 . 9/15/2012
YouTube to the rescue! I often find it funny how things like cell phones and certain websites are used by the good guy mages and the villains alike. :P Anyway, there's quite a bit of progress here and Willie and his pals are on the verge of taking care of that Jalen problem, and even Misty is helping out in some ways.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 14 . 8/29/2012
A direct assault on Carson High school? Good thing that that little plot was foiled. That mist definitely provides good cover for the bad guys to launch ambushes and make quick getaways.
I've mentioned this before, but I still must object to how you handle your action scenes. You specify who's fighting and what cards are being used, but phrases like "The angels strike and wipe out the creatures" and "Two arrows come through the mist taking out the wurm grabbing the girls' attention" feel rather rushed and bland to me. A lot of stuff happens in each chapter, and you could easily split each existing chapter into two chapters and slow down your pace, using action words and descriptions to convey the battle and make it pop out, instead of the summarized, condensed diction that you seem to favor. The action is still pretty neat, though. It just needs different presentation, if you ask me.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 13 . 8/26/2012
Now there's a major development... there's a super-powerful dude in that ether and if he blends mana auras with Silas, then it's gg for the good guys! The stakes have never been higher than this.
I have to admit, it's kind of funny to read scenes with people's cell phones in this story. First Willie checks his Facebook feed on his phone about the mist, then I get to find out what Silas' ringtone is :P "Strange Clouds"? Sounds like a compliment to the evil mist that's spreading all over the place.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 12 . 8/13/2012
The bad guys are getting pretty bold with the blue moon's peak drawing near! There's werewolf packs, Landon getting possessed, an attack at the shopping mall and a duel with Matthias later on. The explanation about the nature of aura blending was appreciated, too, fleshing out a phenomenon that seems unique to this story (I've never seen aura blending anywhere else). And now Silas and Natalia are cooking up another plot!
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 11 . 5/1/2012
So Willie is chilling on his front porch during a cold snow day? I dunno if the pun was intended, but that was amusing either way. Anyway, the flashback helps solidify the background of Willie's relation to Silas and Damian, and those bad guys seem to be incurably wicked. A person who abandons his followers is going to be friendless when he needs help himself! I bet that will bite Silas on the a$$ at some point.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 10 . 4/18/2012
If only my high school had Magic tournaments that the whole school watched and cheered for :P
Anyway, that first battle was definitely a fizzle but the arrival of Amanda and Natalie provided a much bigger battle and a chance to show off the power of mana aura blending! Now Olivia's completely on board, I see, and her power will certainly be instrumental in defeating Silas, I bet.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 9 . 3/19/2012
And here I thought everything was going to settle down :P Let's see what Silas' new set of cronies can do! Interesting to see Misty decide to live out her life with peace and reflection rather than get back out into the fray. No telling if she might change her mind, though! And hmmmmm, a crystal shattered and its pieces scattered all over the place.. sounds kind of familiar! lol
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 8 . 3/1/2012
Willie and the others were standing 500 feet in the air to fight their battle? That sounds like something from Bleach! :D
Anyway, intense battles here with Ludevic's Abomination hatching at last. Too bad that Willie's super-pumped dragons took them all out! A blue 13/13 trampler is nothing to scoff at. Even with this victory against Damian, Silas is confident that his plans will soon succeed. What's going to happen next?
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 7 . 1/30/2012
"The master is not to be disturbed." What is Damian, a butler? :P I'm kidding ya. But really, as soon as Silas and Damian start fighting, they're tough contenders, using an Army of the Damned and a playset of Thorn Elementals right away. Olivia is bound to have some tricky powers in store as well, and then there's the matter of those Test Subject eggs. I'll bet that at least a few of them manage to hatch, depending on how well developed they are. 13/13 trample blue lizards would ruin everyone's day!
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 6 . 1/15/2012
So these guys can now play their cards directly from their bodies? That's bound to catch a few opponents off-guard and score some surprise hits. Good for Melanie that she can control her power again, which will be vital for fighting the baddies! Now Silas is making a drastic move, and I'd love to see how that unfolds.
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 5 . 1/10/2012
You're back with more werewolf action, and this new aura-blending technique the werewolves used sounds pretty dangerous - I bet we'll see more of that later. I too wonder what name Willie will give to his wizard battle group. Good idea to develop the overall plot using a news broadcast, since that feels authentic and isn't too heavy-handed. Melanie's possession problem and that Silas dude lurk on the horizon too, promising more excitement!
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 4 . 11/29/2011
"Carson Central campus fills with students not so eager to begin a new week." Rofl! That's pretty much how it is for high schools.
An exciting update with a new character present, the evil ex-gf Olivia. It's only natural for her and Kali to form a quick and intense rivalry, and I'm almost certain that Olivia has some devious plans up ahead that Kali might not see coming! Being the vampire queen, Olivia is bound to have some servants just waiting to do her bidding. And zombies coming up? Yes please!
I notice that this chapter was written in present tense, though the earlier ones were in past tense. I recommend keeping them all in the same time tense, unless the present-tense serves a certain function in this update. (I'm not much of a present-tense fan anyway)
| Ulquiorra9000 chapter 3 . 11/20/2011
And now the action is on a larger scale, and Silas' new minion Damian sure knows how to stir the pot! Willie and crew are still sharp and hardworking when it comes to fighting the baddies, though, so their high schol is in good hands... until a really powerful foe shows up and wrecks life! I hope that happens to add some more dark tones and tension to this tale.
Neat to have an ex-gf in the mix, but her note seems to be missing a word or two. What does "I'll see you on very soon" mean? Should be there a word between "on" and "very", like "on the school campus very soon" or something like that?