|Reviews for Bitter Love|
| Dancing-Souls chapter 1 . 10/26/2011
Sorry I have taken so long to look! Thanks for reading my stories it means a lot. So there are some grammar errors, but I make a lot of those as well heheh! The first chapter is always hard to capture people's attention. I think your idea is really good, but to make the story better you should make it flow a bit more. It is good to pay attention to details, but it is important to have a strong focus-is the focus on the time or the main character for instance. You don't necessarily have to make this chapter longer, but something else needs to happen to catch the readers attention. What have you read in other stories that caught your attention or made you want to read on. Keep in mind there are many Amuto fanfics so you will want your summary and plot to stand out! Just a few alterations and you will be on your way! :D You are getting there! The most important thing is to not give up and work on area's you lack! I enjoyed reading this chapter! Will there be another one?
| melllifluous chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
it's great. got some errors but not really much. looking forward to the second chapter, so hopefully you update soon
| Crimson Siege chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
Oh... I'll review alright... you missed out on some words, and you need to correct that foul grammar of yours...
(inner whispers) Creamy-chan... be nice :)
Me(scowls) Shuddup! Oh fine! Like I'm one to say those things...
(mutters some words) Alright, you did your best for your first story... and I'm not helping you out for the next one -_-
(Inner growling) Creamy-chan!
Me(snorts) Okay... I'm a hypocrite... right, Pappy-chan, I'm going to correct my stories so I'll check back on you when you've finished your next chappie kae? UPDATE!
Inner-chan & Crimson Siege $$