|Reviews for Regret, Desire, Hope: The Triangle Chronicles|
| carcrafter7 chapter 2 . 3/16
Well this chapter answers my question. I really like this story so far. I wonder if the man wolf will snap out of his crazed hunger.
| carcrafter7 chapter 1 . 3/16
This is a very good story and well written. Though I'm wondering if there are vampires or werewolves in this story. The story so far from this chapter reminds me of the road.
| Neil Matheson chapter 5 . 11/6/2012
| Aerivia chapter 6 . 4/19/2012
I didn't understand this chapter...
| crackedradio chapter 9 . 12/1/2011
I don't have any criticism to offer this round, I fear but I can only repeat what I have said before: Wonderful prose and you are good at building up suspense. I can't help but want to know what will happen to Luna, what she sees, what other things she'll discover. I find you characters to be very engaging with their own distinct voice which is rare in fic in general (it's something I, too, struggle with)
I really don't get why you don't get any reviews.
P.S.: After re-reading your previous chapters, I take the criticism from my last review back :)
| crackedradio chapter 6 . 11/3/2011
An excellent chapter, once again. Your prose is getting better with every chapter, I don't think I spotted a single awkward or out of place line. Nor did I spot any spelling/grammar mistakes.
My one complain is the storytelling, I fear. It's anachronistic and that is fine, and the chapter do stand on their own and are great, but what I am missing is, well, a link between what's happening, on occasion. But that might just be me.
| crackedradio chapter 5 . 10/26/2011
I think the sixth chapter is my favourite as of yet. The conversation between the werewolf and Luna is fascinating and the imiginary you wove into it is gorgeous.
I think that your writing style has improved - it flows really well in this chapter. What I also like are the various allusions to how the world got so fucked - I think I spotted some hints to the Antediluvians/Wyrm/other creatures running amok and humanity responding in kind. Out of curiousity - will you eleborate more on that?
I'd argue though that some parts of the dialogue are slightly awkward, like for example "We are a third world country". To me that sounds unnatural and forced, because well, most third world countries aren't completely barren, lifeless nuclear wastelands. Otherwise though, the dialogue is excellent.
One thing that I disliked, however, were some of the references to TvTropes, or better the in-text use of tropes, such as the whole "deadpan snarker" thing. I wouldn't recommend using the lingo - it feels out of place, sort of forced and it's not particulary clever or creative, IMO. The emphasis is on IMO, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
| crackedradio chapter 1 . 10/14/2011
This is a very promising start - both chapters are. Your writing and characterisations are solid, and you manage to create an interesting, dark and sad atmosphere.
But I also think that the story could use some more fleshing out, more world-building, so to speak. What does the world wrecked by the apocalypse look like in more detail? Are there corpses littered on the ground in formely dense populated places and if so, how does Luna react to them?
Regarding Chapter One: You literally throw the reader into the scene, which isn't bad, but some exposition that states how Luna got into that position and where the they are could add something to the story.
But the story, regardless of my criticism and nit-picking, is good and I'll hope you continue it :)