Reviews for Please Remember |
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![]() ![]() ![]() .i started this 1 year ago and now I saw that you have updated I'm so update soon and thanks:) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I read your story many years ago and glad you decided to return :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey, You're back! I've always wanted to see hoe this would get wrapped up |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello! I've just catched up with your story and I want to say it's quite good. I like the multiple subplots in this story and the OCs, it's like a tv show. I just can't wait to see the next development, interaction. Regarding the OCs, I'd say they are doing ok. Quintus is the regular unproblematic guy who offers healthy typical high school friendship (hanging out together for meal, asking help for homework...). About de Ark, well it's another matter. We know nothing about her besides rumors and the fact she's a misfit for...reasons. I know she's an assigment but as she said she has no reason to open up to Artemis while Artemis himself is not interested in forming bond. I think friendship or whatever you have for her is not going to be easy to have. So, wait and see. Anyway, what happened to Opal's brother? Alvayn |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yes it's pretty good. Is she going to just stay at the manor or will she also appear at artemis's school |
![]() ![]() ![]() More... Plz... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I've been enjoying this story for the past day or so, and I have a few critiques: (PLEASE do not take this as a flame - it is meant as friendly advice.) 1) It is more engaging to the reader if you avoid repeated use of the same word or phrase within the same page or so. For example: "I'll just return this book," he told the McKinley heir as they stood up, "I'll just meet you at the cafeteria." "Nah, I'll just wait for you outside. There's a chance that you might not show up if I went ahead," Quin answered with a shake of his head and a smile, but his eyes held an expression akin to worry, "You haven't been eating much this past days. Don't think I will let it slide," In this section of Chapter 12, "I'll just" is used several times within the same block of text, where "I'll" or "I'm going to" could have been used instead. 2) Your flow of words is a little jumbled. In some sentences, it seems like there are just too many words, and if you removed a few, it would be a little more fluid. Simplicity is often best. 3) This isn't a huge problem or anything, just a suggestion. It seems like your story so far has been a play-by-play of every single thing that has happened since the attack. It's okay to jump ahead sometimes and skip some events. Thank you for listening, and for writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story, loving it so far. Though I'll have to say I'm missing Butler. Keep on writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm really enjoying this story so far-please do update as soon as you can! I like Quin. Still can't decide on the other OC. PLEASE update! I am craving this! It's rare that you come across a good ongoing chapter fic that hasn't been abandoned. Really looking forward to more :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please update |
![]() ![]() PLEASE UPDATE! :D It's so epic! |
![]() ![]() aww. ...pls hurry up i love artemis fowl would be horrified at my grammar,but still! |
![]() ![]() Plz hurry I read both third heneration and thsi so plzzzzz hurrry iwill die withput both stories |
![]() ![]() ![]() I feel like I'm reading one another one of Eoin Colfer's books. This story is just so well written, and you have Artemis's personality spot on. Overall, amazing story. I look forward to the next chapter when you get around to it. |
![]() ![]() This story captivated my attention from the very beginning. I follow several fics on this site, but out of all of them, this is the one I anticipate updates for the most. I like how you took a break from focusing on Holly, allowing suspense to build and other character development. However, I am indeed quite happy that the story is returning to The People, Holly in particular. I anxiously await the next update, and the return of Holly's memories. |