|Reviews for Decay|
| Jasminedreamsong chapter 5 . 9/26
| Awinarock chapter 5 . 8/5/2014
You're right, this is Fan Fiction and your story, so you're welcome to do whatever you want. That being said, you're pretty much ignoring any reviews that point out your story's most critical weakness with a "don't like, don't read" mentality. Again, that's fine if you're okay with writing a mediocre story, but I honestly think you're missing out on a great opportunity to improve your writing. There's nothing wrong with tweaking Canon history and personalities, but the actions of your characters still need to make sense from their point of view. I'll say it again. Naruto is a jinchuuriki. That means he's essentially a WMD which means that Konoha would handle him with extreme care. It looks like you're using Gaara as a template for how all jinchuuriki, however, his situation was unique. He was essentially an imperfect jinchuuriki due to subpar seal used to seal Ichibi inside him, which caused his sand manipulation to be constantly active and out of his control. What I'm trying to say with all of this is that you have to be reasonable with how you portray your characters. Make things less black and white.
| LadyEudave05 chapter 5 . 5/24/2014
lol please update soon.
| Awinarock chapter 1 . 1/18/2014
One thing immediately pops that is not only grating, but retarded. Not once in Canon was Naruto homeless. Ever. A pariah, yes, but never homeless or starving, and with good reason. Naruto is a Jinchuruki, the ninja equivalent of a WMD. While the Hokage could never do anything to make the villagers like Naruto, he always made sure to keep him safe. It wasn't just the Hokage either. Danzo and the Council (compromised of Koharu and Homura with only advisory privileges) want Naruto to be safe just as much as Sarutobi does, though for completely different reasons. When your opening chapter starts off with something that comes off as outlandish and illogical (in the sense that your characters personality and motivations wouldn't make them act this way). Your story would be much better off without this crap weighing it down. Naruto still has good reasons for getting close to the Kyuubi at a young age: he's alone and lonely. Honestly, more than anything, Naruto's loneliness is the most reasonable catalyst for a close relationship with the Kyuubi. With all this being said, while there are few grammatical errors here and there, your writing is easy to read and technically sound. I'm also happy to see that this story won't be romantically focused. I've read way too many stories that have Naruto befriend the Kyuubi at an early age only to end up Naruto/Fem!Kyuubi.
| TigrezzTail chapter 5 . 4/6/2013
Man, even after the bitching Kyuubi gave him, he's still making trouble for himself. He already knows the Hokage can watch him whenever he wants...
| TigrezzTail chapter 4 . 4/6/2013
Wow, Naruto is certainly taking his new found knowledge to heart and new heights. Wonder what Kyuubi will think of all of this?
| TigrezzTail chapter 3 . 4/6/2013
Oh man! Poor Naruto getting stuck with Ebisu...
| TigrezzTail chapter 2 . 4/6/2013
Woah that was radically unexpected. I can't wait to see how well Naruto manages to manipulate all of this without being found out.
| TigrezzTail chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
I had so much fun following Naruto's logic!
| erching chapter 5 . 8/11/2012
please do continue
| Immortalis Cruor Elf chapter 5 . 3/12/2012
| Melikalilly chapter 5 . 1/11/2012
i like this story
| sinisteruto chapter 5 . 1/5/2012
Great stuff mayn once again, and I understand the slow development, but I doubt some readers will be as understanding. You see this is the main difference between a completed novel and a fanfiction, readers do not mind a slow build up in a completed novel because they know that all they have to do is move on to the next page to find out what happens next.
But in a fan fiction, sometimes you have to wait months in order to see the next chaptern which is why readers are generally unhappy when they read a slow build up story like yours. Because they feel like their being cheated somehow, which is probably why you have so few reviewers despite the high quality or your work.
My suggestion is to make longer chapters, like double the length of your chapters. This way you can have faster progress in your fic without cheapening the quality, the story will move faster but you will still be able to do it without changing your style, without losing quality or value in your work, and without rushing through everything.
If you don't take my suggestion than you will just have to be patient with the readers, your story popularity will eventually increase because this is definately a magnificent story in the making, but only much much later in the story.
I also understand why you have started things at such a young age. Indeed it does make his lack of canon like personality much more realistic, its kinda like the gaara thing, shukaku was able to interact with gaara at a very young age in canon and warped him into what he wanted gaara to be by pretending to be his mother.
Naruto's situation is similar, Naruto has no one to give him guidance and everyone else refuses to be a part of his life or even acknowledge his existense. Kyubi did both, acknowledged him and gave him guidance, in his desperate situation, naruto can't help himself but to cling on to the kyubi and latch on to whatever is said to him because of his fears of loneliness and the need for acknowledgement, this is much easier for kyubi to do when naruto is at a very young and vulnerable age.
Really, your fic is truly amazing, can't wait for the next update. Keep it up yo.
| hedwigfan chapter 5 . 1/5/2012
Good story. I like that your Kyuubi seems truthfull (he saya to Naruto that he is a demon and sees people as pray).
| yukinari chapter 4 . 12/27/2011
interesting please update.