Reviews for AkuDemyZexyRoku
em chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
nice story that was hot haha
Sorexa chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
Man do I wish I was Roxas! Great story, Ollieboii!
Basilisk Ishikir chapter 1 . 10/20/2011
THIS IS NOT A FLAME! Just a few tips to help you with writing.

1. Everything needs to be the same tense. Was, has, were, are all examples of PAST tense. So the forth paragraph is past tense and the statement is present, and that does effect reading the story.

2. Commas, you over use them in some places, and not at all in others. Commas are used to combine to thoughts that could be sentences on their own and to combine things; such as answers or responses that are only one or two words- yes, no, maybe, okay, etc. They also show SHORT pauses in speech. "Yeah you should Dem," should be "Yeah, you should Dem," As Axel is confirming, then stating the Demyx should.

3. I, names, nicknames, proper nouns are always capitalized.

4. Foreign words; seme, uke, yaoi and others, should ALWAYS be explained or hinted at in the story. Other countries do read these stories.

5. Beta's and spell check are always there, even crappy ones like OpenOffice or LibraOffice.

Happy writings,