Reviews for Shattered Realms
Tommo1 chapter 12 . 6/4
Awesome, incredibly detailed and thought out Story. Please keep continuing this project of yours.
Guest chapter 4 . 5/3
Um so if you two are fans of George rr Martin, does that mean that pretty much anyone that gets alot of focus is gonna be killed off?
ZekeTheDude chapter 3 . 4/21
Great story!
Guest chapter 12 . 4/16
Man, never thought i would even see another update for this story again
almost brings a tear to my eye
thx
darkmachines chapter 12 . 4/16
Huh, well it was interesting. So that how think with Aizen hmm. Well, look forward to see how things will go next time.
Kassey chapter 4 . 4/15/2014
An amazing start to what looks to be an epic story. I've only just started and finished reading the first three chapters, but I have a few thoughts I wanted to share before I get too carried away reading. First, your characterization is on point. I feel like each highlighted character so far is so clearly drawn out that it doesn't seem like you just threw in a random Bleach character to fill in a minor role. Even the created characters are dynamic and if not always memorable, significant in their own way. However, with that being said, I feel like there is still a greater potential for many of these characters. Orihime and Chad for example seem to be slightly lacking to me, because although you flesh out and give their characters a role that stands out, I still find myself confused about their stories and background. There was a lot of information thrown out about their current life style and bits and pieces about what lead to those circumstances, but I'm having trouble trying to piece everything together, especially with the 200 year timeline you've given. There's nothing wrong with the way you're written the story so far, but I just really hope you bring the readers back to their individual stories and allow a more in depth look at their lives and significance to the overall plot. There are other characters I could be adding to this as well, including Byakuya and Toshiro, but I have a feeling you won't disappoint, so I won't dwell on it. Tatsuki though, who seems to be the expected " main" character and hero of this story is really intriguing to me especially. Whenever a secondary character gets put into the center role of a story, especially one like this where there are greater factors involved beyond just romance and drama, there's a risk you take as a writer, as a lot of the story and characterization is original work as opposed to Ichigo, who is pretty much universally understood more or less from the original Bleach series. I'm looking forward to how you develop and build off of the Tatsuki Kubo created. My last and biggest concern, and this is where you see my Ichiruki heart come through, is the way Ichigo and Rukia's relationship is represented. Call me a romantic, but I actually find this couple, in THIS story, a bit lacking. I just don't really buy it. I don't think you need to fill a story with affectionate words and love scenes to make a relationship believable, but at the same time, especially in this chapter, it seems as though Ichigo is not so much in love with Rukia as he is just ready to settle down. I think the circumstances of their relationship is believable. I mean it's been hundreds of years and they are fairly close, so becoming intimate isn't unnatural, but the whole marriage proposal and wedding, especially since the bride is potentially dead, just isn't adding up to me. Ichigo is surprisingly petulant and childish in all his actions, including towards Rukia. He does not act like a man who knows what he wants. He seems more confused than anything. If Chad's words are true, that Ichigo is only marrying Rukia because there is no other better option, and because everyone else thinks it's going to and should happen anyway, I really rather they not end up together. Frankly, Ichigo doesn't deserve Rukia if he is only settling with her because she's able to put up with him. I just feel like if they aren't able to give each other something they don't and can't have apart, then why waste the energy? I get that Ichigo is looking for some purpose after losing the rest of his friends, and Rukia doesn't really have anyone other than Byakuya now that Renji is dead, but that sounds like a shallow relationship to me anyway. Just enjoying each other's company doesn't make for a good marriage. Perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but it doesn't seem like Rukia is really what Ichigo wants, and vice versa (although Rukia's perspective was so short I hesitate to say much about her thoughts). It does appear that this couple is endgame for your story though, so I only hope that their relationship is given a stronger basis than just a century long fling and mutual loneliness. I usually regard Ichigo and Rukia as strong characters, even if the former is impulsive and the latter slightly insecure, so if they don't actually love each other, it makes me feel uncomfortable to see them together. I am an Ichiruki shipper because in Bleach, their dynamic is so smooth and integral to how the story unfolds and progresses. Their trust and support of one another is what defines their relationship. Without one, the two of them would not be who they are. In this story that dynamic is not as clear, so their relationship seems more forced and awkward than natural and real. This could be practicality for the fact that they are much older now, so things are a little more dulled down, but even still I can't help but find myself confused over the matter more than not.
Fangking2 chapter 3 . 8/5/2013
...I read the first three chapters just today...and they are all hardcore.
Galaxia chapter 10 . 7/25/2013
There's an interesting seed of a story here, exploring how a Hollow society in Hueco Mundo that is based on the surviving Espada would develop, and what Soul Society would look like post multiple Aizen-led wars, but it's obscured by shoddy world building and some really awful characterization. The use of expy characters really does not help, as their names are glaringly out of place in whatever setting they are in. Too often it feels like whole sections of the story are just copied from another book/TV show, without much thought given into integrating the event into this background. Instead of being a homage, such lifted events only served to stand out in jarring contrast to the rest of the world, which completely throws me out of the story.

This chapter in particular bugs me a great deal. Why do Tatsuki and Nemu suddenly develop a Hollow side out of nowhere, when it goes against every canon explanation of hollowfication from Bleach? And why just those two? Why not Ikkaku and Hanataro as well? It reeks of forcing events into the story for the sake of "interesting" plot and contrived stakes, when it has no solid grounding or basis in the world of Bleach.

Speaking of Tatsuki, she's one of the awful characterizations I mentioned earlier. She's almost unrecognizable from her canon counterpart, and not enough is explained so a reader can see where the changes in personality come from. Ichigo is another; he doesn't feel like someone who survived two wars with Aizen, and he definitely doesn't talk like canon Ichigo. His angry speech to Kukaku's kid was way too flowery and indirect.

In the author notes for this chapter there's a lot of talk about how this is a journey and experience, hence the slow action and heavy build up. The problem is the inconsistent universe doesn't foster a connection to the new original characters, and a journey which meanders along making up explanations as it goes is also one which never provides satisfying answers. I'd already started skipping massive sections of the chapters to find something more interesting going on. Even the so-called mystery of Rukia's fate didn't grab my attention, despite her being my favorite Bleach character, as it was telegraphed so heavily. There is something fundamentally wrong with the story when I don't even care about what happened to a character I like. I had to force myself through these past two chapters, but no more, I'm stopping here. I only hope this criticism will improve the future chapters of this story, as this fanfic is still actively being worked on.
laughingspider chapter 11 . 7/19/2013
May I just say ... holy crap this is awesome! I applaud your dedication to big novel - length chapters. I'm really enjoying the way this is all coming together and how you're weaving the plot strands of the various characters and time periods together into this seamless whole. This has been a real pleasure to read and I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks!

Shawn
sweetcove chapter 3 . 5/17/2013
Are Captain and Vice-Captain level shinigami required to wear power limiters in the material world as in canon?
Anon chapter 11 . 5/6/2013
I eagerly await the next installment!
darkmachines chapter 11 . 4/20/2013
Wow that was a very impressive chapter. So we finally found poor Rukia and learn some more on what happen next time. I'm really getting into this story now, at first as it was Ok, but now I'm enjoying it more and like to know more too. Keep up the awesome work Ok.

Also another ideas I have is that the Chelute should be a group of wonders that are forever travel around Hueco Mundo. In the group are surviving Calaveras that were once part of the Exequias that Rudobon leaded. Maybe you can have Tatsuki and group meet with them and ask for directions. Since after all the Wonders have almost aready traveled around all of Hueco Mundo and know were places are.
ZiggyGebs777 chapter 11 . 4/20/2013
Sorry, I forgot to sign in...
Anyway, Ziggygebs777's unlogged-in review still stands.
Ziggygebs777 chapter 11 . 4/20/2013
I had my suspicions, but this tears it! Love this story, worth the 4months for each chappie, fo sho!
Question...what happened to dear Tia Halibel? Will you cover it?
FreeTraderBeowolf chapter 1 . 3/15/2013
Well the easy part first. Good proofreading. Thank-you for making it easy to read. I am still assimilating your opening, and I can easily see that it has great promise.
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