|Reviews for To annoy a potions master|
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/7/2013
You've already finished this story, but I don't think I can read past this chapter. Perhaps English isn't your first language? At any rate, since you asked for suggestions, here are a few tips for you for the future.
1. QUOTATIONS: Connect the words the character says to the speech tag ("he says" or "she exclaimed") with a comma. You often forget the comma.
2. ADDRESSING ANOTHER CHARACTER: When one character speaks directly to another character, their name must be set aside with commas. Again, you often forget the comma.
3. ENDING SENTENCES WITH PUNCTUATION: Only periods, question marks, and exclamation points can end a sentence.
4. RUN-ON SENTENCES. Every sentence has one subject and one verb. There can be additional subjects and verbs in dependent clauses, but not in the main sentence. Break up these long run-on sentences into two or three smaller sentences. Your very first sentence in this chapter, for example, is actually 4 sentences: (1) Merlin...emotions. (2) I...also. (3) Severus...out. (4) Harry...suicidal.
*** An example for you to correct: "Out Miss Granger" he snaps, finally regaining the power to talk. ***
*** This breaks rules 1 and 2. Right? "Out, Miss Granger," he snaps, finally regaining the power to talk. ***
It's actually difficult to read your writing because there's 1-3 errors in every sentence. You clearly like writing, since you've posted a lot. If you just stop before you post your story and give it an edit (or get a beta reader), you can improve your writing so that more people will read it. All the best!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 21 . 9/18/2013
did severus ever get her back for the last prank turning him into a woman? what happened after the last chapter before the Epilogue dont end it there the story and then do to an Epiloge write more to this story!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 20 . 9/18/2013
dont end it there the story and then do to an Epiloge write more to this story!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 17 . 9/18/2013
"Why professor what an attractive woman you make" I say with a wink as Draco wolf whistles beside me sending us into a new fit of giggles. DOES HE STILL HAVE A PENIS?
"GET OUT NOW!" professor snape yells and we are all wise enough to run out of the classroom, I run into the hall laughing loudly… but my early comment still stood.. he made quite an attractive woman.
"Merlin he looked ridiculous" Ron says as we walk towards the great hall.
I shrug "I don't know.. I'd still tap that" I say with a wink as I skip ahead leaving three open mouthed boys.
IS HERMIONE A LESBIAN? I shrug "I don't know.. I'd still tap that" I say with a wink as I skip ahead leaving three open mouthed boys.
meaning she will fuck him as a female!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 15 . 9/18/2013
Do you mistake me for one of your Dunderhead friends.. who is he? Who's robe are you wearing?"
"I erm I…" for once I am at a loss for words, his arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer towards him and then roughly begins to undo the ties of the robe.
"You do not wear another mans clothes" he says as he tosses the robe to the side, leaning in his face just inches away from mine "You are mine.." he leans in ever so slowly until his lips are just hovering over mine, my eyes flickering closed as my heart races. He's going to kiss me.
"Merlin's beard" a voice exclaims.
WOW he doesnt like her wearing other mans clothes and he called her his! so annoyed they where interraped!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 11 . 9/18/2013
but he never drank the drink from him cup after she put the potion in it so how did the potion get in his system? also for severus told her he loved her did he know that he loved her?
| hermionefan1983 chapter 10 . 9/18/2013
surely she would have realized it as fake when it said Unfortunately we made a mistake with you and it seems that you are not really a witch after all, you are an uncommonly talented garden gnome,
i laughted so hard when i saw that! poor hermione!
| hermionefan1983 chapter 9 . 9/18/2013
knowing he is going to get her back for the pranks WHY in gods name would she take and USE the shampoo he gave her knowing its so out of character of him to do such a thing from him to for her! "Actually miss Granger. I have something for you" he says shocking the hell out of me.
"Aww how sweet" I mumble as he turns away and grabs something.
"Here, maybe this will help control that frizz that you call hair" he snaps, thrusting a bottle into my hands before slamming the door shut.
Huh well that was rude. Glancing down at the bottle and then at the closed door in horror, but perhaps I will use it after all.
I head back to the common room, and shower using my special shampoo before dressing in my nightgown and climbing into my bed.
| hermionefan1983 chapter 6 . 9/18/2013
in this story is harry gay though?
| hermionefan1983 chapter 2 . 9/18/2013
i thought she said she was going to hug him every monday morning but in her diary it says hug snape on fridays? ! confused! "People who are hugged regularly live longer sir" I say with a beaming grin "which is why for you benefit every Monday morning I am going to hug you" I tell him with confidence.
"You most certainly are not."
"But I have to sir, I have to now I wrote it in my diary and you cannot argue with the power of the diary" I open up my planner to a random week and hold it up to him, showing him that 'hug a snape' is clearly pencilled in the space for Friday.
| dragana1983 chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
NOT IN FIRST PERSON WHOLE WAY I HOPE ITS NOT!?
| carrie.bennett.585 chapter 15 . 7/1/2013
awwwwkward in a good way
| carrie.bennett.585 chapter 11 . 7/1/2013
Wow love confession. I love how you tinge the hilarity with shocking moments.
| carrie.bennett.585 chapter 9 . 7/1/2013
I can't stop laughing
| carrie.bennett.585 chapter 8 . 7/1/2013
Oooooh myyyyy gooood this is hilarious