Reviews for WHY HARRY POTTER BEATS TWILIGHT EVERY TIME
The Celestial Alchemist chapter 1 . 4/18
I salute you. The TRUE vampires are Alucard and Seras from Hellsing Ultiment :D
angiestar17 chapter 1 . 10/13/2014
Loved it...and had a good laugh out of it too :D
Guest chapter 1 . 8/14/2014
You miss that he use the an unforgivable curse as a power
61394 chapter 1 . 11/29/2013
I saw the first movie the only realistic character I saw was Jacob and then meyer in all her stupidity and severe grossness turns him into a pedophile for Bella's CG baby

twilight is sick disgusting smut without any form of sex till the fourth book which was all hyped up there was little violence the villains were pathetic the protagonist had the emotional range of a dead cockroach Robert Pattison looked like they dumped paint on him before filming they probably only casted taylor lautner because of his physique and if I even mention that final 'battle' I will scream to the heavens

give me Dracula Vladimir Tod show me real vampires who aren't just angst filled sparkling manikins

overall the fantasy genre suffered a terrible blow and that blow is called twilight

144. all the kids shows make parodies to make fun of Twilight not Harry Potter
I pray that science fiction doesn't suffer as much with the host
millie chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
I agree with every point i mean the only thing i didnt like about harry potter was that it ended but it will be remembered by everyone. Twilight is already started to being shoved asid
MegMeg chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
I totally agree with every point! Twilight is a completely pointless novel with no plot and no structured characters. Some "Twihards" don't even get their facts right when they try and bash other fandoms that are way better.
E.g:

JKR totally copied Stephanie Meyer. Jacob Black and Sirius BLACK...

No, stupid Muggles need to get their facts right. HP was developed and written way before Stephanie Meyer fell into that deluded dream of sparkling sissy vampires and Mary Sues.
Reader at heart chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
Really enjoyed. at first i loved twilight but then got discovered fanficion and read it in a different light and realized that 2. Edward Cullen is a stalker 3. I am now offended that Bella is so weak that she can't move on and is unable to realize that watching people sleep is creepier than Hagrid in a bikini.
Hamsta97 chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
LOL! Totally agree 'bout Twilight fans! I've been friends with this girl for three years and when I said I didn't like Twilight she didn't speak to me for three weeks. Stupid and pointless...
Spawn of Hades chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
Vampires don't have any blood, right? You need blood to have an erection. It's biologically impossible for Edward to have an erection so he can't make Bella pregnant with some freaky vampire baby thing.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
I. Love. You. You pointed out everything I've ever thought of and, so much more. It was hilarious and reminded me of all the amazing things that J.K. Rowling has done. *bows down to your insane awesomeness*
I'llChangeThisLater chapter 1 . 6/5/2012
I just read this and I just want to day...this is actually true. I used to love twiight but now that I read this I couldn't agree with you more. This was funny too :)
LTree16 chapter 1 . 5/12/2012
Agree I like the twilight. Yet the fact all those ideas like the same last name for sirus and jacob... nope she copied. And one u don't say imprinting is true love its forced and a bunch of flippen bs and leah was yelled at for being like tonks. Well then screw u myers thank u for writing this
Words and Fire chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
Every word, Every SINGLE word... WAS SO TRUE! I read Twilight last year, abandonned it, friend forced me to finish it. Read the last chapter and thought "Could've figurred it out at the begining...
TheManyFacesofJester chapter 1 . 3/22/2012
For Number 69, you forgot to mention how she weaves there characters into their names

I am Lord Voldemort. Enough Said.

Hermione was a character in what I believe was a Greek ledgend, though it could be Roman. In it the character Hermione, being very clever, froze herself in time to protect herself, which refers to Hermione being Petrified in the second book.

Draco represtent the Serpent or Dragon, 'Draco' from many Legends. That represts both his House and his Personality.

Crab and Goyle. We refer to crabs as unpleasent things, though small and weak, and Gargoyles as ugly protectors of higher powers.

Though Harry, funny enough, is a verb meaning to Continually or Chronically Annoy. So, Read into that what you will.

But I must disagree with Number 42. I never read Twilight, but endings at the begining can be alluring sometimes. Look how wildly popular Romeo and Juliet is. But it must be done right.

In Romeo and Juliet telling you at the begining was meant to give you a chance to anylize the rest of the story and try and work out whether it was actually divine providence that they should die, or simply coincidence.

Other then that, I did have a good laugh at some of these things you wrote. Very creative!
AaylaKit chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
SM reminds me of this one girl who wrote a terrible Star Wars fanfic with a HUGE Mary-Sue. On each chapter, I offered her small hints for improvement. She replied "idc im doing this my way". Fed up, I finally posted a long review put as tactfully as I could. Her responsse? She said "butt out if u dont lik it", as well as several other nasty things about me, then put her story on hiatus, presumably as some sort of protest.

Meyer isn't QUITE as immature, but definitely pretty close. And she KILLED the dictionary!
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