|Reviews for All Things Probable IV: Graduation|
| Guest chapter 9 . 6/19
Could you tell when you update?
| RH kdss chapter 9 . 6/18
I almost fell from my chair when I read Grimms reaction in Cody. Hilarious!
But its sucks he doesn't kosten to Rhonda. Has he forgotten the warning of the Great Bear Spirit already?
| Guest chapter 9 . 6/5
Are you writing flashbacks in this story. For example Grimms time at Yamanouchi
| Librana chapter 9 . 6/1
An intriguing chapter, with our antiheroes being drawn further and further into the mystery, and Maze popping up to tempt them? tease them? misdirect them?
One of the best things about this story is the way you have taken your set of original characters and really made them three-dimensional. You've obviously been doing this with Grimm, Rhonda and Jade for several stories already, but the absence of any canon KP characters in this story has given you the space to really push them into new places. And it has allowed you to build up the supporting cast as living, breathing people with motivations for their actions. This is not really a KP fanfic any more, more a completely original story set somewhere in the KPverse, with your own set of characters who really come to life. You only need to take one further step to become an original fiction writer if you chose to.
Looking at some previous reviews, I note your comment that you are having to work very hard to keep this one consistent with canon. I can see that the main issue is going to be that in canon, there is no suggestion of any other invasion craft than the one brought down by Ron. Making this story a CIA op does at least give you a logical basis for concealing from the world community the actions of Team Probable and associates - it is the fate of special forces never to receive public recognition for their activities. But you are either going to have to somehow suppress any knowledge of a global invasion attempt from the public or we have to assume that the UN presentations in canon were only one of several ceremonies recognising heroic actions across the globe. Or - which I suspect will be the case - some sort of actions by Team Probable (and especially Rhonda) which disperse or deter the threat before it actually arrives, bar one solitary craft. Whatever you end up doing, I would urge you to take the time necessary to ensure no loose ends are left, even if real life means an extended wait for the remaining chapters (real life has been playing havoc with my own writing, though I will finish United and Divided this year whatever happens!)
On a more mundane note, I love the side-stories about Jade's crush and the potential rivals for Josh's undeserved attention, Rhonda's native American suitor and Grimm's lack of insight into Rhonda's state of mind. Somehow, Grimm must find a way of dealing with the external threat while following a new path with Rhonda. Failure in either mission will spell disaster for him, in one way or another.
Good luck with Chapter 10!
| Gippo chapter 9 . 5/29
| ChaotixController chapter 9 . 5/27
that's alright, you could always make your pictures after you're done with the story maybe re-read the final product from beginning to end. it gets me inspired in stuff at times. in any case welcome back and nice job this is getting real good and I can already tell this is about to get messy. I look forward to seeing more however long it takes
| rogerdavis11 chapter 9 . 5/27
Yes, you have updated!
Thank you so much!
The split between Rhonda and Grimm has taken form. In later chapters, maybe you could let the Great Bear Spirit show Grimm his past, present and possible futures. A bit like Kim with the Mystic Monkey and A Christmas Carol.
| Luke Danger chapter 9 . 5/26
The Council. Never. LISTENS.
Whether it's the WSC, the Citadel Council, Republic City, or the Blackfoot Tribe, the council never does their job.
Mind, in fairness after the debate was over they never got the chance to, but ah well. It was no Council of Elrond, but then again we don't need chapters of infodump, so that's good.
Rhonda being awkward as all hell about being treated as a religious figure is great though; I mean, it would be as awkward as being caught naked with your significant other at the prom in front of everyone. I think it might be good to address that in later detail, maybe have Rhonda incessantly debunk she's some sort of messiah or whatever, she's just the girl who got loaded up with supernatural powers. Maybe even have her and the Great Bear Spirit discuss it at some point.
I have to say though, Maze is good at manipulation. I think he and Grimm actually have a lot in common, and it feels like you're exploring just how similar they are. I mean, in a way they really are opposites. Both have a lot of pride, arrogance, and self-importance. Both are manipulators and attribute the worst traits to their foes or those they dislike (Maze treated Rhonda as little more than a bumbler and ignored the GSB basically giving him a blunt explanation of matters, Grimm assumed the worst of Kim in regards to MMP when there were several perfectly rational explanations like maybe Ron didn't want to or couldn't learn), both prefer to work from the shadows (literally, in Maze's case), and both take quite the fall. Grimm hasn't hit it yet, but it does feel like he's taking an Anakin Skywalker.
Speaking of Vader, I'm really getting that vibe from Grimm. That is, he seems like he's going down the same kind of path. Not to the Dark Side - he's lived in it happily, but going from affable (or at least able to pass as affably evil) to downright nasty. I mean, blowing off Rhonda, getting super absorbed into the jobs even when Rhonda isn't interested, etc. Though he certainly is overprotective of Rhonda, but given that guys are really going for her I don't blame him for that: perfectly understandable, as long as he recognizes that if Rhonda wants to end it, he has to accept it. If Rhonda does want to split ways, I think Grimm's reactions from there will really determine who he becomes.
As for the lack of fan art - that's okay, getting the story is probably the bigger thing and RL takes absolute priority. I mean, I'd love to do art of my own stuff, but that's secondary to the story. OCs in art are just pics. A story can actually make them decent.
Either way, it does seem like things are completely underfoot. Though unlike some reviewers, I figure Team Probable "helping instigate the invasion" is probably more along the lines of "trick them into doing stuff that allows it", like how he's tracking Drakken via Rhonda's investigation. Or maybe sets it up so Grimm compromises some key part of Global Justice's satellite network so they don't pick up cruisers hanging in orbit in time to do something about it
| BrotherBear chapter 9 . 5/26
Yes, yes, yes!
Thank you so much for updating!
| Z-King chapter 9 . 5/25
How long before the alien's come? oh the humanity!
| Eddy13 chapter 9 . 5/25
Gotta say, it was pretty nice that this chapter was posted on my birthday, however, due to spending time with my father, I wasn't able to read it till now. Looks like Jade has something mysterious going for her with that horse. I'm a little surprised that Grimm was so quick to dismiss Rhonda's ideas, as well as the fact that there seems to be rift growing between them. I gotta say, I had a feeling the Blackfoot version of Yori would be named Corey. Pretty clever of Maze using Team Probable to locate Drakken. However, I still don't know how he's going to use Team Probable to instigate the Lorwardian invasion. Of course, I can only imagine how they're going to react when the attack begins. Considering everyone on the planet had a 'Ron' moment (i.e caught with their pants down), I'm betting they're going to be as shocked as everyone else.
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/25
The title of the next chapter is Diverging Paths. Could you give a hint what is going to happing in the next chapter.
BTW this chapter rocks#. Im so glad you have updated
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/25
Grimm is so focused on the mission that he is dismissing and slightly neglecting Rhonda. Seems the prophecy of The Great Bear Spirit is unraffeling. I hope they stay a couple.
| divergent0o5 chapter 9 . 5/25
Thanks for the update. You have no idea how much ive wanted to read this.
Ive got a question. Could you say when you update next?
Coming back to the chapter.
It is funny, good writing and continues with telling the story.
You notice that there is a change between Rhonda and Grimm. Rhonda isnt independent on Grimm anymore and Grimm treats Rhonda less than in the other stories and chapters. That is something I dont understand, but it isnt winning him any favors by Rhonda.
By, cant wait for more!
| riseofpie chapter 9 . 5/24
Great chap. You really notice there are soms trouble (coming) between Grimm and Rhonda.