|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Knowledge of the Zlam|
| Mirage chapter 1 . 11/15/2011
I'm stopping here. It's understandable when a fanfic doesn't match with the original story, in tone, character, intention. Nonetheless, with a bit of thought and care one can write well written stories where the characters are recognisable and true to the original.
Kudos for having the wish, the idea and the determination to write and complete four fanfics. That's really a big achievement - just look at all the abandoned fanfics to see how few writers manage to finish their stories.
So why will I not finish reading your fanfics?
There are plenty of minor details in HP and the Secret of the Blood and HP and the Knowledge of the Zlam which are wrong twist the characters.
That Harry refers to Professor Snape as Snape only, when talking to Professor Dumbledore is something we know from the books.
The standard reaction to this, from Professor Dumbledore is always: "Professor Snape, Harry." Never, not even once does Professor Dumbledore allow this disrespect and not even once does he refer to Professor Snape as "Snape".
That's just one example.
There are shapeshifters in your stories. I've never seen shapeshifters before, in a HP ff, so I was quite exited what you would do with them. Due to their nature they can bring lots of excitement and mystery to a story.
Which is why I was so surprised to see that the only reaction to them was that Harry was begged to not wander off alone.
There are teachers, there are students other then Harry and they all are allowed to go by themselfs - no security precautions taken, no passwords exchanged to make sure that everyone is indeed who he seems to be, no warnings to the studentbody.
Yes, their main target is Harry, but imagine how much damage the shapeshifters could do to the wizarding world besides trying to kidnap Harry.
I feel like you discovered a huge treasure but you only take 2 coins from it - why? I realize that writing, even when one already know where the story is going, can be tedious.
It's sad to such a good element wasted.
Sirius - I admit, that I don't remember much about him from reading the books. If he behaved in the books like he behaves in your story, always trying to pick a fight, prejudisced up to his eyeballs then I have to say I can understand why Dumbledore didn't allow him to leave Grimmauld Place.
People with such an attitude and unablitiy to let bygone be bygone are difficult to work with and not the best advertisement for anything.
I realize that Severus is behaving a lot like Sirius - but at least Severus is indispensable thanks to his work as teacher, head of house and spy.
Really, just think how things would be in real life - people wouldn't be inclined to put up with someone like (your) Sirius, because they have nothing to gain from him. Yes, they too would think that Severus is someone one doesn't want to spend too much time with, but at least they would tolerate him, thanks to his job and his work as spy.
I'm not too surprised by Minister Fudge's behaviour, or this of the other ministry members. It's very much in canon.
What I don't like, and I wonder where this originates from, is Harrys inability to understand that it is not his fault that Voldemort is a psychopath. While Harry does feel guilty for Cedrics and Sirius deaths in the books, did he ever feel this responsible for every single thing Voldemort and his deatheaters did?
It's something I cannot understand, it might not even have to do with your story. Voldemort and his deatheaters wouldn't be half as successful if only everyone would realize that it's everyones task to oppose and fight them. They reap what they sow. They don't want to care, they don't want to know, no wonder that Voldi has such an easy game to strike fear and terror in the wizarding world.
To rely on a child/teenager for protection is laughable. One wonders, what would they do, if it turns out that only their daughter/son would be able to finish of Voldemort.
In essence, they are all as guilty as Voldemort and his deatheaters for all the deaths and terror. And someone should tell this to Harry. Because if there is one thing I cannot stand it's a person who wallows in self misery because he doesn't want to see the bigger picture. It's only because Harry is still alive, that Voldemort hasn't taken over completely.
Now I realize I don't know whether you implemented the prophecy in your story, but you didn't imply otherwise, and it was already plain to see in the first four books that Voldemort is more then anything interested in killing Harry, that he's so focused on this single boy that Harry seems to be everything that stands between Voldemort and world domination.
Another thing I do not like is the inability of your Harry to learn to stick to the rules. It either speaks of a carefreelessness which borders on stupidity or of overestimation of his abilities. Again and again he was told to not wander off alone. And bang - what does he do? Wanders off alone to follow Ginny.
This doesn't speak of trustworthyness and quite frankly, if the teachers ever learn of this then the responsible reaction to this would be to give Harry curfew and to make sure that he is always, always chaperoned by a teacher and if it's only for going to the loo.
But then, teachers in your story are somewhat... well, I don't know. Asking a student whether he thinks going to Hogsmeade is wise and then allowing him to do so? Even though one knows it could be dangerous?
And that reminds me - so Harry stays at Hogwarts over summer - another thing which I found to be very exciting at first. Only to learn that not much happened, other then Corfay. One would think that with having the run of the school one would go explore, even if all class rooms are locked.
And if there are no other teachers or students around - why does one allow a minor to live basically on his own, far far away from his own rooms? Aren't there some guest rooms closer to Dumbledores rooms where Harry could have stayed? For easier supervision and especially for company?
And while I'm at it, why is your Hogwarts as open as a sieve? Nagini, Zlams, Fudge, shapeshifters, Death Eeaters... I thought Hogwarts was one of the safest place in the wizarding world. What makes it so safe? Why are there no wards in place which at least alerts teachers to the presence of intruders?
Heck, anyone could wander in, grab a child and leave, unnoticed.
Imagine something like this happening at a muggle boarding school. The parents would be in uproar, heads would roll.
I stopped reading this story when Dumbledore told Harry that he will teach him the Unforgivables. The Unforgivables are forbidden, remember, in the book the fake Moody needed a writ saying that he was allowed to show the curses to his students. I cannot think of anything that would allow a teacher to actually teach them to students.
It's just too unbelievable. And having read so far, I fear that you will not have Harry learn the curses for nothing. You will make him have to use one or more of the curses.
A fifteen year old, with nearly no guidance by his elders, with no selfrestrainment, who's unable to follow rules, who thinks it's his task to protect everyone else... and you equip him with one the mightiest weapons the wizarding world has - the Unforgivables. It simply smells of desaster. But of course, Harry being Harry, he would go unpunished for it... at least in your story. Or not?
And that, for me, was the last straw. I say it again, I realize how much it takes to start and actually finish a story. You managed to complete four stories. I realize that one sometimes has to bend characters or change things from canon.
But everything together, with the Unforgivables... it's too much. The end doesn't justify the means and sometimes writing means that one has to think longer and harder to make things plausible. The art of writing isn't that one can start and finish a book, it's about how plausible it is. How well one uses what one has. Characters, canon, fantasy.
| EmmaRandomAs chapter 6 . 6/27/2010
awesome story! absolutely love it! congrats on a job well done!
| Bridgette Carter chapter 6 . 8/10/2007
Awesome! Loved the ending! Good work! :D
| Bridgette Carter chapter 5 . 8/10/2007
That was awesome! Loved it! Nice Cliff-Hanger! :D
| Bridgette Carter chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
Awesome First chapter. Only problem, Nagini is a FEMALE Snake. Thought you outta know
| Bar00n chapter 6 . 12/8/2006
Ok, I can see why you stopped to write at this point, and I just want to know if you have given up on this story? It's kind of nice of the author to leave a notice in that case...
| Bar00n chapter 3 . 12/8/2006
Exellent story, why haven't you updated?
| jbfritz chapter 6 . 11/27/2006
Great story! Please post more soon!
| AngelMoon Girl chapter 6 . 3/31/2006
OMG I love this stroy- so suspenseful! :)
| TzeMike chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
I stubmled upon this story a while back, when I was searching for long fics, with little reviews. I will read it now, and I hope it will be read by more people in the future, because it looks rather good.
| smilingbella chapter 1 . 12/26/2004
| someone you don't know chapter 1 . 6/8/2004
THAT IS ONE LONG CHAPTER!
| rhoffmanjr chapter 1 . 12/27/2002
Very, very good! I don't know why you don't have that many reviews. I am starting the next one now.
| rodhrrypttraol.com chapter 1 . 12/10/2002
still going strong, most excellent
| Lord Amber chapter 1 . 9/1/2002
Could you please do something about the length? It is hard to read when it isn't split into chapters Thanx