|Reviews for Following Fate|
| Ms.Bloodmoon chapter 74 . 5/18/2014
I seriously cannot say Enough amazing, spectacular things about this story! Your writing is beautiful, stunning, and just well, perfect! I had a hard time stopping myself from reading it and thus almost be late for work.
Thank you for sharing your lovely story with everyone!
| Kira Kyuu chapter 74 . 3/6/2014
I. . . I think this is my favorite Dragon Age story that I have ever read. I mean - What you have done with the Qunari and Hawke - and her crew - is just. . . Wow.
Thanks so much for this. As this is complete, would it be safe to assume there is sequel? Or is it merely left open-ended like this? :3
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 74 . 1/18/2014
Interesting twist. Sebastian is...well, frankly difficult to like for me unless one puts some substantial spin on his character from canon. Hypocritical zealots, however well meaning, often are.
There seems to be a very large concern over darkspawn, though, for it being post blight an even post thaw. Or is that meant to be largely a pretext? Or will the next installment feature more d them? I look forward to finding out:)
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 70 . 1/18/2014
I confess some wry, unsurprised amusement to read a national leader sneering at the internal squabbles of other nations...less than a year after an Arishok was deposed and killed in disgrace;)
As for the Chantry, it's interesting and provincial that Hawke's defense of the Qunarj is to say 'the Chantry is worse' (though ask a Tal Vashoth).
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 68 . 1/18/2014
Very, very nicely done fight/ongoing battle scene. The pacing and tension were quite enjoyable to read:)
Interesting notion, dragons loathing darkspawn out of a specific, aware antagonism. If drafons are intelligent and aware of history, they surely would. Fun to see Sten of Ferelden get some dues:) I wonder if/when the speaking darkspawn will be revealed? The Architect, let free by the Warden? Or an escaped subordinate I wonder?
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 65 . 1/18/2014
Hrm. I think that this is likely the first time I've a serious criticism on the grounds of character portrayal rathe than societal framework, though admittedly there may be a backstory explanation for this as well.
It's baffling and seems very unlikely-and I mean that from within the framework of this story, as she has been portrayed thus far-that Marian would shrug off her involuntary isolation and gender segregation with an 'I'm not sure about the cloistering yet'. The Champion of Kirkwall accepts the authority of others to tell her how she will manage her own pregnancy? Has she yielded up her personhood to such an extent? It hasn't seemed so prior to this point. There's also no mention that Hawke is aware of or even knows about the very real danger this pregnancy poses to her. And all of this on the eve of war? Hawke would permit kind smiles and stern admonishings prevent her from lending her rather huge martial and leadership skills in a deadly battle in which a sizable portion of all of her remaining friends and loved ones will fight? To play nursemaid to the collective's children? *That* is what Hawke would believe best serves the Qun?
I suppose the heart of this (again hopefully) constructive criticism is this: earlier in the story, reeling and devastated by successive tragedies and huge sacrifices that yielded little gain or even major losses, Hawke'd headlong flight into the Qun made sense. People convert for such reasons all the fme, after all. But Hawke has had time to steady out quite a bit emotionally and psychologically now. Unless her solution to her past suffering is to literally throw away her own drive and ambition in service (submission, let's call it what it is) to the Qun, I can't envision this Marian Hawke accepting such a subordinate status to her lover, and to others. More and more she lets others speak for her, and *about* her. She appears completely unconcerned about anything the Qun might do to her or about her. Mind control gas? Selection for deadly pregnancy? Isolation for nearly a year on the brink of war? Compulsory separation from friends and lovers?
Anyway. I'm still reading and still quite interested, obviously. And I'm looking forward to how you'll weave this story into the larger Thedas universe, and all the twists and turns that will entail. I suppose I simply have to strain my suspension of disbelief to see Hawke so submissive and accepting, and wish she would cowgirl up and start shaking things up!
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 61 . 1/18/2014
Well, the attraction has long been mutual of course. As a story between two people it's well told and enjoyable, that nascent romance:)
I can't recall, though-was Marian ever informed specifically of the dangers of interspecies reproduction? That she is risking a death that if it happens will not only not be officially regretted, but sanctioned as 'weakness' leaving the Qun while being still 'honored' for it?
It's a good thing you explained that Taarebas has had his eyes open somewhat, or else I would be seriously baffled at how these things are posed as good by anyone in the story, heh.
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 60 . 1/18/2014
Well, now, and I suppose it will be a test for how thoroughly Marian embraces her new faith, her reaction to being chosen to risk death in pregnancy for the betterment of the Qun-as though that would be her chief virtue. It's a bit...alarming that neither Taarebas or the Ariqun appeared to discuss whether or not Marian had a say in the choice. But the festival hasn't happened yet.
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 59 . 1/18/2014
I'm curious how the Qunari managed to recreate the Grey Warden Joining techniques without Archdemon blood, and at such a fast pace. To be clear, not a criticism when I ask if you knew that was a component when you wrote it?
Anyway, I do admire your willingness to continue to portray the Qunari's...pragmatism when it comes to medical experiments on prisoners of war. Though again, it's not surprising that Asari takes a vengeful self-righteous angle because after all, it can hardly be said that non-mage Tevinter soldiers are all going to be *volunteers*. Had things been a bit different, it could have been Leto that became Fenris, tortured to death by Blight sickness...to discover a cure that already exists, were the Qunari to ask.
Conceptually though, an independent Qunari Grey Warden order is fascinating. Perhaps someday they would admit Saarebas as well, and allow them a chance to claw their way up out of slavery;)
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 54 . 1/18/2014
I find myself strangely agreeing with the dishonored Arishok's views on his predecessor. In search of a book, he permitted his people to be deprived of a third of their primary authority and guidance while they were under constant threat of Tevinter aggression. For years, no less. There is a serious dysfunction there, but it does tie in plausibly with broader Qunari culture and a supposed rejection of the impractical but a reverence for material objects.
As for the past Arishok's virtues of tolerance...well. His was a large, dangerous war party from an unfriendly power that arrived uninvited and remained for years under false pretenses ('waiting for a ship') *inside* the city. The Arishok cannot have been ignorant of what a provocation that was to Kirkwall, not entirely. It does seem though an appropriately religious presumption to force oneself where one isn't wanted, and then expect praise for not putting the home of you unwilling host to the sword.
But please bear in mind, much of this is criticism posed to a system you didn't create. You're working from foundations the canon estsblisjed. I suppose I just wish for a Tal-Vashoth Asari, to serve as a qunari contrarian;)
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 53 . 1/18/2014
Good fight, as a good blend of action and inward philosophy mingled in. Though constructively, the Arishok could really do with an actual reason to have engaged in so much blood soaked treachery, beyond simply 'corrupted by bas', as this degree is rather high for anyone!
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 52 . 1/18/2014
It's...kind of appalling to see Isabella-and Varric too, but particularly Isabella-being compelled into the Qun. I admit that this portrayal seems the most unlikely and implausible yet seen, even as unlikely as wearing dark spawn blood-and for that you had a good explanation. Anyway, I just can't imagine her acknowledging her own status as a Qunari in private conversation with a trusted friend. It implies acceptance, and while yes, freedom is an idea, it's...rather an important one to Isabella. Asari might jus as well remark that captivity and submission are likewise both just ideas, and as ideas are not inferior to freedom. Loyalty and guilt, too, are both just ideas but out of a sense of both now she'll be condemned as a thief by the Qunari again.
Fascinating idea about a new Arishok, corrupted by time so long outside broader Qunari society. It would seem he was really most seriously corrupted, to be bartering away colonies and whole regions to the Tevinters.
I confess to wondering if Saarebas will ever make a prominent appearance in this story. I like this Hawke, so that wonder is tinged with dread as I can easily imagine her being stoically accepting when she sees one-or perhaps from a storytelling perspective, worried because it wil be portrayed in an unambiguously positive light, or offered up from an indoctrinated viewpoint and unchallenged (such as 'all have a choice, but makes are brutes we take care not to train to think'; or 'trust in the Qun as it is concerned for the welfare of the whole, but do not expect to be give. trust or respect in return, for it will interrogate you under mind control gas without informing you'; or 'your friends shall be protected and not accosted, but they will be given the 'choice' to accept a role within the Qun, and will of course accept it').
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 45 . 1/17/2014
Wow. Well it's certainly in keeping with your stance that the Qunari are people, with flaws and internal blind spots and hypocrisies and virtues and strengths just like everyone else, but...Hawke was just interrogated not only dishonestly, using a trick, but a trick that saps the will and loosens the tongue.
If the Ariqun had used a blood mage and compelled Hawke to speak truths without giving trust in return using magic, functionally it would have been no different. I do wonder if *this* will suffice to permit Hawke to see past her desperate need for purpose and a lack of chaos, which the Qun does provide, ad start to see problems?
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 36 . 1/17/2014
Well, this is a plausible explanation for Asari's seeming radical liberalism, to outsiders at least. Solid storytelling there, to give that a reason in her story.
That said, I'm tearin' my figurative hair out wishing there was a Loghain or a Zevran at hand to say, 'Lots of freedom and differing interpretations for those you admit you train not to think and focus on obedience, eh?' Or to ask 'what benefit is served to the many if portions of the whole are sacrificed and irretrievably lost in pursuit of material, replaceable equipment?'
I don't criticize your writing or any of the characters for not mentioning these things, mind. Asari and Taarebas are after all *thoroughly* indoctrinated into their culture. Perhaps I wish Sten of Ferelden might make an appearance, and have his unique perspective challenge the orthodoxy posed by the faithful shown thus far.
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 32 . 1/17/2014
Errr. This simply cries out for remark: the Qun demands they wear the deadly, poisonous blood of their enemies *on their skin*, risking Taint and ghoul-dom with every passing second and not just every fight? This after apparently having the information of Sten of Ferelden?
That's...nuts. That is deranged. Why would try do that? How are there any of them left to fight?