Reviews for Unwanted or Unheard
george chapter 16 . 4/11/2013
I loved the first 15 chapters. But then u started talking about destruction and chaos and some milatairy bullshit and then I got lost in the story and over time...borred. So keep to the romance. It was good. But stay away from the guns and war and shit.
The Unknowing Herald chapter 24 . 12/12/2012
Okay. A lot to go through here but here we go.

I read this is a day or two and I've got a lot of thoughts about it. First thing's first, I liked it. There are things that bothered me, but it was all around enjoyable read.

For the things that I liked:

The Anti-Sora arc in itself was awesome. I can't really point out anything wrong with the first part of the story.

Sora. He developed in a good way around the story, so did Kairi, but that feeds into a problem that I found here.

The secondary characters are good to read, mostly. BUT the second greatest problem comes with them. I'll get to that in a bit. Aeon was a good vilain, not the best one, BUT I can tell this is a saga and I DID empathise with him slightly so that's a positive thing. Anti-Sora is just... pure... complete... awesome. Nothing more can be said about him but that. He's evil because he likes it, no strings attached.

Last but not least: The fight scenes. They are the highlight of the story by far. Some stretch on a little too long, but they never get boring or anything. Considering I'm mostly proud of my fight scenes too... this is a major compliment from me.

Now, for my gripes:

Kairi just learned to fight too quickly. You don't learn all that stuff in a day. Minor complaint, but yes, that's what i wanted to como across.

Two. Half of the secondary characters just vanished on the second half. I know they didn't know how to fight, but you didn't have to cut them out. You could have given us scenes with them, how they escaped and such. Another problem being the marines. This is a KH fanfiction. You have HUNDREDS of people that fit in here. One OC or two is good, but NONE of the marines are from the KH cast, FF cast or even Disney. This led to their sections being confusing as they were not recognizable enough. Hell, only Xintas really sunk in.

And three. The plot just went haywire halfway in. It was not so much as it being confusing, but how it was almost non-existant and/or padding for and in the fight scenes. The last 8 chapters barely had any plot compared to the 16 before. The last two picked up again, but again, I felt like the marines took up too much space and that, in general, the war could have been sumarized better.
The core plot is fine, and interesting enough for me to want to go read the sequel once I get some rest and concot this all into my head, I just felt it dissolved a little TOO much into the fighting.
The Nuke had a great impact however.

All-in-all, there were some flaws with the second part of the story, but taking my critic glasses off, this was a very, very good story, especially since we don't see all that many adventure stories in KH. The romance was good too, but as you noted, it kinda vanished and made a comeback, but it was good eitherway.

Don't take this the wrong way, I loved the story, I just want to point out stuff to make the sequel better.

On a sidenote, would you be offended if I took that "Sora is a great cook" idea and used it on my story? I liked it a lot for setting up the relationship.
Original Heartless chapter 24 . 11/27/2012
Great story man! Especially the fights, epic! I like how you went from regular high-school fic to this awesome original story. I'm wondering if you know any good beta-readers, your making me want to restart my original KH fic, that I sadly deleted because I only did a few suckish chapters.
Guest chapter 14 . 11/14/2012
Sora: ...the fuck are you talking about...
Sora: ...Okay, A. i just woke up, B. it's a story J, ''re guilty of sex in one of thou stories too.
MOI: Yea that's true...sorry for wakin' you up...
(walks out of room)
(sora goes back to sleep)
jocelyn chapter 11 . 11/14/2012
FUCK YOU WINTERS! omg i fell out of my chair
Agent Smarties chapter 10 . 11/14/2012
wait...your a guy?...usually authors are chix
jocelyn chapter 9 . 11/14/2012
ME: dare you...get over here boy. I'm gonna make you get raped by your f**king father in my story!
Sora: NOOOOO...your just kidding right?
ME: You bet your sexy ass...
Idk i do that now...
jocelyn chapter 7 . 11/14/2012
hahahahahahahahha i LOVE you!
Vendorz chapter 24 . 11/13/2012
Just finished the story. Where is the sequel!?
TheRevSirDrProfMan chapter 24 . 11/11/2012
Ffffffffffffffffuck. That was an epic ride! I would've thought Kairi would be a bit more inquisitive of Sora's "death" but regardless, you've got me hooked for round two!
LuceteStellae chapter 24 . 11/11/2012
I love all the little references I find in your story!
I'm excited for the sequel can't wait :3
Guest chapter 23 . 11/9/2012
Good fight scenes. Well keep on writing and God bless! Oh and it will defiantly be interesting to see how you wrap this up.
Stargazer 225 chapter 23 . 11/3/2012
Wow dude. Just wow. It took me 3 days to read from the first to the 23rd chapter. It. Is. EPIC! From a great love story to a whole new awesome-action-packed-EPIC story! 1 question: when sora first change into Anti-Sora, he said 'just this once' (I think, I can't remember what chapter it is). That means he already used it before. That also means that he was suppose to wake anti-sora from his deep slumber and making sora notice that he has a light and dark side. How come he doesn't know anything at all?
Justiec chapter 23 . 10/22/2012
Love it! I think your writing has improved a lot since the first chapter, too. :)
LuceteStellae chapter 23 . 10/21/2012
Awesome chapter! It's sad that the story is over, but I hope you do make a sequel!

And yes, you have made me laugh on many ocassions (I really liked the bro code thing. How I met your mother is an awesome show)

Can't wait for the next chapter!
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