|Reviews for Daybreak: Part I|
| Runadaemon chapter 32 . 6/21
On the one hand, Awww, I wanted to read to the conclusion of this epic story. On the other, I understand the thirst to prove yourself and make a mark, whether by publishing novels or otherwise. I really enjoyed reading your stories and can't believe I put off reading it for some long (You've been a bookmark for at least the last 3 months). You have lots of talent, so thanks for writing, and I may give Glasswings a try.
| TangyCitrus chapter 3 . 6/20
Oh my god, you killed Iruka! D: that is just...well it made me cry! Especially afterward at his funeral and the pictures of him and Naruto. Aw man, I dont think I can handle another chapter right now, not to mention I've been reading nonstop and have to go to sleep now, but wow. The things that have happened so far and it's only the third chapter. Makes me apprehensive but also curious and determined for the rest; all the more so because of your warning about things like this happening. I hope not too many of my loved characters die by the end though.
Thanks again, even for the tears.
Take care and have fun!
| TangyCitrus chapter 2 . 6/20
Hmm, first look at their family life and it was good to see things have changed for the better, there's lots of love between them, but something's still missing, isn't here? Hopefully whatever void there is gets filled and that it doesn't tear or break something.
| TangyCitrus chapter 1 . 6/20
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! This sequel's already starting off nicely and I can't wait to see what's in store! Also, The way kakashi talks and his mannerisms are pretty weird, OOC, and make me laugh. It's not a bad thing nor do I dislike it per se, it's just different and might take a bit of getting used to.
Thank you for writing and sharing this!
Take care and have fun!
| Runadaemon chapter 3 . 6/19
NOOOOO! Not Iruka! Damn, I held it together til she said that he decided he loved naruto more than he feared death... You're cruel. Very very good, but cruel.
| Reader chapter 32 . 6/6
Phew.. that had been one heck of a ride. Aside from a very few beefs I had with this fic, the story had been mostly well written. You did a great job building up Danzo as the ultimate scumbag they need to defeat. He certainly gained a doctorate in villainy under your pen. This Danzo is more hateable but scarily competent that the canon one. Hope Itachi is the one to finally off him for good.
| Reader chapter 31 . 6/6
So many twists and turns. And having Sakumo Hatake as one of the first reincarnated dead they face was brilliant. You make good use of characters that only appeared a few chapters in the entire manga series. Mikoto was your best example.
| Reader chapter 19 . 6/6
Finally, they made up! Still don't like that Naruto feels he's the one owed an apology and didn't even have apologize for overreacting after the "kiss and betrayal". But at least it's done with and I can move on with the story. If this had continued on, I would have ditched this story.
On the side note, making Sasori and Orochimaru as bffs was certainly interesting as well as moving the chunin test to Suna, even though it lengthened this arc considerably. Making these changes to canon have been great ideas and their reasonings were well thought out to so kudos.
| Disgruntled Read chapter 13 . 6/6
Honestly, I can't see why Naruto feels so betrayed , he loves Sakura for ages but Sakura has loved Sasuke for ages too, probably longer than Naruto's own crush on her. And pinning the blame on Sasuke?What a brother, choosing a ho over a bro. Contrary to what both Sakura and Naruto both think, Sasuke is the victim here. He got kissed and got almost killed by it. Sure, he was a jerk for that horrid rejection afterwards and his immaturity in dealing with that "kiss" , but honestly, Sakura has been pestering him with unwanted advances all this time. His response was right, now is so not the time. Also, Naruto has no right to choose who Sakura falls in love with. Just because sasuke promised him not to go for her, guy can't help when he was just suddenly kissed by her. And then cry baby Naruto had to see it. If this was reverse and Sasuke was the girl and Sakura the guy, Sakura would so be a creep. But because of double standard, sasuke is the one who gets punched instead, even though he's the one who keeps getting harassed. Bleh. I really love your One Small Kindness fic, and this one has been good so far, although, not up to par with your first work. But this incident feels so contrived just to split up the team that it makes me hate Naruto and angry at Itachi for casting the blame for the "kiss and betrayal of Naruto" on Sakura and Sasuke while Naruto gets a scolding only for being "compassionate" towards the enemy but not for being an arse to his own team. Sheesh. This is what I call favouritism. And Naruto escapes this incident being the one "who did no wrong" , except for being too kind to his enemies, even though he almost got sasuke killed and showed his sense of entitledment to have Sakura, without regards to her already having an existing crush. Getting mad at Sasuke, just because Naruto already had "dibs" on the girl and was promised by Sasuke, and said girl kissed Sasuke instead..Sheesh. what a brat.
| B0R3DBL0GG3R chapter 32 . 5/27
This was such a heavy read. And I honestly did not expect to have Sakura ask Tsunade about that.
| Riku chapter 1 . 5/6
I'm not the best at reviews. But I liked the story very much.
In my opinion all the characters were portrayed fairly well, except for Itachi.
For all the strength he supposedly had in this fic, none of it is really shown. He doesn't even seem to be able to kill any opponents alone. Also, he hardly seems to use any of the jutsu he has in canon, like the crow clones. I'm not sure if you wanted it that way or not. But it just makes Itachi seem... Flimsy. Unlike what is supposedly said about him being so strong.
Anyway, it was a good read. Great pacing too. If you ever do a part 2, perhaps you could fix a few of these character... Misconceptions?
| Guest chapter 32 . 4/20
I enjoyed this Fic very much. You clearly have a good grasp on storytelling and decent, if not perfect, pacing.
I found this story much more readable than A Small Kindness; mainly because Mikoto's Mary Sue-ish traits grated on me. Your Team 7 was excellent. Their interactions were extremely readable and believable. That's this work's strongest point imo.
Sasuke in particular was well done; much more bearable as a person than in canon, but still slightly troubled with a lurking darkness. Sakura was handled well. I liked her POV, you did a good job showing her as an analytical yet emotional young girl. Naruto definitely is the weak link here story wise. Though this obviously fits the canon, his tendency to try to turn his enemies(and succeed at doing so) through talk just seems contrived.
Your Itachi confuses me. On one hand, he's clearly a stronger and more stable person emotionally here than in canon. However, he seems to have learned nothing from his experiences in One Small Kindness or throughout this story.
Despite being shown that going it alone and not seeking help do not work he just continues to do so. He doesn't really seem to learn anything. I still don't think I understand the not getting treatment for tuberculosis thing. Was he unaware of what it was until after the Chunin Exams and couldn't risk looking weaker? Or was it just blind pride from the beginning?
Plus he also never seems to actually win anything. For as strong as Itachi supposedly is in this fic I don't think he once outright beats a named opponent. It sort of comes off as an informed attribute.
The overall world is interesting. A softer Akatsuki makes sense sans-Madara. Not sure why Nagato's quite so humble though. Kisame as a Kage is awesome and I'm bummed we probably won't see it.
Danzo and Orochimaru are great villains who capture the different natures of evil well. Really like how they're written.
Overall this is a really good Fic. Shame it seems you wont be doing the sequel. I hope you change your mind.
| Shebali chapter 32 . 4/10
Oh dear. Where do I even start.
I'm so, so greatful you finished this arc. If the first story was great the sequel is nothing short of amazing and I'm so glad I got to read it.
I'm not good with reviews. Part of it is language issues, but mostly it's psychological. I'm sure I'd have trouble putting my thoughts in words even if I was using my native language. Even so, I feel obliged to try.
You made me care for characters, and the plot was full of surprises and I love how differently things developed. You made me laugh and you made me cry and you made me stay up so late it was early just to see what happened next. And that's what I want from stories I read.
Do I expect a sequel? No. Do I hope for it? Hell yeah. Of course with you writing professionally it's unlikely. Even so, hope springs eternal. However things go, I wish you well. If you write more I'll be here to read it. Thank you so much for your work.
| Ar-Pharazon - King of Numenor chapter 32 . 3/23
I am in love with this story and I am sad that you are unable to continue this story. I really love how you explored every facet of the repercussions this AU wil have, something very rare in a fanfic writer.
I would like to try my hand at Daybreak Part II. I would appreciate the challenge to continuing someone else's work.
| Raeshi chapter 32 . 3/11
Great story. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck with your original stories. Maybe one day you will complete the series or write the ending for your characters. I can hope anyway.