Reviews for Daybreak: Part I |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I just finished reading this story. I'm very sad that the series will remain incomplete, but I'm still grateful for all your hard work. I know it's been a few years, but I wish you good luck in all your future projects. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This series was a delight. Thank you so much for writing these two fics. And congratualtions on your career! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well done with this chapter and please update soon. |
![]() ![]() I think that the greater Pain arc (including Jiraiya's infiltration and defeat) is the absolute pinnacle of the canon narrative, and that the "they were pawns all along!" plot twist only cheapens its achievement. But using the canon twist to double back, make your own plot twist, and revisit the Akatsuki's original ideals is excellent behind the scenes plotting. Very satisfying. |
![]() ![]() I'm not sure it's necessarily *bad*, but one of the strangest things in this story is that Naruto's so little changed from canon. Sure, he talks about "having a family that took him in" when trying to corral the Nine-Tails, but this is only slightly different reasoning than "I have to protect the village and my friends", and it has the same outcome in every instance. It is, of course, bad to be a child soldier (and Sasuke's fit about "How dare Itachi wish to stop me from becoming as good a 13 year old assassin as he was!" gets an appropriate lampooning) but I think some moderation on his ally-seeking talk-no-justu see-the-best-in-everyone quasi-pacifism would be an appropriate consequence for being raised among the Uchiha. Sasuke especially gets a lot of scenes where Naruto's stronger influence pulls him back from canon temptations; the asymmetry of influence is, I think, too broad here. |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow this is so interesting. sad you won't come back but thanks a lot for the gifts |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story sadly she moved on |
![]() ![]() ![]() I’m gonna stop your story here because you obviously didn’t get all of your information right. I was gonna say in it in your previous story but I’ll just say here, Obito was the one that helped itachi not madara, he was to old and weak to be able to do any of that in the first place, but you wouldn’t know that since you didn’t look. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Lol son of a...I assumed this would have a real ending. What a dang let down. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked it better when it was just Mikoto. Every scene with Naruto so far is just way too cringy. In the end, he's still a child seeking attention |
![]() ![]() ![]() YAAASSS ITACHIII |
![]() ![]() Really well written. If I was going to attempt to adopt it, I'd like to talk with the author concerning his thoughts on the direction it should take. I'm sure they had an idea where and how they wanted it to go - it's a matter of working the various personalities into the mix. So Aketsuki has six bijou, Kumo, two, Danzo, one - the stolen six-tail. Considering Konaha's general ignorance in sealing; After Minato, Jiraya, the Sandame a distant third, Kakashi barely competent... Orochimaru was probably not as skilled as Sandame. Danzo's people may have another hidden fuinjutsu tech that would come out in the next book. Never mind the inevitable confrontation between Naruto, Hinata and their peers in the cannon Konoha-twelve. Then there's the Ryuchi Cave resistance, coming into play. This would be very interesting. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved the story. A true disappointment the story will never be finished. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Three chapters in and you killed one of my favorite characters. How could you hurt my heart like this? |
![]() ![]() ![]() FUCK, this is good. And there isn't any more... but what *is* here is an absolute gift:) Thank you for this wonderful story! |