|Reviews for Pull for Peace|
| lilmiznormal chapter 2 . 10/22/2011
I'm thoroughly excited as to who this mystery oC is chasing. Don't leave me in suspense for too long lol.
| San child of the wolves chapter 2 . 10/21/2011
The guy in the second chapter is my character. I sent him through PM, but you'll see who he is sooner or later.
Anyways good chapter so far, I can't wait to read the rest of it. Also Superfluffball does have some very good constructive criticism.
| superfluffball chapter 2 . 10/21/2011
You should make a note on the contest that you posted the story under a different name. haha. I only found this by accident. After looking at the other OC bios, I can't even tell who this character is. It truly is vague. All I know is that it's a he and maybe a mercenary... Could it be Blade? That sounds kind of like a mercenary name, and that bio was sent through a PM. I feel really stupid, but I guess it could be Milo because he doesn't real care if someone is a mutant or a human; intelligence is what he cares about. Now I'm rambling. Oh well. Update soon and tell us who that character is!
Also, you mixed up your and you're at one point. You might have done this for a reason, but Tug A War should actually be Tug o' War or Tug of War. My elementary school gym teacher used to call it Pull for Peace instead of Tug o' War. :)
Instead of having: "Excellent" The figure behind the curtain answered.
There should be a comma tight before the end quotation mark, and the next word should be lower case when it's somebody said, asked, whispered, yelled, etc., so: "Excellent," the figure behind the curtain answered.
Otherwise, when the following phrase is a different sentence, there should be a period or other punctuation instead of a comma. i.e. "Of course." The man took a seat once more.
| San child of the wolves chapter 1 . 10/21/2011
Oh nice first chapter. I can't wait to see Blade in this story.