|Reviews for That Old Time Renewal|
| King Tarol chapter 8 . 3/23/2012
I haven't reviewed this story yet, but I have been keeping up with it.
I have to say that it's a very interesting story, in that it changes a lot about both canons. In fact, it reminds me of Josh "Sunshine" Temple's fukufic "The Return" in that way. However, this makes me wonder about the value of a fanfic that almost completely overhauls the canon. At that point, it might almost be easier to write it as original fiction.
That's just a minor comment on your style, and doesn't need to change, but I do have a slightly more important question: where do these original characters come from? Between that and the rapid changing of the first two canons in both mechanics and chronology (the latter being rather jumpy in my opinion, but the former making a bit more sense), I find myself somewhat confused.
Ultimately, I think things will make more sense as you write more, but the sooner you do so, the betyer. So keep going; I haven't read a complete fic in this section in years, after all.
| Kaiya Smith chapter 6 . 12/30/2011
An army of miniature Buddha statues... Mini-Me meets clone troopers.
| sin.nighthawk chapter 2 . 11/9/2011
finally sat down and read these and they arnt half bad hope to see more soon
| Jerry Unipeg chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) Poor Ami mother, she well have more shocks when she wake up.
| Narsil chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
Cool, a new chapter, and maybe this world's version of Chibi-Usa? I'm looking forward to finding out.
A couple technical points. First, the "Harvest Season, 1390 P.M. midnight" - you need to write out the "P.M." I'm assuming that's a year, "post 'something'," but when I first read it I thought it was a time. And since it's a term we aren't familiar with it would help if you let us know what it is short for.
Second, you have a strong tendency to use incomplete sentences. That's fine in conversation or when someone is thinking, like Ami's mother in the last paragraph from her POV (the thinking, not the sentence fragments), but it doesn't work as narrative except occasionally as emphasis - you need to make sure that most of your sentences have a verb in the main clause.
Still, those points are technical, the story itself is looking good. A couple questions, though, what about Kasumi and the changeling? And I'd think that if it's been many months since Akane disappeared and Ranma popped up again without her, the father would be all over him. So would Kasumi, once Ranma pulled her out of her dream world.
| Jerry Unipeg chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
| Narsil chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
You're right, it's *way* short. Nice teaser, though, looking forward to more - just don't take too long.