|Reviews for My Story|
| lezonne chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
Hello there! Here's one of the reviews in regards to the Duct Tape Competition.
The summary of this story caught my eye and I had to give it a go. It's different from what I originally expected but in a good way. I liked how it wasn't all romance, and there were aspects of muted drama and family laced into the story. I even noticed the humorous undertones. Great job!
| DobbyLovesSocks chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
Interesting... That was an unusual idea, but I enjoyed it. Well done.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
Oh my god, this is so adorable. Lily I imagine.
What? Harry and Ginny got divorced? Who stays with who then (apart from Lily)? And who’s this new headmaster? Of course McGonagal would have had to retire at some point…I was kinda hoping for an old teacher like Flitwick though. Or maybe the Herbology Teacher. Heh, imagine Trewalny.
“As he was combing his hair so it was neatly in place and owl flew through the window,” – an owl.
Lily seems a little contradictory on that point, writing to his Dad as if there’s no family issue at all, and then acting in effect of the divorce. If she barely visits, how can she expect Harry to tell her he’s arriving?
Yay. Harry and Dudley get along.
“Harry grinned at Draco. No one read that.” Except Hermione. :)
Ah, Neville could have been Headmaster.
This still sticks with canon…though I have to wonder about a lot of things. How’s Harry’s relationship with Ron nowadays? And I can’t believe Harry made no effort to go talk to Lily. Or felt more than that initial pang. Pouts.
| WeasleySeeker chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
Although I don't like Drarry, I quite liked this fic :) I like the idea that Harry wrote a book about his experiences, and I can imagine a book like that would be quite inspiring to the future Hogwarts generations. I really like that the Headmaster's plan worked! It was quite sad that Lily wouldn't even speak to Harry, but understandable in her situation. The ending was lovely, actually, showing the contrast between the two stages of their relationship. Good job :)
| HeadlessHuntsman chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
This was well written, I in no way ship Harry/Draco anyone who has read any of my stories knows that I am pretty much a canon shipper as well. I have no problem with slash I just don't like it where the canon characters are concerned. Anyway I thought this was cute and I like Lily's anxiousness about Harry coming to the school.
| thefirstservant chapter 1 . 3/25/2012
This was rather interesting. Although I don't think I can imagine Harry writing a book on his life without someone else helping him, and actually coming to school to read it o the students, I think you really shone in the details. James's behavior as interesting, as was Lily's. All, in all, a good job.
Thanks for sharing!
| dontyoucrynomore chapter 1 . 3/8/2012
Okay, first off, the fic itself is quite well-written. It flowed very well, and I didn't spot any grammar/spelling mistakes. Great job on that!
However, one thing that I must say, is that Draco seemed quite out of character. He'd always seemed snarky and snide, but in your fic, he seemed to be warped into a completely different character. I believe that he would still retain some sort of snark, even if he loved Harry. And, since I'm not a Drarry shipper, I guess the whole Harry-Ginny-divorce thing didn't sit quite well with me either.
Anyway, other than that, I think you did a fantastic job writing this! You captured Harry's character quite well. I loved your James as well. XD
| autumn midnights chapter 1 . 2/21/2012
This was interesting, I don't believe I've ever seen a fic like this before. It was very well-written, with no mistakes that I saw, and actually, to some extent, made sense. The 'Read Me Week' premise actually was a good way to get the Hogwarts students to begin reading some more. I think the Draco/Harry relationship could have had a bit more background in it; since they did hate each other in school, after all, they must have gotten together in a relatively detailed way. You wrote it well, though. I can picture the divorce of Harry and Ginny hitting Lily the hardest - she's the youngest, and she's a girl. The idea of Harry's book also makes sense, because I think if he didn't write one, then there would be a lot of confusion about what really happened, and a lot of Rita Skeeter wannabes running around publishing rumor-filled books. Good job.
| lord admiral belisarius chapter 1 . 1/6/2012
Honestly, I don't mind the slash. Rather, I can ignore it. I definitely have my opinions about it, but that's neither here nor there.
Though I probably have this issue, some of the dialogue seems stilted. That might have something to do with having several quotes in a line, rather than breaking them up onto their own lines, which is IIRC, the proper way of punctuating them.
I also believe that McGonnagal (sp?) is headmistress at the time Harry's children are at Hogwarts. I can understand putting in an OC, but that lack of explanation was a bit jarring.
The tabloid titles and Harry's exasperation were amusing, I have to admit.
Prose is fine. It doesn't need any special flourishes. A bit more showing would have been nice, but it was fine.
The thing is, as a character piece, there is relatively little development IMO. There are a few lines about how Harry and Draco a buddies now. I think this would be greatly improved with some more descriptions of body language
| Imablack chapter 1 . 1/6/2012
Nice story. I agree with you, slash can be hard to write, especially if you are not convinced of the pairing yourself. It can be unbelievable, but since you thankfully left out all the lemons, your story worked out quite well. It would have been even better if you expanded it another one or two chapters in order to develop the characters of the children a little more and perhaps mention Ron, Hermione, and Ginny’s take on Harry pairing up with Draco. Well written—well done.
| Dazzled-Midnight-Melody chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
This was written extremely well for a "canon-girl" as you so bluntly put it. It seemed to me that you saved the basic character of each character, something that not many "next-gen" pieces do. Harry and Draco for example, even after coming out with their sexuality still received what I saw as key parts of them, Harry his humble behavior and Draco the quiet demeanor that I always assumed he would develop after the war. The Potter children, too seemed very well crafted, although there wasn't much mention of them, or Ronald's children, despite the fact that Harry mentioned Ron and Hermione. Lily, seemed to be the key focus child, no doubt due to Harry's guilt over the divorce and the impact it had on her, although she seemed a bit bratty, definitely Slytherin behavior, wanting to prove herself apart from her famous relatives.
Apart from the best bits of the piece, I did feel that you where leading up to something that you didn't deliver on. The countdown might have been the cause for this, at the end of "Read Me Week," I expected that Harry would reconcile with his daughter, or that Ron and Hermione would show up, and convey acceptance of Harry and Draco's relationship. I don't know, it just felt like in that aspect that something was seriously missing.
I did however, love the "Read Me Week" idea, although I doubt Hogwarts would ever have one, I appreciated the positive effect it had on the students. Hogwarts: A History, most likely got it's highest reading spike ever, after all as Harry stated, "no one read that,"
Overall I loved this, but if you were to do it over again, I would recommend making it longer and perhaps adding more conflict and a resolution at the end, just to make it a more interesting read. Thanks for the great read!
| NoSuchTriangle chapter 1 . 11/3/2011
Absolutely beautiful. :)
| Someone aka Me chapter 1 . 10/25/2011
Alright, so first off I have to acknowledge the fact that you got a very difficult holiday, and the way you dealt with that (Harry reading to the school) was creative and I like it.
That being said, it did sort of drag a little. I felt like it was building up and building up to some big, impactful ending, but then there wasn't one.
Grammar and spelling are both very well done, and it's very well written and fluent, though!
| Emotive Gothika chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
Very nice and warm.
I'm not a canon girl, so I like the slash very much, no matter how toned down it was.
| Quintessential Dreams chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
My dear, despite being a cannon girl, you wrote this wonderfully. I do wish you had addressed the issue with Lily a little more, but this was supposed to be about 'Read Me' Week. I also love the little snippets you put in there about the book Harry wrote. Very lovely, Ash. Loved it very much.