Reviews for Someone: Part One
QueenDisney chapter 20 . 4/19
This is literally too much. My heart is aching for Jacob. I mean come on Seth! Can't you see the guy is trying? I get it that he hurt her terribly but the guy atleast deserves a chance. I've been crying so f***ing hard; not just regular crying but ugly crying. If a guy would have made an effort to do that for me I would love him so badly. Like there are plenty of relationships out there wherein the guy doesn't do much of an effort to prove to her that he actually loves her! I literally can't take it anymore but I can't stop reading! Huhuhuhu

This is when you know you're a great author. When your readers are legit in agony. I'm here with three slashes in mah heart /3 Love you Jacob Black!
Nihama9492 chapter 11 . 3/21
I really like this story, but the inconsistent timeline really annoys me.

In your version:
Edward leaves Bella
Bella becomes depressed
Bella hangs out with Jacob
Emma comes to La Push
Bella and Emma hear the legends
Emma sees Carlisle
Emma, Bella and Jacob go to the movies, Bella is still a Zombie
Emma sees Laurent
Laurent corners Bella in the Meadow and is destroyed

In the book version:
The Cullens leave
Bella becomes a Zombie
Bella hangs with Jake
Jake phases
Laurent corners Bella in the Meadow and is destroyed
Bella finds out about shape shifters
Bella tries to Kill herself
Bella saves Edward from himself
Bella hears the Legends
Bella spends more time with Jake

While I think this is a well written story, and I quite like your OC, I think you should have put a disclaimer somewhere about this story being AU or having a skewed timeline, because I was very confused when Carlisle was mentioned but Bella was still a zombie and having her hear the legends, which was after Edward returned and it was also June. So Emma is supposed to stay until April when the Canon time is June. It just doesn't make sense and you should include a disclaimer somewhere.
charlotte818 chapter 4 . 9/17/2015
The "god help me" line at the end is the second biblical reference you've made in this story when you've got emma narrating, who as you also mentioned in this chapter is part quiliete. You might wanna go back and remove the references as some people, myself included, may find them inaccurate and distracting as native Americans while aware of Christianity, are non believers and have their own set of beliefs. I'm not meaning this review as a flame but I feel like you need to do a bit more research or hire yourself a beta reader.
meadowdetto chapter 37 . 6/11/2015
nooooo you left us at a fucking cliff hanger whyyy *whines
meadowdetto chapter 16 . 6/11/2015
the fucking feels bruhhhh
Reader-chic-2 chapter 9 . 6/2/2015
Wow wow wow! This feels so real like in twilight stuff. When u have a bonfire or pack party u don't slip over details or just throw it in there because u can-u make something happen out of it, which is more than I can say for my past works! Love this very much!
MissAliceLovely chapter 8 . 4/2/2015
I like the story but when you use the italics make sure to space your words, i skip over those parts bc im not going to try and figure out what is being said when its all smashed together like that.
nightcoregirl chapter 1 . 2/23/2015
:))
jongininiHermione88 chapter 15 . 12/29/2014
OMFG THE FEELSSS
Gothic-Angel342 chapter 4 . 11/26/2014
3rd wife *sorry ocdness kicking in ignore me*
PastOneonta chapter 37 . 6/18/2014
Enjoyed this story. Emma and Jacob had their challenges as a couple and separately. I was shocked when he hurt her but more surprised when she stayed with an abusive boyfriend. Because he threatened to hurt her mom? The Pack was well written, Emily and Sam together was good. I see the continuance of this is posted and complete. I look forward to reading it.
Hi chapter 5 . 5/26/2014
Good so far, but they are shapeshifters not werewolfs.
Shakilove chapter 37 . 5/15/2014
So at the end of this I thought of my friend singing the song Victoria in c.f. reach it was awesome and I loved it he got superior at that competition
jeskasaurus93 chapter 37 . 3/22/2014
I hope you update again soon! Loving this Jake/OC story.
reader5sam chapter 14 . 1/18/2014
THIS IS SO SAD what happen to her at the end
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