|Reviews for Darwin's Fist|
| Clevingerrr chapter 11 . 2/21
Damn, that was a tense chapter. A rather welcome one, though! Great to finally get Alek's POV (spot-on, I should mention) regarding the Fist. Seeing the Clanker unit was a nice touch, considering America's role as both Clanker and Darwinist in the trilogy. Are you going to delve into potential discrimination against them, by chance? Judging by how xenophobic members like Marasco are, it'd be interesting to learn about how their comrades view them.
I loved the outburst between Marasco and Alek near the end. The two contrasted well, and definitely added to the appeal of the chapter. Honestly, I was half-expecting him to lay into Deryn as well once she mentioned the truth about Darwin's Fist, but maybe it was for the best that it never happened.
If I may be a picky reader, there are a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in this chapter. In addition, the spacing seems a bit off: it's sometimes difficult to tell when one section ends and another begins. Just a quick run-through Word or another document reader might help clarify the issue.
| Resisting the Borg chapter 10 . 2/15
Well, this has been largely interesting. I've counted two or five characters who seem to have magically appeared from other series. If this continues, might I request an appearance by the Mumby family?
Seriously, though. It's a fun series and I enjoy the concept, but your 'super-soldiers' seem to be a little… over-powered. Sure, they had trouble battling the robot in this chapter, but I recall reading somewhere that "if you have to invent kryptonite for your character, then they're way too powerful." Or words to that effect. You might want to tone it down a little. Also, do you have any idea about how the super-soldiers/Spartans would be affected by having animal DNA grafted to their own-the MENTAL effects. They could be increasingly feral, territorial, et cetera. Unless they have a brilliant therapist (or the boffins are just THAT GOOD, which I have a little trouble believing), they're probably going to act SLIGHTLY psychotic.
But really. You've already featured Hester Shaw from Mortal Engines, so why not the Mumbys?
| Clevingerrr chapter 1 . 2/12
It's nice to see a story shedding more light on the American aspect of Leviathan, especially given the relatively light focus on them during Goliath. The OC's are well-written and unique, and Deryn doesn't seem very different from her personality in the novels. I'll be sure to keep up-to-date with the story's progression.
My only gripe would be with the overall lack of Alek or any other characters from the series. The story has worked well with mostly Deryn so far, but Alek's perspective made up 1/2 of the content of the trilogy. It just seems a bit odd.
Aside from that, this is an excellent fanfiction.
| MissyBailey chapter 1 . 1/15
I usually wait till to end to review, but I just wanted you to know that this chapter has more fantastically placed references than I've ever seen. Thank you.
| DaLintyMan chapter 1 . 12/7/2013
Don't the books mention all of America was using both Clanker and Darwinist methods? It's been a while, but that's what I remember.
| Snickerdoodle Once Removed chapter 7 . 12/1/2013
Semper fidelis means "always loyal", not "always ready".
| Areias chapter 9 . 8/16/2013
Oh, wow, this is like, MONTHS late, but I suppose you must be talking about me here in the A/N - the comment about America's national power, right? Alas, I'm sorry for going anon; I was too lazy to log on. If you hadn't left a comment on my story and I hadn't clicked into your profile I would have forgotten I'd ever reviewed it! (Sorry, I'm terribly unorganized like that, which is why I've stopped responding and/or PMing and/or commenting recently)
Anyway, I see that you've chalked everything up to private developers, which I suppose can work. I certainly like the result; very exciting stuff. It speaks to the I CRAVE MASSIVE ACTION part of me, which isn't a bad thing at all.
Feel free to PM, and I shall try my best to respond and/or remember that I have already responded so I don't send you two responses by accident (this has happened to me a lot). Cheers.
| Guest chapter 9 . 7/4/2013
-A Random Reader
| Guest chapter 8 . 7/4/2013
I like the Hunger Games reference ;D
-A Random Reader
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/3/2013
To answer the question at the beginning: I just do t know much about firearms, but those names did seem like they belonged to more modern guns, with the M### thing and such. I was tempted to look it up, but I didn't want to stop reading this xD. Good job!
-A Random Reader
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2013
Holy barking spiders. This is THE best fanfic I think I have ever read! *Q*
-A Random Reader (and a huge Scott Westerfekd fan)
| Garibaldi the Black Haired chapter 5 . 5/24/2013
On the story: It's OK really, the SPARTANS are kind of stealing the show (though the original cast adds some nice in character humor.) I like the other references thrown in as well.
only complaint: too much 'Murica.
On that airship (USS dreadnought): It seems to be running on a British naming convention, rather than being a yank ship. Most US ships are named after: famous people, famous events, places, and older ships. (the last 4 BBs were of the Iowa class, preceded by the North Carolina class.) Your airspeed seems a little ridiculous too. the P-51D had a rated top speed of some 440 MPH (to your 520 MPH) with the Merlin engine, and it was a WW2 plane. Also your cloaking, It seems more like an active camouflage, to make the ship seem less noticeable, rather than true optical stealth.
were you reading too much Agents of SHIELD?
sorry if I seem too critical.
| Sofa king lazy chapter 9 . 4/14/2013
Wow this is actually really good :). You are a good writer when it comes to action stuff. Keep up the awesome writing, bro.
| Anon chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
Very interesting story. I'm not sure I caught all the references, though there are a lot of series I love woven into this chapter. The action scenes are very nice.
I must agree with another reviewer on the matter of accuracy, though - America in the canon was an upstart nation, Darwinist in the south and Clanker in the north. Seeing as the North won in the Civil War, she is more likely to be Clanker than Darwinist. Compared to Britain, home of Charles Darwin himself and the pioneering nation of genetic engineering, American fabrications shouldn't even come close to the level depicted in this fic.
In actual history as well, America during WWI was not the military might portrayed here - at best she was a latecomer in the war, who tried to delay her entry to gain the most from either side. Teddy Roosevelt had opted for a strong military, true, but you seem to forget that America is not considered a superpower at this time - that title belonged to the British Empire up to and including WWII. All the trash talk of the sergeants on British military incompetence is hardly warranted - if anything, Brits should be trash talking American incompetence. American dominance and global power was spurred on by WWII and the Cold War - before these conflicts, there had been little cause for her to devote much of her GDP into arms development. In fact, the USAF didn't even exist prior 1947.
As an Airborn fan myself, I appreciate the mention of Kate, though I should also point out that the Dominion of Canada at that time was part of the British Empire. In fact, during the war, Canadian soldiers were considered the elite forces in the field - a reputation that would continue into WWII. If Kate fabricated cloud cats and aerozoans, it would have been for the British Air Service, not for the Americans, seeing as Canada had no air force either (virtually no country in the world back then had an air force, with the RAF being one of the very first to be formed).
It's easy when writing to be overcome by patriotic bravado and depict America as greater than she was - I understand. But as a reader who pays attention to historical and canonical detail, that tends to turn me away from a story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
Hmmm...this gets less Dalek and more 'Murica the more I read.