Reviews for Puella Magi ga Gotoku
Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
Wow, I'm stunned
Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
WOW! This was AWESOME!
Fimbu1vetr chapter 4 . 4/24/2013
Being witch kissed is suffering!
Fimbu1vetr chapter 2 . 4/23/2013
When I saw Fragarch I thought fate. When I saw UROBUCHI I died. Oh god... Heaven's Stay Night vs Fate/Zero? Oh no!
webidolchiu94 chapter 6 . 4/13/2013
Things I loved: The Engrish. Hana's backstory. Komachi coming to save the day. A reference to Hitomi's forbidden love hypothesis (MEMETIC MUTATIONNNN). And...Sayaka's cameo. I'm assuming you're using facts from the PSP game, because I've not played, nor have I read the differences between that and that and the anime. I also liked the parts under "Soul's Monologue" they sound like something you'd hear at the beginning and ending of a really sad anime. You know what I mean? Hana's path to become a Magical Girl reminds me of Mami...

Things I didn't like: Nothing, really. It's pretty well thought out. I guess you could say I'm a reader that's easy to please. I do say this, though. I for one don't think your chapters are getting too long. I for one love long chapters.
webidolchiu94 chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
Augh...now I'm going to sound like I'm copying you... I said I wouldn't spoil anything but augh, that's all I'm going to give you as a hint.

I do have to say that your paragraphs seem a little..long to me. (It's an opinion though.) Maybe breaking them up a little more would be better. I think that I myself need to have longer paragraphs, though.

I thought it was interesting that you named it Yggdrasil, but for reasons better not revealed, I shall not say why.

"Chichin Pui!" (You had to didn't you?) I really liked that, because I knew hte reference immediately. Kazumi-chan would be happy I bet to know her catchphrase lived on. One thing I really had to stop and laugh my guts out about was the furry comment. I would have never in a billion trillion years thought she would be a squirrel.

And why is Mami an idol? is this an alternate universe, because I was a tad confused when Kyoko was with Momo.

The most squee-worthy thing was to know was she changed her name to Kohaku. You did describe one of her eyes as amber-colored. I just LOVE her new resolve. (dances happily)

MOOOOOORE!
webidolchiu94 chapter 4 . 2/1/2013
Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye. This really lived up to Madoka Magica's level of despair. Seriously, are you okay? The wording gave a sense of serenity, however behind it was lay an uneasy maddening suspicion. It was both horrific and calming, how strange... it was only worsened by the fact that I still am grieving her mother's death. But I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles.

I knew it! A Witch's Kiss... and my favorite character other than Homu-chan.

When you mentioned food in the other author's note, I guessed it right away. Mami-chan showing up to save the day all the time is getting old in my opinion.

Lorina sort of reminds me of Madoka. A British counterpart, perhaps?

Ah, the hate was really surprising, and it was really intense how much she felt, wasn't it? I mean, i would be just as jealous.

The fighting was really good, just what I expected from Kyo-chan.

However, there is only one thing I must say.

I. Really. Am. Annoyed. By. Anna. She seems, pretty uppity if you ask me. I mean, Hana barely knows her and she just got introduced, so I can't judge her yet, but I don't GET Anna sometimes. It's probably an omen of things to come, but I'm not sure.

The language barrier breaking down was convenient, but I guess Hana can't always speak in English and Anna can't always translate for Lorina.

Also...the Japanese phrases made me go "Squeee" every time.
webidolchiu94 chapter 3 . 1/24/2013
(Stares at the screen)

SHAFT needs to hire you. I am serious. With their animation and your plot, I'll never be bored. Of course, that leaves voice actresses...

My thoughts on this chapter were very mixed. But not in a bad way, no not at all. In fact, these chapters get better and better.

I really like Lorina's wish. Sounds like something I'd ask for. (For me, it would be to have PK, actually. Like in "From the New World").

Just who the heck is Shibey, though? I bet he has something to do with what happened to Lorina. Still, the ending was very unexpected.

Oh...and "Super Witch"? (grin) That was...also an unexpected development. The name I mean. I usually just think of them like storms, I define them in categories. But that's just me.
webidolchiu94 chapter 2 . 1/19/2013
“Being unique was suffering.” I see what you did there.

Besides that, very action packed. The description of such horrifyingly beautiful destruction was both disturbing and delightful. What unique characters you’ve come up with. Aoi and Eri are, in a way, a more volatile(would that be the word?) version of Madoka and Homura. At least that’s what I am assuming. Their history wasn’t all played out, but the snippets you provided did give them quite some life. Maybe I would call them a darker version of them?

Augh, I hate comparing OCs and cannon characters, but I just can’t help it. That’s just what popped into my head.

But then you gave us Lorin and her friends. And then my brain imploded. Really, why’d you pull out that twist? Than Kyubey appears, and I start trying to piece together all of the fragments. And all the different anime they mentioned, I am sure glad I knew most of them. Smiles from that bit. Especially the sentence mentioning Tokyo Mew Mew. (Though, I did think the dub made her transformation rap pretty cute…)

After that, the dream sequence was, saying the least, where I finally got what exactly was happening. (It takes a while for me to process awesomeness.)
And of course, his name is not Kyubey, as I came to learn.

Also, I love that you made Lorin have heterochromia with her eyes. I mean, I love how it makes characters look! And it makes animators pay attention more, ‘cause it’s gotta be the right color on the right side.
webidolchiu94 chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
Okay. So far, I enjoyed the stage you set up for your story. I always love prologues, and this particular one is a prime example of why. It was both mysterious, and went along with the whole "being a magical girl is not sunshine and rainbows" atmosphere that PMMM has going for its franchise.

To be honest, I have a feeling this is starring an OC. Those are hard to write. (I know, I've tried...) But so far she seems very balanced. Not wangsting away in the first few paragraphs, only the expected amount in comparison to the girls in cannon.

Truly the first few words, if they were spoken by who I think they were...

It was terrifying.

Also, the text in italics in the beginning and end of the chapters were very interesting and highly poetic.
NoblesseOblige chapter 3 . 8/15/2012
'kay... yeah it sound a little girlish... probably. Dunno.

So, this story has me gladly surprised. The prologue had me intrigued and confused, but far more of the second than of the first. Then, as I was reading the first chapter, the most prominent thought in my head was "WTF? The hell is this thing?". Unexpectedly, I was starting to find Eri and Aoi interesting, and I was seriously thinking this story was about them. Then it turns out that not, it's not about them and I the few things I managed to understand about them are to be discarded and forgotten. It wasn't pleasant, you know? It took some work to come to understand their characters and possible motivations. And it's not like it was a short snippet, it was HALF of the freaking chapter! (probably 5000 words if I understand correctly). That's quite discouraging. I was expecting to have to go over the process of familiarizing myself with the new characters.

Here comes the surprising part. It turns out that I didn't have to wait long to form a proper image of Lorina. Quite an expresive brat you have here, and that's awesome! I'm sure I would hate her like no other if she were a real life person. Since she's not, I'm fascinated by her personality. I'm under the impression that she has a depth that many (meaning: most) other fics in this site lack. This is only the second chapter and I can already start listing adjectives such as willful, selfish, jealous, not really as valiant as she believes... etc. And the amazing thing is I don't really remember the last time I had such an understanding of an OC.

Now, I was going to review tomorrow, after reading Ch03, but I felt the urge to do so now simply to remark one thing in particular that I find to be a massive eyesore (in my opinion, of course). The thing is: Magical Boy in PMMM. Or boys. I am filled with so much prejudice against these individuals that I'm sorely tempted to abandon this story right here and now. Chances are, even though they are on the other side of the world, this guy will appear again, otherwise you wouldn't have made him appear in the first place. Every single magical boy I have seen in PMMM fanfics so far have proved to me to being little more than shameless (or very shameful, depending on your point of view) self-inserts and/or Gary Stu's. As a fact, there's no real NEED to include boys, and I will see any attempt at it as an attempt of proving "something". What exactly that "something" is I will leave to you to figure out. You seem like a smart person, you'll probably think of something. Also, to further prove my point, this magical boy seems to be a great deal stronger than the average magical girl. This fact automatically wins my dislike.

Normally, I wouldn't have complained. I would have just turned around and left, forgetting I ever saw anything. However, this is fic is quite compelling in my eyes, so I complain now in hopes of convincing you to erase him, or to never bring him up again. Unfortunately, next chapter has already being uploaded; chances are that whatever you need him for is already in motion and not stopping anytime soon.

(Should He actually be a She that just happened to look very boyish, I'll be ashamed to no end for writting a rant this long for nothing XD)

So, that's all I have to say... probably. I'll finish this tomorrow after having my rest. See ya.
ShadowkittenMF chapter 1 . 10/30/2011
A good enough start for a prologue. The challenge is going to be making your OC interesting without making her overpowered or a Mary Sue. From the intro I can tell she thinks of herself as a special chosen-one, and I hope that's setting things up for introspection and drama.

Still, I am very interested to see where you take this.
Danny Barefoot chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
Interesting start; the Puella's feelings are well described, but discovering a little more about her might have grounded the story a bit more. Is the enemy she wants to destroy Gretchen? I'll watch this with some anticipation, looks very good.
Rhyno Holter chapter 1 . 10/28/2011
Hey, don't be so nervous.

The story itself, as it's just the prologue, leaves a lot to be desired. This is GOOD, because that's the sign of a good prologue - it makes me want to read the rest of the story, assuming the rest of the story is finished - and it had better be.

It's intriguing, to say the least. Good job.