Reviews for Not Your Average Konoha Academy Graduate
EagleJarl chapter 6 . 8/1/2014
Well that wasn't creepifying at all. I'll look forward to seeing where this goes next, and I hope it updates soon. This doesn't seem like the sort of thing that Root would do, unless there is something special about the kids.

Two comments: I think it would be better if Harry-I mean, Naruto, were in his teens at this point. An 8-year-old pulling off this off strains belief more than a tad. But, that's too deeply embedded at this point. Also, there's a number of spelling / grammar blips in this chapter; you might want to do another editing pass. Also also, there are some unneeded capitals. Oh, and "capitals [letters]", not "capitols [buildings]" in the 'True Sight' discussion.
EagleJarl chapter 4 . 8/1/2014
This had me snickering in a lot of places, especially: "I would like to go on record and say that while their style is known as the Gentle Fist, they aren't actually gentle people."

A magical duster (yay, reference!) sounds like a bad sneaking coat - it flows, and gets caught on the bushes.

The imagery in the Soul Gaze of Sarutobi was really well done - I read it and was nodding along going "yes, yes, that's exactly it." From a literary perspective, I think it would have been better if you had left out the interpretation: "He was old and tired, but he wouldn't let himself rest until he found someone to take his place. He was haunted too." That's a very 'tell' way of getting the information across, and you did a great job with 'show'. Also, the part about him giving Naruto his hat and Konoha didn't belong there - those aren't core elements of Sarutobi's soul. They are, perhaps, things that will happen in the future, possibly even things he WANTS, but not essential elements of himself.

Also, copy edit: "There's no way I'm not slacking off!" - remove the 'not'
EagleJarl chapter 3 . 8/1/2014
I really like the idea of Sasuske's mom running across the kunai. That was hilarious. Also, I find myself horribly curious about what the Nara women can do that is so horrible even Jiraiya of the Sannin refuses to peep on them.

Another well-written and funny chapter. I like the changes your making - Naruto doesn't need to be a badass ninja AND a badass wizard. Making him a wizard who isn't a very good ninja is much more interesting, and makes for good contrasts. Although, you did say that his taijutsu was "halfway decent" now; hopefully he doesn't end up a master of both disciplines.
EagleJarl chapter 2 . 8/1/2014
Oh, a thought for the last chapter - Bob would make an awesome DM. Are we going to we that, by any chance? I'm guessing no, that the D&D books were just a oneoff gag, but here's hoping.

I like the conflict for this chapter - it's very realistic, and I'm glad that people are taking the idea seriously. When Naruto punched Danzo it was a huzzah! moment for me. It really should have killed him, so I hope he's out of the way now, but I bet he isn't.
EagleJarl chapter 1 . 8/1/2014
Great start. This really felt like a DF book, especially with the "not my fault" and "demon snakes" lines.

Good to see Bob and the gear. As a gamer, I'm delighted that the DMG/PH/MM were among the survivors of the 21st century. Carrying the torch forward into a new...century? Millennium?

One copy edit: "lo and behold", not "low."
shika the troublesome chapter 6 . 7/28/2014
After reading so many Naruto variations and crossovers, this is refreshingly new. Can't wait to find out if Naruto will ever learn to make shadow clones, summon toads, gather nature chakra, or befriend kyuubi.
Darious Frost chapter 6 . 7/28/2014
Hmmm, I get the feeling that Danzo may be making an appearance/complaint in the council about this. Btw, I read straight through before commenting, I kinda like to get caught up before I say anything. I've only watched the show and never read the books, but I do love Harry and Bob from what little exposure to them I've had. I really like how you have the story set up and it's fun to read. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and those after it!
shika the troublesome chapter 1 . 7/28/2014
Nice naruto dresdon crossover. Frankly most crossovers are overdone and filled with poorly written stories. This is not one of those. It is well written. I hope stories such as yours will inspire more authors to try this crossover.
swiftrabbit chapter 6 . 7/21/2014
Dresden and Naruto are the way to go! Really looking forward to this story.
Warpwind chapter 6 . 7/18/2014
good overall. there is some humor, a personality and a story-line and story logic aren't messed up.
from failings: that not a child personality, neither a child is good enough to work in police. Hokage reactions to bob and magic are really stupid. would have been better to make a lengthy adventures with a little naruto, wit humor and secrets.
Warpwind chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
fossil fuels? good idea.
aznxa21 chapter 6 . 7/13/2014
Great story I look forward to reading more.
Master DK chapter 6 . 7/10/2014
Like it
Junky chapter 6 . 7/8/2014
I finally discovered this story (as I always filter to 20,000 word minimum) and I have to say, Nicol, it's bloody brilliant. In fact, it's my favorite piece (for its originality) so far among your many fantastic stories.
fellow chapter 6 . 7/4/2014
Damn! Crush ROOT now Sarutobi! I'm so glad you updated this.
224 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 13 .. Last Next »