|Reviews for Crossings|
| SwedenSpeedway chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
It was hard.. but I got the bastard. Had to take a joyride in the Tardis with Clockwork Whooves, buuuut..
One could say Ive returned.
Oh, and Im reading this to the end. Seems worth it.
| Zero612 chapter 37 . 3/13/2013
I must say I rather enjoyed the story you've written. In my opinion it was a well written fic that should be able to intrigue readers for years to come. While I did have fun the Authors notes sometimes ruined the illusions placed.
| MintyFishbowl chapter 37 . 1/30/2013
In the end, I feel this was a great fanfic slightly crippled by gratuity and contempt. I don't regret reading it in any way, but there were still some flaws that I feel really put the story back from reaching its full potential.
I guess the first thing to look at first to look at would be the characters. Aeris and Leo are interpreted and characterized incredibly well, some of the best I've seen nearly any VGC story. While their outlandish personality traits are present, they still feel like actual humans (cats, whatever) with 3-dimensional personalities. Their dialogue is rich and humorous, without sounding too forced or awkward, and they kept a major role in the story, albeit Leo being a little overshadowed in the middle of the story.
Alex's character is relatively common: starts off as generally isolated and shut out from other, but shows his warmer side as it progresses. In the end, it's done effectively, but there are points where it feels a bit hard to want him to succeed in his wishes, even when you learn of his past. Leo and Aeris' attempts at consoling him are answered with hostility, which can make it hard to want this guy to have a resolution in the first place. However, it's justifiable anger, despite how unapproachable he can seem at times. It would help to give him some traits that make him more able to sympathize with. Also, I say you could have worked on his dialogue more. When he goes into such long details and exposition when talking about himself or his past, it can sound awkward and unlike realistic conversations. And, honestly, there were many points where it felt like he was being used as a soapbox for your personal opinions.
This is a criticism I feel needs addressing more. So much of this plot feels like unneeded bigotry and hate stemming from your own personal beliefs. It even starts with small things at the beginning, where Alex is so quick to point out to Aeris that he is a PS3 fan and goes on this passive aggressive tangent about how it's better than Xbox. It seems trivial to just that shove that in, and it feels like it's there just for the sake of you projecting your opinions.
In fact, the whole "Christians hate hybrids" element of the plot was just shallow and unneeded. I'm not a Catholic, but at the same time, there were some points where I had to roll my eyes at how biased and filled with Strawman arguments this story seemed to be at times. There's nothing wrong with having a story encourage equality, but when the message seems to be built upon "God isn't real; Christians are bad", it comes off as the same immature, bigoted mentality you see on the front page of /r/Atheism. If you want to get your point across, don't do it at the expense of alienating and insulting what could be a majority of your readers and their spiritual beliefs. Of course Christianity has been the inspiration for extremists and bigots, but you handled it in a way that most likely would insult a lot more people than the ones you're actually targeting, especially since you're targeting them with the problem of hybrid-relationships, a problem that doesn't even exist.
Well, getting out of the controversial stuff, those are really the only criticisms that I feel need to be addressed. Try and make dialogue a little more natural and realistic for your characters, and just try not to make your stories feel like they're built completely off of, for a lack of better terms, hate.
With those aside, I can easily praise you for what you did well: The details are vivid and expansive, Jake was charming and incredibly likable, and I feel that your approach to the ending was smart and sensible. I'm just going to go out on a limb and assume that the "two scenarios" were AerisXJake or AerisXLeo, and if it was, I can't blame you for your decision. Too many stories get undeserved hate because of a disagreement in which relationship makes more sense, so I think it's best for both sides to be winners (or losers, however you see it).
Overall, this was a great, worthwhile story that I feel was just hindered by a few hiccups in the dialogue, and a discriminatory tone at times.
| uknownmysteryguy chapter 19 . 9/17/2012
I would've been except you said that one was just filler... Hah... Why are my fullstops in sets of 3?.. It even counted the Question mark!..
| Got a new account chapter 37 . 9/3/2012
Chapter 36 was like a string of plot twists...
But, for a humor fic, this is oddly dark. Also it's for VG cats, which makes it even weirder. But it was good, so meh.
...did I just post three comments in a couple of minutes? O_o
| Got a new account chapter 35 . 9/3/2012
Aw, Joey wasn't Elijah...
But if he gets more appearances then :3
| Got a new account chapter 33 . 9/3/2012
I'm guessing Joey is Elijah Frost? There's probably already comments about this, but I don't really like the way you antagonize the Christian faith... Other than that, it's awesome, yeah.
| Deep Sea Anchor chapter 37 . 7/20/2012
I'm so sad.
It's over. I don't get to read it anymore.
*Sigh* Well I enjoyed it.
Really, this has been one of my big inspirations and favorites. I never would have gotten started if it wasn't for this story.
Since this is my last review I am going to make it long and say everything.
Clarissa. What to say of her. I thought she was so cool. I admit that I was suspicious, but I wasn't sure and I was so hoping that she wouldn't be what she turned out to be. But I suppose it was inevitable. And a good betrayal. You kept it uncertain right up until the end.
This whole story toyed with my heartstrings. From the relationship between Leo and Clarissa, to the almost relationship between Aeris and Alex, to everyone's seemingly terribly sad back-stories. I'm going to miss it.
Why? I mean, I know why, but why? So sad.
I really thought that everyone could be happy together now.
I was so surprised by his leaving. I suppose there is the consolation of his return and the possibilities held therein, but it still saddens me.
Ah well, it looked like his next visit wouldn't be too far off. I can cope.
In the end, it seems like we left were we started. Alex and Jake are elsewhere and Leo and Aeris are alone together again. One wonders what went on behind closed doors... but it still puzzles me.
Despite what Jake said, it seems to me that there is the very real possibility of Joey still being alive. No one shot him and it seems entirely reasonable that he woke up after Leo and Aeris left and made his escape. He wasn't even tied up. Just a thought. (I am going to cling to this. I loved Joey's character.)
In the end this became something completely different than what I expected and I loved it. It would go so far as to call it a major marker in my life, since it's one of the stories that started it all for me. So for that I thank you.
I will miss it terribly, but I wish you the best in your next project. Goodbye for now, but we'll be seeing each other again soon I'm sure.
| yayleo chapter 36 . 7/17/2012
| Shalemaster chapter 36 . 7/13/2012
I must admit this story has been fun to read, had fun guessing at parts specially about Joey. I had guessed he was related to Alex in some way shape or form. Didn't expect the Huskey to be a con artist. I could tell Alex had skills but not this much. Joey reminds me of two characters from a book series I read recently. Black Jack and Black Jack; A Killer for the Queen, I'm sujesting these two books to you because you seem to like pschopathic murderers who use knives. Though they have their share of Jake like moments trust me... That and AlexxAeris all the way. Also you did a good job on Joey's character, but if you read the current Black Jack books (it's a work in progress series) you will see another writers insanity. My top three favorite OCs of yours are (in order from 3-1) Jake, Joey, and Alex. I cant wait to reed the next chapter and ANY future stories of yours.
PS: Yes I just gave you a crazy killer book option to read (IF YOU WANT TO)
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
I actually wouldn't mind seeing Leo get killed in this one. He just seems so... out of place, and it would be very interesting to see how everyone reacts.
| Deep Sea Anchor chapter 35 . 7/12/2012
Oh what a twist! I did not see that coming with Joey, I really didn't. How terribly wonderfully cruelly ironic of you.
And here I was, thinking that it would be someone more obvious. What a splendid surprise.
In my opinion, one of your best chapters yet. I cannot wait for the second half of it.
This... is going to be fun...
| Deep Sea Anchor chapter 34 . 7/2/2012
Alright, this was good. A worthy addition. In fact, I would say a little more worthy than usual.
Less drama, or at least, less pity inducing drama.
Not that it isn't useful, but it's nice to return to some action-related drama. I've missed it
And romance too. I do so love romance. I like how you baited us with that and then threw in a seemingly entirely random assault. what could that lead to I wonder?
But, being the libidinous fiend that I am, I'm am the most interested in what Kerrisa is "up to" and I mean that in every sense of what that could mean.
| yayleo chapter 34 . 6/29/2012
I bet Kerissa is part if the hybrid hating origination, that's why she was so curious about Alex and new his mixes. She's just using Leo to learn more about him, and Aeris' instincts are picking up on it.
| Deep Sea Anchor chapter 33 . 6/24/2012
Good chapter. We get some insight into characters, reminders of past events, and we get to revisit interesting characters. Yes, a good chapter.