|Reviews for The Horcrux Within|
| Guest chapter 25 . 9/5
| Tornhold chapter 25 . 8/1
So... How long this time? :P
| Inconclusive chapter 25 . 7/27
Excellent story. So sensibly and compellingly written. Can't wait to read your next chapter.
| Guest chapter 25 . 7/20
| SmoulderS chapter 20 . 7/12
This is such a unique story, because it starts out dark, and gets less so as things progress. I like it.
| SmoulderS chapter 17 . 7/11
I love this story! Also, asparagus icecream is a real thing, so why not garlic?
| Anziano chapter 23 . 7/11
Absolutely the best post world cup battle I've read yet! This is probably the best portrayel of Ron I've read too, and I'm usually a Weasley-bashing fan.
| aptteach123 chapter 25 . 7/6
This is such a fantastic story! I love it a lot. I can't wait to see what will happen next. Please try to update again soon. I love this version of Harry and Hermione and Ron!
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/1
You been spellunf the same damn word wrong the entire way through
The word is
GET A DICTIONARY
| meowlzy chapter 25 . 6/26
On the whole this is pretty good. Thank you. Pray continue.
| Guest chapter 25 . 6/19
Hey. This is awesome. I love this story. It plays through so many things that I had questions about. Anyways. Please updated soon. Bye!
| gatemadness chapter 25 . 6/17
Whoah! That fight was so freaking awesome. I also really liked how he didn't want to know what he was up against. And how the other champions were concerned for him.
| Gioia chapter 13 . 5/29
I've never before left a negative review. And I'm really, really going to try to be as polite as I can here, because you are clearly gifted and working hard, and thus don't deserve any sort of abuse from those for whose benefit you sacrifice your time and energy.
But I'm utterly perplexed. You've left me horribly distressed, nauseated and miserable after this chapter. You keep joking about how much you torment Harry; how you can't go a chapter without doing so. At least, I thought it was a joke. My young daughter likes to write fics in which everyone dies, for the shock value, and because it's a joke among her friends that she can think of the most heart-wrenching ways to kill a character off. But (A) she's doing it as a parody, to be silly; and (B) she's a child and therefore really doesn't understand what actual trauma does to a person's psyche.
Neither of those factors seems to be the case here. You have great skills as a writer and display maturity and awareness which tell me you're an adult. And you seem to be writing in all sincerity, never having implied or said that you are merely toying with your readers' emotions because it makes you laugh.
So I have to ask, why on earth do you put Harry through trauma this severe, much less repeat it over and over and over? This is far, far, far beyond what occurred in canon at his age, and even JKR has admitted that his canon life would have been deeply psychologically damaging.
As a mom, you're killing me here. Sadly, I know from first-hand observation what happens to children who endure even a single tragedy in their life. The compilation of all that you've dropped on your child protagonist would have very serious ramifications and do permanent damage that would weigh on Harry for the rest of his life. You've touched on this a bit, by having Dumbledore tell him the prophecy in order to prevent him from committing suicide.
So I must ask: Are you honestly unaware of what tragedy does to a developing child's ability to engage in the world around them, form healthy relationships (both in the short-term, and long-term), take an interest in life, desire life over death, combat depression, have any desire or instinct to plan for the future (illustrated by doing homework, setting goals, etc.), be able to communicate appropriate with peers and authority figures, maintain healthy eating habits, develop and maintain empathy, or care about anything going on in the surrounding world? Because just one of the events in Harry's life could have set him off on a near unrecoverable spiral. The compilation you've loaded on his back, with Dobby's death as a last straw (because Harry does have reason to view this as his fault, even though it isn't), is far too much damage for a child to shake off.
I lost a sister to suicide. I know what it looks like when a child has been utterly shredded inside. You've got Hermione's conditions set up as a form of therapy, but that isn't the same as actual therapy. Even the world's best, professionally trained, fully-informed therapist would have an extremely difficult time taking a child who had lived through Harry's 12th year and helping them re-integrate into society, much less be willing to do all that we know is on the horizon for your Harry.
I'm truly stumped. I suspect I'm going to have to walk away from your story, which makes me feel awful, because you've done such a great job in all other areas. You really do have a gift, and I hope you nurture and develop it further. But perhaps, in the future, you might give some thought to what message you're sending out when you persecute your protagonist far beyond what any human being could hope to handle? Please?
| 125b chapter 24 . 5/12
| Velial13 chapter 2 . 5/12
A pity angst doesn't exist in a real world and it's impossible to relate to angsty idiots