|Reviews for Nails|
| Guest chapter 22 . 9/2/2013
that is not very well done for a NP.
| Leo-Novum chapter 2 . 7/9/2013
This is going along rather nicely.
| Marching Madly Onward chapter 35 . 7/7/2013
I have finally come to the end, and what a ride it has been. There has been intrigue and love and shock and war!
And I give it all a 7 out of 10.
It's not a bad story by any means. In fact, for the first half-to-two-thirds of the story, it's a great Fate/stay Night story. Probably a 9 out of 10. But then the Omega/Alpha/cloning sub-plot takes over and pushes the entire Grail War aside. The entire story suffers for it.
You go to the trouble of introducing us to the new Grail War, moving things to a nifty new setting that has been lavishly described and cooking up all of these interesting new Servants, only for them to die in rapid succession in the home stretch to make room for the Omega stuff. It all feels very rushed. Were you simply tired of writing the story and decided to get to the end as soon as possible? That's how it feels.
But even that's a minor complaint next to how you used anyone not named Rin or Illya. Those two are dead on, but all of the other returning characters feel wildly out of character.
Sakura endured years of Matou abuse and came out a sweet, soft-spoken girl. The only thing that flipped her switch was the awakening of her dark powers and the stress of knowing she was a monster. Without that tipping point, I fail to see how she could be the spiteful rage machine she is here. And speaking of things that don't make sense, how did Rin forget her? Rin knew Sakura was her sister way back in the original visual novel, and there is nothing in this new story line to explain why she suddenly forgot.
Shirou's bit doesn't make sense. You didn't really sell me on the idea that a brainwashed super soldier would turn over a completely new leaf because his target was a nice guy. It's a nice thought, but it just doesn't jive. If Kirei is this all-consuming manipulator and genius, he should have some contingency plan in place for his greatest weapon, which begs the question of why he even risked his greatest weapon going out into the world if he was that easily turned.
And there is the man himself. Is this really Kirei Kotomine? The Kirei of the original never cared about magi supremacy or combining magic and machinery. (And what's all this sci fi stuff? The technology of the Nasuverse is consistent with real world technology. It's not an everything-goes setting. It's a magicl-stuff setting where everything else is mundane.) World domination was never any part of his motivation. It's as if you created a story with a very specific sort of antagonist in mind to set things in motion, and then you threw in Kirei at the last minute because he's the big Fate/Stay Night villain. If the bad guy had been John Doe, I wouldn't have had a problem with any of it. But you used Kirei, who doesn't at anything like Kirei. This is a bad case of something I see a lot in fan fiction. An author creates an original character and staples a preexisting guy's name onto the OC to make people care. Your Kirei isn't really Kirei.
That said, there is a lot of charm in this story. You really know how to set a scene with those lush descriptions of Rin's surroundings. Rin and Illya's interactions are golden (though there's no explanation for why Illya is in perfect health). But your Servants really take the cake. Using the Golden Fleece as a zero-sum armor was fascinating, and your Tecumseh is one of the coolest Archers I've ever seen. Sigurd gets a lot of mileage in Fate fiction, but you did him justice with that nuclear sword. Lancer's Noble Phantasm was an incredibly clever take on the Marathon legend, too (even if it was associated with another completely unnecessary gender bender; I've always hated that part of the franchise). The down side to having such creative Servants is that Masters not named Rin and Illya are painfully wooden. They have maybe one note of personality, and that's all they get because they're just here to power the Servants. It's a widespread problem in Fate fiction.
So, all in all, you have a great Grail War story fused with a decent Omega story. Separately, they would have stood well enough on their own. Together, they fall apart. The Grail War is weakened by the Omega story, and the Omega story would have been better off without being shoehorned into a Grail War. Maybe they might have worked a bit better together if they came together more organically, but the Omega story is like a malignant growth that overwhelms and consumes the fare more interesting Grail War bit. With Kirei so severely out of character and the Grail War aspects falling away almost completely by the end game, it's barely recognizable as a Fate story anymore.
So, at the end of the day, the story is certainly above average, but it's not as great as the first stretch promised.
Still, I would love to read anything else you post in this fandom. You obviously have a way with words and a lot of creative juices good for producing engaging ideas. Better luck next time
| TrippyToastersAndABagOfChips chapter 35 . 7/5/2013
Well, I was rather skeptical about this fic when I first started reading it, but I take back anything I may or may not have said. This story is a masterpiece. I'm not just saying that out of flattery; I truly mean it. The plot is unique and involving, the characters are well-developed and realistic, and the tension builds to the climax just about perfectly. Every plot twist caught me off guard (with the exception of Berserker's identity, which I saw coming a mile away), yet everything was properly foreshadowed and set up ahead of time, so nothing felt like an ass-pull. A lot of planning clearly went into the story, and it shows.
What has been done here is more or less exactly what I feel fanfiction at its best should be: taking the pieces of an existing work, and rearranging them into something new. Like switching ingredients in a recipe, or remixing a song. The story is so different from the original Fate that, if it had different character names and did not involve the Grail war, it could stand on its own as an original work. Yet despite this, Rin still feels like Rin, Shirou still feels like Shirou, even Ilya still feels like the same person despite a massive change in circumstances and role. What you have is the essence of the original, but in a completely different wrapper.
This is easily the best Fate/Stay Night fic I've read so far, and without a doubt the best AU fic as well (whether you meant it to be AU or not). I would recommend it not only to Fate fans, but even to people who are unfamiliar with the franchise. The only flaw I can honestly think of is a few typos here and there, but if anyone if going to complain about that, then that's just plain nitpicking. This story is leagues above the majority of its peers, and the fact that people are writing it off just because the setting was changed from Fuyuki to Valencia... is just sad if you ask me.
This fic is a hidden gem, and I'm glad to have discovered it.
| illuminios chapter 2 . 6/29/2013
The change of place already causes lots of mistrust. Hope you will explain this detail soon, otherwise I will flame. Eloquently and continuously.
You were warned xD
| Impstar chapter 35 . 6/18/2013
A much better ending! It looks like things have come to a loop, and Berserker has become Shirou again. A well done and moving story.
As an aside, Kotomine doesn't really lose his cool like that normally, but then again, he did just see all his plans go up in ash. So I suppose that's understandable.
| Lamon chapter 35 . 6/18/2013
I honestly thought chapter 33 was the last chapter... Tragedy pervades the type/moon universe and I truly believed this had a tragic ending... A Pyrrhic victory as it were, so I was really surprised to see an update.
Somehow there is a good ending to the story which makes me happy and yet at the same time the end feels a bit rushed...
You truly are an excellent writer, please keep up the great work!
| Guest chapter 33 . 5/24/2013
Awesome chapter. And a really awesome and tearjerking ending. So many twists, so many surprises... and all very well written. A great climax.
| Yaoi lover chapter 33 . 5/23/2013
Kotomine is one of the smexiest male in Fate ( actually almost all males in fate are smexy even zouken when he was young and not a bag of worms) There are so many possiblilies to yaoi him up with anyone. Yet he is always touched in the head. Sigh sexy villains are better than fugly ones...
Fight on Shiro Rin ganbare! Beat that smexy devil.
| Guest chapter 33 . 5/23/2013
Hope it's not the end ...
1) she becomes a true magician I mean the endless possibles realities she viewed would make her... Like Edward Alreic from Full metal Alchemist (when Ed viewed Truth and understood magical formulas )/ like Berenkrnstal/Rika became powerful after experienceinf endless realities in UminekoHigurashiseries/ like how kururu understood things at the end of the series in Air Gear.
2) someone is gonna smash time/spacr/reality and save her just like Gasai Yuuno did in Mirai Nikkii to Yuki. Lover boy kyaaa
3) Zeltretch. Yea one name explains all. trolollo of the Fate series
4) wished back via Grail power ? Heavens feel? Like what how Goku does in Dragon Ball.
5) gets back when summoned like caster did and pops back into timeline .
Please happy ending wanna see more moe Rin x shiro
| Guest chapter 20 . 5/23/2013
Lol nice one Rin. Berserker funny hahahaa
I thought shed recognize her though. I mean their family alliance in the same city both heirs... ? Maybe she lost her memories?
| Guest chapter 17 . 5/23/2013
Loved that bottom paragraph on this chapter.
| Impstar chapter 33 . 5/21/2013
Is this the ending? A "we're stuck in a time loop" story? Dang, in my personal opinion is that this ending is only slightly better than "it was just a dream". Endings where nothing has changed from the beginning annoy me. Unless this isn't the ending, in which case I'm eager to see what you come up with. The story doesn't say completed, so I have hope.
| Nemrut chapter 32 . 5/16/2013
Fascinating story, really well done with the new servants and the mystery about their identities. Caster especially seems to be incredibly strong and likable.
Like this new re-imagining, although, don't quite understand why this had to be relocated to Spain since it didn't really seem to impact the story as of now, could have just as well happened in Fuyuki city, unless I missed something.
Nevertheless, good take on Rin and the rest of the characters, thank you for sharing this
| Lamon chapter 32 . 5/9/2013
What an utterly awesome story...
Totally original but so full of tragedy..
I can't help but think this will all end in tears..