|Reviews for The Nothing Planet|
| Rexan chapter 7 . 1/19
Twice you wrote “had came.” “Came” is the normal past tense, so it’s “had come.” Blah, now “came” just looks like a weird word. I wanna pronounce it “cah-may.”
When you’re writing “scabby feat,” do you mean “scabby feet”? Like, a foot? That’s what I ended up assuming after the second “feat.”
Aw no. I hope the “salvation” isn’t the Doctor. ‘Cause that’d mean he messed up good. D:
At the Doctor’s and Ryan’s intros of this episode, we don’t have any idea who’s talking until the third line. I dunno. I think it’d feel easier if a “_ said” were given to the first line. I mean, Ryan could be telling the Doctor to look at stars because Ryan’s excited about visiting a certain constellation or something.
I was wondering what a scabby footstep sounds like, especially since I was imagining the planet as pretty much a desert – how would any sort of footstep sound different on sand unless it were made of something distinctly different from flesh, like metal, which would have a higher /sheen/ sort of sound?
Oh noes! You did it! You did the “peaking” vs. “peeking” mistake! A “peak” is always the top of something, like a mountain, graph, or mound. And “peeking” can be used, as you did, as kind of “poking through” (“bone peeking out of the thigh”) or as looking at something. An easy way to remember it is that the “e”s are like eyes: they’re just looking, peeking at you.
Wheeee! Thanks for using the right “dingy.” I often see “dinghy” (a little boat) swapped with it. :P
I’m trying to understand Ryan’s personality, and I keep getting feelings of Amy Pond, especially with his style of dialogue. Well, I mean, about halfway through the last episode and a lot of this episode I’m getting that feeling. I don’t think I did so much in the first.
I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful than that about his dialogue – I don’t know what sorts of styles or words people use that set them apart from each other, other than accents (though it’s something I’ll probably look into more and learn later), so all I can say is that Ryan feels like Amy to me. (Clara the current canon companion also feels a lot, a LOT like Amy to me, too, though, so take what I’m saying with a grain of salt, I guess. :P)
What really compelled me to suddenly comment about Ryan’s personality is that I don’t think I’ve ever heard a guy mention testosterone except to say that he’s feeling low on it, and Ryan said the walls of the building are too fragile for the testosterone the Doctor and Gallagher are exuding. Again, though, I’m gonna take away a bit of credibility from my comment ‘cause I’m from the US and you seem to be from the UK or near it, looking at the common spelling differences, and I have no idea how often testosterone’s mentioned over there. :P
Side note: from reading this chapter, you got me whistling “It’s off to work we go.” Thanks a lot. xD
Not side note: I didn’t get the Doctor’s comment about the zombies not being average zombies and reasoning that these ones are different because zombies “are generally partial to a nice bit of blood,” as if these ones weren’t. ‘Cause they definitely did go for the blood, so they seem like normal zombies – I don’t get his point with those statements.
...Oh, never mind. You/the Doctor explained it. Thank you. :D
Really good writing at the end of the chapter. I’m wanting to find out what the Nothing does to those people.
“a world a million miles from his own”
Try trillions of miles.
Yeesh, you’re good at this ending-chapters-with-a-cliffhanger thing, aren’t you?
“ “They guessed around two hundred” ”
Why would it be a guess? Gallagher counted all the people as they loaded the TARDIS, and that’s how they knew someone was left behind and why Ryan went back and got Jessop.
So, is the planet call Cantarr or Canatre? It was called Cantarr in chapter 5, Canatre in this, the last.
Ehehehe, I’m really glad you’ve finally got fans with this story. Like, a nice group of fans, too. It’s got the common DW moralism and the Doctor’s anger. It’s also got the bothersome challenge about the death penalty that comes up in fiction every once in a while, especially bothersome for me and people who live in the US, since the death penalty and life in prison is relatively common here, or at least life in prison seems to be. And, upon researching this at your semi-prompting through the use of this story, apparently we (the United States) have the most people, per capita, imprisoned, too, out of the whole world.
But that’s off topic now. I’ll shut up and read your next episode. Thanks for writing something that indirectly led to me learning something new!
| Irokoutlol1 chapter 7 . 11/3/2013
Dang, I just love this story series or um 'season' and gosh this one was dark, for some reason one thing kept going through my head. Hugs. I have no idea why, but I had this weird feeling that a hug from the doctor would've helped. (Prooooobably not.)
This is just great though! Your one of the most fantastic authors I found on here. I hope you'll keep writing stories!
| Insanityisgood25 chapter 7 . 8/6/2013
Another amazing episode! This one was dark... Even I'm feeling sad for Ryan. Poor kid... :(
Going on to the next one!
| Psyduck chapter 7 . 3/8/2013
I don't think I've ever read fan fiction that really quite captured the spirit of it's source material before. As good as some are they tend to feel a bit off. But I've been reading this series and I almost find myself at a loss for words. These 'episodes' not only manage to keep the Doctor in character, but are also very well thought out, and really feel like they could be an episode of Doctor Who. I look forward to reading more of your work, and honestly think you should be writing professionally. (I have read some very stupid books and if they can get published you certainly can)
| RSegovia chapter 7 . 9/16/2012
So when are you going to start writing for the show or tie-in novels? Seriously, you should submit these to someone official and get published. This is not fanfiction. There are some mistakes, but all you need is a good editor.
| HawkRider chapter 7 . 7/24/2012
Wow, that was a good finishing chapter. And Episode Four sounds great! I can't wait for it!
| HawkRider chapter 6 . 7/24/2012
Yikes. Now that was tense. I really do feel like a clock now.
Sorry I didn't review earlier, but I had no way of getting online.
| StrawberryPajamas chapter 7 . 7/23/2012
Such a sad ending:( but all the same very well-written! I'll miss this story, but I'm looking forward to the next installment!
A school shut down due to a mysterious government conspiracy? Ryan getting in a fight with the Doctor? Yes please!:)
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/18/2012
I literally dropped everything I was doing when saw this chapter was up:) And might I say - excellent job!
I really liked the argument between Ryan and the Doctor: it makes their relationship more real, and not so much the completely idealistic 'Rose/Doctor' companionship. Also, I liked all the drama at the end where the Doctor pops in to save the day - as I've said before, I seriously love the way you write the Doctor! Great job!
I truly believe the real Doctor Who writers over at BBC could take a lesson or two from you about creating aliens. The Nothing could totally be an episode! Way better than Peg Dolls or Headless Monks could, I think...
Write more soon!
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/18/2012
GODDAMNED STUPID COMMERCIAL BREAK!
I wanna see the next bit!
| Hooded-Figurine chapter 5 . 7/17/2012
I sincerely hope that you find time in your undoubtedly busy schedule to continue your amazing works. This is some of the best Dr. Who fanfiction I have ever read. Even the names of the stories are spot-on, sounding just like episode titles. You should e-mail the BBC, they have a department for suggestions. :)
| StrawberryPajamas chapter 5 . 6/15/2012
Great chapter! So this whole Nothing mystery is finally coming together - awesome! haha i liked when the Doctor insisted Ryan go with him: he's always so loyal to his companions, and you captured that very well. And the ending was exciting - i was on the edge of my seat! haha again great job:)
| HawkRider chapter 5 . 6/15/2012
Yikes, this is tense... You're winding me up like a clock. I can't wait for the next update!
But seriously, how could the government do that... Actually, I can see what they would. They sacrificed many to save even more. But that still isn't a good thing to do!
| The Wisher chapter 4 . 4/22/2012
Congratulations on the your accomplishments so far four chapter and going.
Yes I have been horrible enough to review the previous chapter which was in addition another fantastic shenanigan.
The highlights of chapter three were;
-Fort Knox made out of plywood. Ryan’s comical timing is spot on and increasing addictive.
-The burning house metaphor. How can I describe the genius, imagery and truth embeded in it. The metaphore directly shows thatsomething is not right with the nothing planet. This brings me to my next point. The political kerfuffle. The way you have made the government of this planet deal with the issues is... sooooooo good. Just refusing to acknowledge the monsters is so typical and because they can't do anything about it supossivly is so don't they call for the shadow proclamation. The motivation behind this must have great intricacies off which I hope to see in the following chapters. (bear in mind I'll be happy with any new chapters)
Moving onto chapter four "The Monsters are revealed"
To tell you the truth the idea of Zombies terrifying you've hit the nail on the head with one of my childhood nightmares. My favourite moment in the whole chapter "This drew Ryan's attention to one of the zombie-men's chest, where he could make out a cracked rib cage, peaking through a rip in the skin. He watched the man's lungs heaving in and out." Graphic and Gory and all too real.
On both the main characters both excellently written true to themselves and spectacular.
(Sorry about all the praise just a little excited)
While I can see where Gallagher doesn’t believe them... I feel that he should have been more desperate for a solution rather than blocking the doctor.
Looking forward to future developments
P.S. I'm glad that you don't beg for reviews as my respect for you is high.
| Sanguine Ink chapter 4 . 4/17/2012
Zombies! I mean, horrible, zombies, but I'm grinning so big right now.
Poor Doctor and his nosebleed.
And hey, it's never too late to update. The quicker the better obviously, but just so long as you do!