Reviews for Revenge for His Brother
accounting professional chapter 4 . 11/13/2011
I liked this chapter. Yeah, It was rushed. But it solved the crime. So that was good.
francis2 chapter 4 . 11/13/2011
Hi, yes it was kind of rushed but the plot was well thought out. You could try and improve it. You're not bad for being so young, you'll learn more just by doing. Good luck!
accounting professional chapter 3 . 11/7/2011
I loved this chapter. I loved how they figured out in time that Danny was poisoned and by whom. I also loved that they were able to figure out who Danny shot. Please continue this story.
4thofFive chapter 3 . 11/6/2011
I think you're doing really well. The more you write the better you'll get. Reading helps a lot too. Keep up the good work.
accounting professional chapter 2 . 11/6/2011
Good chapter. I hope that the 5-0 team find out that the nurse made Danny sick. Please continue this story.
True Blue Aussie chapter 2 . 11/5/2011
Great story, just when you think everything is going to be fine, another twist pops up. cant wait to read more!
Fritz chapter 2 . 11/5/2011
You have good ideas and have great potential to be a good writer. You just need to learn more about grammer and story structure. Keep trying and you will get better. There are always going to be some readers that are going to be mean. Just listen to the ones that offer constructive criticism and are trying to help and not just trying to be mean. You could also get a beta to help you with your story.
Les1 chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
I like this story. It is an interesting idea and I'm always up for some hurt Danny in the fic I read. The only suggestion I would make is to consider getting a beta reader. You're doing well on your own, but a beta reader would help you polish it up and make it even better.
EmperialGem21 chapter 2 . 11/5/2011
hey not too bad, but I would definitely get a beta reader and look over your story as you've a few misspelled words. Now I'm interested in what is Danny's medical history and why he wont take the medication. Keep it up :).
Maudlin Mush chapter 2 . 11/5/2011
hmm, the plot thickens. Interesting twist, using a poison that will build over time. thanks for the update.
BobWhite chapter 1 . 11/1/2011
Pls go on with this story!
4thofFive chapter 1 . 11/1/2011
Good job!