Reviews for The Unexpected of Shion
Nezumi one lover chapter 1 . 4/15/2016
More please this is good
STRANG3STWRIT3RINandOUT01 chapter 1 . 6/16/2015
Ohohoho, what if it was YY?! Hahaha! I'm making a story like that! (runs off)
P.S. Is it there another chapter~?
Mythicall Moon chapter 1 . 5/31/2014
Curious, but nice.
Seca D chapter 1 . 4/3/2013
sweety you need better vocabulary other than that great plot also spelling mistakes out the butt. Fix it and im sure a publisher will help you out with your stories. Work on it though
Guest chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Please update its to amazing to stop!
Luscinia's Lullaby chapter 1 . 11/14/2012
OMG! This is awesome, are you gonna upload a new chapter soon? I would love to read more D
Tt chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
awesone story
ke chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
I couldn't even understand it, sorry.
SunshineTakara chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
LOL! Nezumi's reaction is really funny!
Queen of the Avast Seas chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
plzzzz update soon! :DDD

i wanna see their baby!
river933 chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
I think the previous reviewers kinda summed it up for me. One, that I like the story especially because this is the only m-preg out there and it would be pretty awesome if this fanfic got continued. Two, that the grammar if just...bad. I found my self rewording sentences in my head to understand it, as well I think it is because of the awkward sentences that Shion and Nezumi come off as out of character. If all possible maybe you should try to ask a friend to edit your work so the story comes more naturally in English, because really you only need a few changes to make this story shine!
LoveDust chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
*thumbs up* GREAT!
hanabimonai chapter 1 . 11/15/2011
Well you have an interesting story to tell. I didn't know what "mpreg" was until I saw the summary at the top. Now I know.

As others have said, there's the OOC issue. Also, it might help build the mood better if you get help with grammar and correct word usage. It's clear what you want to say, but the tone/mood is harmed by the constant present tense for things that happened in the past, and occasional misuse of words like "suspension" (instead of "clothesline").

Ganbatte ne! ;)
moniqe007 chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
Oh, I forgot. I think it could be nice if they have two twins sons:D
moniqe007 chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
When will be next chapter?:) Really nice story, I'm curious about next part:D
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