|Reviews for Of Age|
| Guest chapter 31 . 12/4
I'm sorry but I won't continue to read your story ( chapter 31). Even though I loved the story in the beginning you kind of made me hate the story after chapter 29. Why do you suddenly bring sho in this whole mess? Weren't there enough problems already? I honestly was pissed when she suddenly still had feelings for sho after he tried to kiss her! ( cue furious emoji)
| Michiyo chapter 43 . 11/24
You have written such a wonderful story! I enjoyed it a lot! Thank you for sharing!
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/17
Great chapter - I wonder when she will find out that Kuon is Ren...
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/17
Wonderful chapter! :)
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/17
I really hope Kyoko's mother won't find her. Awesome chapter! :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/17
I'm excited to read another one of your stories - this looks great. :)
| Roxas fleur chapter 18 . 6/22
LME is the shortened version of Lory's Majestic Entertainment? lmao i can see him using that embarassing name
| ladygraywolf chapter 44 . 4/3
This story is perfect. You did a great job. I especially loved the ending and watch the characters grow and mature. I'm glad there is at last a story where eveyone ended up happy, minus 1. Thank you so much..I hope you will continue to write more to this story.
| MyLuckTookAWalk chapter 44 . 12/4/2015
well, what can I say? this was ana awesome fanfic, I loved reading it, I really enjoyed every chapter Thank you so much for writing!
| MyLuckTookAWalk chapter 36 . 12/3/2015
Saena's dead ...I saw that coming ! I swear I did XD omg how will Kyoko react now? I'm off to read the next chap!
| MyLuckTookAWalk chapter 32 . 12/3/2015
the mini heart attack at the start ... lol but this was a really nice chap!
| misherukuro chapter 44 . 11/14/2015
Well written thanks for the fic. ~,~
| era-romance chapter 44 . 11/2/2015
i would have made him burst into hysterical laughter but thats just me
| era-romance chapter 14 . 11/2/2015
yes, torture yashiro more wah ha ha ha
| Rose chapter 43 . 8/5/2015
A lovely little story, and, quite truthfully, one of the best I've seen on this site for this fandom. Though ample in room for improvement, you managed to successfully pace the plot appropriately while considering the legal, emotional, and realistic implications of your characters actions, resulting in a story that was both refreshing and believable.
The characters were enteratining, and the dialogue was wonderfully chosen, portraying the individual voices of the characters beautifully. That said, there was a little bit too much reliance on action and dialogue to move the story along and fill scenes. Complimenting that dialogue with more descriptiveness, mood building, setting, and overall thinking, enhances the work and lends it a more natural, fulfilling quality.
Thankfully though, you have all the makings for that as I can see the foundation of such rich writing in your scenes such as the ones in this chapter and in the funeral for Tsuruga. A bit more practice and editing, and I think you'd be fantastic even for professional writing.
However, while I can continue praising your delightful dialogue, well-personified characters, and clever use of manga plot to work within your story, there are issues and those, are perhaps more important as a writer to target.
Your other issue is with the conflict and drama in the story. You litter dramatic moments through this work like a soap opera without fully tying up the loose ends. While not overwhelmingly dramatic, the issue of Kyoko's mother, father, business associate, and Ren's identity are all very heavy emotional issues that deserve to be teased out and built gradually and lead to natural conclusion.
As is Sanae's business partner kidnaps her half-sister for seemingly no reason (she's not even related to Sanae) and we never learn what his business is or the if he has been taken care of (or if he'll come for Kyoko in the future(. Sanae herself, despite showing extremely selfish and survivalist behavior, commits suicide, again, for no real purpose as there was no indication the situation was grave enough it was unsalvageable or dangerous enough to require death, and Kyoko's feelings for her mother's death are brushed aside in favor of a quick conclusion.
Similar issues arise with other "conflicts" and dramas such as Moko's relationship, Sho and Kyoko, Kyoko's injury (those injuries take around 3-4 months to heal), her being drugged, meeting her father, and so on.
Also...not particularly important, but the legal age of majority in Japan is 20.