|Reviews for It's a Bit of a Long Story|
| Silverbengal chapter 7 . 2/24
Are you serious? You're stopping there? I need to know what's up with Kiki!
| LadyoftheUnicorn chapter 7 . 2/17
REENSIE, that was one of my fave chaps EVA! Can u pretty please update soooon. Thx sooo much, LadyoftheUnicorns
| I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly chapter 7 . 10/15/2012
Da heck is wrong with them? *suspicious look at Kara* That ditzy floozie's probably gonna post those pics on FB or something and and screw up Shelby's life! Ugh! Wake UP, Shel! You're not that stupid! Sneak into her house and steal the phone! It can't be a challenge...
I just have one suggestion-whenever you write something, ask yourself, "If I delete this, will it affect my plot line?" If the answer is NO, don't put it in. That'll make the chapters shorter, the plot cleaner and the important bits distinguishable from superfluous details.
Like, "Do I need to keep the description of their dress-shopping? Do I need to tell the readers that they were getting them custom made? Do I need to describe the club and it's membership? Do I need to tell people that Shelby's dress is most likely going to be blue?" Suppose the answers are NO, NO, NO and YES, because in a future chapter, Kara will do something that causes the blue colour to run...then delete the first two, and keep the third.
That way, the reader will remember the important detail, and it won't be swamped beneath all the other UNimportant details.
I'm sounding awfully preachy and knowledgeable for an amateur *rolls eyes* so I'd like to tack on a 'PERSONAL OPINION PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD' disclaimer.
In the meantime, what I said earlier still stands-WHEN DO WE SEE SHELBYNESS? She's someone who caught HIVE's eye, she didn't do that by shopping for dresses and drinking hot chocolate. When are her skillz coming in?
And what I said before THAT stands, too. Enjoyable writing style, fun and easy to read, congrats on writing long chapters XD and you've portrayed a school girl's life quite well! I should know, I'm not at all familiar with what a typical school girl is like in America *rolls eyes again* and you've *made* me quite familiar!
| Ella chapter 7 . 10/5/2012
update update! i love this story!:) E
| Kukipye chapter 7 . 9/4/2012
I have... REVIEWED!
Please continue soon! I really like your story - the way it flows it pretty good.
(I think Kara was taking pictures of Shelby and Travis...)
| Shnizel chapter 7 . 7/7/2012
I can't wait for you to update! :D
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/6/2012
Eep! Great chapter, I lovelovelove it, but I can't wait to see Laura's either! *realwinkthatdoesn'tlooklikeaspasm* :D
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/3/2012
| StarkidHufflepuffI chapter 6 . 6/27/2012
OMG YAY! You updated thankyouthankyouthankyou! I've been really busy, and I still am, so I'll read the chapter later today. *happy dance*
| Shnizel chapter 6 . 6/25/2012
Interesting... I love how Shelby's train of thought just keeps wandering lol...
| StarkidHufflepuff chapter 5 . 6/24/2012
I'm sorry. If I haven't yet bugged the crap out of you, I would be amazed. I really do know what it's like when you get so tired of a story you're working on, and don't want to write any more of it, but this story is too awesome to be stopped. Again, I'm sorry for annoying you when you could have brain cancer for all I know.
| StarkidHufflepuff chapter 5 . 6/7/2012
So yeah, life's been an uncool tornado. I'm sorry about that, but last time I wasn't bugging you and so I hope this time I'm not. Please update.
| StarkidHufflepuff chapter 5 . 5/22/2012
Yay, you updated! Sorry I didn't review sooner, but I've been busy. Also, OhEmGeez! Laura's mom is pregnant! I always imagined Laura having mischievous little brothers. :) Keep up the amazing work!
| Blessed Yet Cursed chapter 5 . 5/20/2012
Clap, clap, CLAP!
finally u made it shorter.
I mean literally, each chapter was like 4000 words or something.
Thankfully u shortened it.
And also it's good that u shorten it.
It makes a better form of SUSPENSE!
I love that word.
One day u could become a famous author.
U are really good with OC's
Which means excellent creativity.
Love ya -"
| Shnizel chapter 5 . 5/17/2012
Heheheh! So cute! Loved it! Make sure you update soon!