|Reviews for Pokemon Special: Darkness|
| ej chapter 2 . 9/11/2014
are you some kind of author becuse you should be
| Angelsong chapter 5 . 3/28/2013
Hello! I'm the person who goes around finding storys that I think are good, and then reminding the authers to update them. So, here I am, reminding you to update. Honestly I think this fanfic looks really promising, so not to be rude, but hurry up!
| Guesty123 chapter 5 . 3/3/2013
I found this to very interesting!
The mysterious people are so interesting... What'll they to do next to the dexholders? GAH, I'M SO HYPED FOR THIS!
Well I do see mistakes, so why don't you get a beta-reader? I'm sure many people will be happy to help. I'm sorry I can't... A heh heh.. I don't have an account... And if I say the edits like this... Well... It wouldn't be pretty...
BUT! Your story is awesome and I really think you should update soon! (If you can that is..) :3
| Godescalc chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
Paragraphing has rules, you know. You need to start a new line whenever a character speaks and whenever the subject of the narrative changes. Failing to do this produces unintelligible text-blocks that are too much of a bother to even try to read. Bear that in mind in future chapters, because things like this severely degrade the quality of writing.
That aside, you're writing dialogue incorrectly and missing apostrophes in some contractions. For example, ["Man i hope Red is as dumb as i think he is" Green thought while flying towards Sevi] would be ["Man, I hope Red is as dumb as I think he is," Green thought while flying towards Sevi]. You need to place commas inside the quotation marks when the character hasn't finished speaking or the dialogue is followed by a speech verb. Otherwise, you end it with a period.
You also make other miscellaneous errors, like capitalizing names in some instances but leaving them lowercase in others, or ending some sentences with periods and others with nothing at all. Proofreading is a must when it comes to writing, especially if you're making so many obvious mistakes. If you aren't able to edit your own work, find someone who knows what they're doing — you clearly don't — and see if they'll help. Beta-readers can be extremely helpful.
Explaining your characters in the prologue is a horrible mistake. Characters should always be as realistic as you can manage, and most people don't just walk up to someone new and give them an hour-long lecture on what kind of person they are and what they've been through. Gradually show how your characters act throughout the story and give indicators of what their personalities are like through what they say and do. Giving a summary of their behavior is bland and takes away from the quality of the story.
There isn't much quality to be found here to begin with, though, so I don't see why that's too important.
| impatentreader chapter 4 . 7/9/2012
please put the next chapter up soonnnnnn
| Rima chapter 4 . 2/11/2012
It's true that there are mistales and stuff but i'm still looking forward to the next chapter :D
(sorry for my bad english .)
| A Rampaging Plot Device chapter 2 . 11/19/2011
Have you heard of the phrase "Put some effort into your work"?