|Reviews for Star Wars: Balance of Power|
| MountainLord-92 chapter 20 . 10/13/2012
You accidentally called Admiral Barkley a General.
Some interesting revelations, Anakin is Jada's father and Tojar is already known enemy of the Jedi. Also nice to see Jada's feelings for Gideon admitted for the first time.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 16 . 5/17/2012
the plot thickens, the jedi know all about Sithious but this may be his plan all along.
and a bounty hunter is now on their trail, i look forward to the action that that will entail
| MountainLord-92 chapter 13 . 3/10/2012
It is good that the corellians are not instantly trusting the Freedom Alliance, especially wedge, that's very realistic. and i like the inclusion of Jacen (and presumably Jaina) and Anakin Solo.
not sure what to think about Ti, couldnt help but notice how similar her discovery is to Qui-Gon-Jin finding Anakin Skywalker, and then Obi-Wan promising to train him. i get the feeling that her similarity to Anakin's dead wife may prove to be important, i certainly think they will grow a lot closer than simply master and apprentice. her character is completely different to any of the others, it will be interesting to see how she develops.
there are quite a few typos, this is happening every chapter and it is becoming difficult to ignore, they all things that spell checker will not pick up on, hence why you have missed them. you should probably proof-read before you upload
| MountainLord-92 chapter 12 . 3/6/2012
what do you mean Gideon has no ship, didnt Jada just allow him to keep the Phantom Hawk? has something happened that i am not aware of.
that aside i liked the space battle with the uber-star destroyers and the twist at the end of the chapter was very clever.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 11 . 2/28/2012
great chapter, the action was brilliant and i like how you managed to include some humour from Gideon. i also liked the furthur insight into Jada's past, look forward to the next update!
| MountainLord-92 chapter 10 . 2/16/2012
Gideon's story now makes perfect sense, glad his reasons for having the Falcon are not illegal, though i imagine the reason he was there to witness the event has something to do with Sithious. liked Jada's analysis of his character; slightly more curious about her now, who are her parents i wonder.
looking forward to the duel between Khan and Jada, if your other fights are anything to go on it should be good.
one critisism, Wedge and Gideon appear to be very calm considering a Sith Lord is trying to kill Jada and has her at his mercy.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 9 . 2/15/2012
it is fairly certain that Krull and Bison are going to discover that Sithious is not as weak as they think, i wonder how he will react to betrayal.
and Jada is Luke's apprentice, wasnt expecting that. i like this continuity to the actual saga.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 8 . 2/15/2012
It is so nice to see Wedge, one of my favourite characters from the original trilogy, and with a very realistic insight into his thoughts about where he is now; i agree that he would not be happy about settling down to a life of politics after his life as a fighter pilot in the rebellion.
Gideon must be regretting taking the falcon now, he would certainly be safely on his own way by now and no one would be any the wiser. hopefully Jada vouches for him
| MountainLord-92 chapter 7 . 2/15/2012
now that was an exciting chapter! i fell into the trap of thinking that the small reptiles were Kahn's pets, you played that very well.
really enjoyed the fight, in case you couldnt guess, the detail was excellent and the slight character development was good too
| MountainLord-92 chapter 6 . 2/15/2012
Maul was always my favourite sith, so good to see another of his species in the villain role. very intrigued by what his pets are.
it is interesting to see a little bit of Sithious' back story, i'm sure more will follow.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 5 . 2/14/2012
interesting to get an insight into the Dark lord's plans, wonder if he realises that he has ruined his own plan if Jada manages to get back to coruscant alive, she has certainly realised that it is not as simple as he is trying to make it appear.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 4 . 2/14/2012
the mystery deepens, so the sith have returned, but Darth Sithious? not the most imaginative of names. Krull and Bison are more inspired, like your description of their respective species; especially as Bison is something completely new.
good exciting chapter again.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 3 . 2/14/2012
another good chapter. Gideon is becoming more and more mysterious, as is Jada; liking their bantering relationship. also like what you have done to C-3PO, i wonder how that happened.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 2 . 2/14/2012
much better in terms of typos and continuity errors well done.
as exciting as the previous chapter, liked Jada's failed use of the mind trick along with her preminition. i liked your explanation of how the galaxy has changed since the end of episode six with the freedom alliance, improved hologram technology and the hutts, though i think you went into too much detail with the hutts.
| MountainLord-92 chapter 1 . 2/14/2012
firstly they are droids, not androids, it's going to get very annoying if this is not corrected later on. there is great inconsitency, one minute Ty Kra's henchmen are humans then they are trandoshan: 'The only reason for this was if he was luring the smuggler into a trap. The bounty hunter had to be planning to kill him. This became more apparent when two of his human colleagues.' The last sentence is also incomplete, two of his human colleagues what? did a tapdance? keeled over from the heat? appeared? there are also a few other minor typos, but i am less concerned about them.
negatives aside, i think the story is great; certainly the best star wars fanfic i have read so far. the fight was very well detailed and exciting. i like your jedi looking forward to how she develops, and she doesnt have a blue or green lightsaber, yay, they are incredibly overused colours. Ty Kra' is quite cool too. your build up to the fight was well played and i did like the sense of mystery created at the end by the revelation of the ancient sith DROID.
i do hope the rest of the chapters maintain the standard you have set.