|Reviews for Unexpected Propositions|
| mythlover20 chapter 7 . 1/13/2012
I know you said this chapter was only a bridge between two parts of your story, but I really liked it.
I enjoy the way you write Fenris; he seems to be much closer to how we see him at the end of the game, rather than stuck in the same broody, angsty, emo loop trap from the first two acts that a lot of other writers seem to fall into. When taken in succession with his character development in the game he grows more mature as his relationship with Hawke progresses.
Of course, I haven't played the Mark of the Assassin or Legacy yet, so his canon character arc may (and probably is) totally different, but I like your progression of his character.
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to your next update. :)
| blumarshin chapter 6 . 12/29/2011
I don't think you do yourself enough justice. Your writing style and length is great and the characters are fine, Varric last chapter ended fine aswell so have little bit more confidence in yourself and be proud of what you write. Im currently enjoying your fic and can't wait for your next update :-)
| Marianne Bennet chapter 6 . 12/18/2011
Your actions scenes are pretty good. :) Don't doubt yourself.
I enjoyed this chapter. What I'd like to see is a meeting between the Hawke sisters -is Bethany resentful of her sister's choices?
| BuriedBeneath chapter 5 . 12/3/2011
As always, loving this story. I'm enjoying reading your version of Hawke's post-game life. Especially a Hawke who made such similar decisions in-game as my own.
I also found it funny in my second playthrough when Gamlen imitates the dog and continuously insults him. So when the option came up to name him, I giggled maliciously and typed "G-A-M..."
| Marianne Bennet chapter 5 . 12/3/2011
That bit about Hawke having sprouted "white hair and pointed ears" made me chuckle. And I get what you mean by having Fenris and Hawke talk in your head. I swear, for me it's sometimes like walking around with a couple of ghosts.
Ah, you're better at Varric than you think. XD
I'm enjoying this story far too much.
| Marianne Bennet chapter 4 . 11/28/2011
I love how human you make these potentially larger than life characters. That's always something I personally have trouble with (particularly with a certain brooding lanky elf) so I admire it all the more in your writing.
I'm interested in seeing your pair while they were still courting (if that is what you can call Fenris running back and forth between loving Hawke and being initimidated by his empty past). Just a thought.
| QualityRachni chapter 4 . 11/28/2011
This is delightfully well written. I particularly love how well you've captured Fenris so far :)
I suggest calling the dog something a little daft, like Nug.
Looking forward to the next part :)
| DKAllayna chapter 3 . 11/22/2011
Excellent story! I'm really enjoying this. I love Fenris, I'm with you all the way on the F!Hawke/Fenris romance. Anyway, I think you're doing pretty well on keeping Fenris in character, I know how hard it can be sometimes xP
At any rate, I like your writing style- pretty good descriptions, but there are a few grammar mistakes. You seem to have a bit of a problem with run-on sentences xD
Anyway, thanks for an excellent story and keep writing! :D
| Marianne Bennet chapter 3 . 11/22/2011
Very well put together dialogue. You seem to definitely have Aveline's character down. One thing: while dialogue is your strong point, some of your descriptions, particularly those concerning characters' motivations and background relationships (Aveline's and Hawke's for example) feel a bit heavy and sometimes clunky. Show rather than tell. Give bits of information and clues away in describing characters' behavior rather than lengthy synopses of past relationships.
I hope I'm being constructive. I do really enjoy this story.
| BuriedBeneath chapter 1 . 11/9/2011
Another Templar-supporting fem!Hawke rogue. I was beginning to think mine was the only one.
Glad to see one that isn't a mage, for once. Shaking things up. ;)
You seem to have maintained Fenris' personality well. Nice job. I'm writing a fic with him in it too, so I know how difficult his personality can be to nail down.
Please update soon! :)
| Marianne Bennet chapter 1 . 11/8/2011
I'm in the same boat when it comes to first DA fic. I just posted my first Fenris/F!Hawke piece an hour ago.
Argh, I adore Fenris. You've written him pretty true to the game here, which is always difficult. I appreciate your Hawke's attitude -three years was a very long time :P -and I like their relationship's dynamic very much.
A promising start. Do continue.