Reviews for Sunrise
ClosedAccount521 chapter 3 . 12/3/2011
*Reviews chapter so that review count is up to 20"*
ClosedAccount521 chapter 4 . 12/2/2011
Great Story so far. nice job on the detail, enough that we (the readers) can envision the scene, but not too much that gives us a mental overload of images.

Can't wait to see what the next chapters have in store.
digitalstorm977 chapter 4 . 11/28/2011
But ... but ... I almost always review, blackmail is just mean -cries-
fuyuhiko chapter 4 . 11/28/2011



I know I said that I would keep on reviewing - and when I said that, I meant it - but what you said at the end; "Now, if any of you wants the next chapter, I need to get at least 20reviews!" sort of annoyed me. You seem like a nice person, buuuuut, in all honesty, I think if you will only write if others review, then you should really rethink the reasons why you write.

...And, quite frankly, it's very unlikely that you will get twenty reviews on this one chapter, considering that you have gotten sixteen for the past 3 chapters.

Anyway. I hope I've made my point. I don't want to sound like a rude bitch, but yeah.
Meandor711 chapter 4 . 11/27/2011
Very good chapter, i liked the drama in it and Roxas appears :D And update soon please, its a pleasure to read this story :)
IntergalacticToaster chapter 4 . 11/27/2011
Yay new chapter! *happy dances* Roxas really does have gravity-defying hair. I mean, he must use a lot of gel just to keep it that way!

Wow you're evil! Asking for 20 reviews before you update the next chapter? I like it! Hahah. Just hope we do get 20 reviews
Victoria5624 chapter 4 . 11/27/2011
Ok I failed to mention this in the review before, but; I know that he's supposed to be "a poor blacksmith" but it just goes sooooo much better the other way!
Victoria5624 chapter 4 . 11/27/2011
Hmm I never do sign in... Woops. Hah YOU ARE EVIL! AND GREEDY! Asking for 20 reviews like that! Gosh! First you update late then you want more? But... Me being the good friend that I am, I will give you insperation. (LOLZ XP just kidding but I WILL try to help)

Okay what should happen is that was secretly roxas' first time outside the palace walls because he is secretly royalty. the first time they meet he tries to talk to her but she runs away. The second time she goes out is because Olette (*sob* my human candy) says "Didnt you know namine that with an excellent dress, excellent shoes and an excellent purse are needed?" then shell go out agin and run into him. He will then talk to her and cause her to be late which results into a beating. Then she's all hurt and she staggers out of the house and roxas followed her so he hear everything and saw what was happening through the shades. He will take her to a friends house *cough* SoraXKairi *coughcough*. they will tend to her and roxas visits often. Then she's all healed and to celebrate, he takes her out... After like, a week, of hanging out *cough* DATING *coughcough* he invites her to a ball and she accepts. When she goes, he is in prince attire... I think you catch my drift.

And don't think that I'm not still mad at you! Cuz I am! I just gave you a WHOLE story there! Use it wisely! Okay, until next time. PEACEOUT AND STAY SEXY! (XP LOLZ)
Victoria5624 chapter 3 . 11/19/2011
Okay I apologize cuz I'm not signed in...


*hyperventilates* you... Are... Amazing! Omg this is the perfect 'day before your birthday' birthday gift! Yeeeeahh my birthdays tomorrow... I'm turning 13! Why is Olette evil? I don't want her to be a heartless! Olette's supposed to be SUPER sweet! Like candy! HUMAN CANDY! Lol but I'm happy/sad...
Meandor711 chapter 3 . 11/19/2011
I love this chapter :D The way you write every scene makes it wanting me to have more :3 And i think that you need more backround story about Namine and Olette, just to make us understand how she turned this way :) I think your gonna do that but i just wanted to add it :D

Update soon :D I honestly cant wait for more :)
IntergalacticToaster chapter 3 . 11/19/2011
This fic is beautiful! I love it so much! Your descriptions are great too. I also loved how you described Namine's only strong part: her spirit. Her history with Olette makes me wants to figure out what happened, what caused her to turn out that way.

Not to discuss something totally unrelated to this review: OMG YOU GOT INHERITANCE BY CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI AND ARE A FAN! YAY ANOTHER FAN THAT I KNOW! (obviously I'm a fan too heheh... _" )
fuyuhiko chapter 3 . 11/19/2011
Agggh, it wouldn't let me review Chapter two. D: So here's my review for the second chappy:

Hello again! :3

I liked the way that you merged the flashbacks in with the actual story. One thing though; who is Aerith, and what is her relationship with Namine? I might have missed something. But anyway, nice job!

And my review for this chapter:

Hmm, interesting. So is Olette a human, or...? I'm guessing she isn't, heh. Oh well, I'll just wait and see~ xD

I still like your writing style.

I hope you don't mind having another reviewer!

I'll be watching. (That sounded a lot less creepy in my head...)
fuyuhiko chapter 1 . 11/19/2011
Hmm, not bad! I like your writing style. I loved the way that you described the sunrise. The chapter was a bit short, but oh well. c:
Victoria chapter 2 . 11/15/2011
*slaps face* (not yours, mine) oh my god! Olette is E-V-I-L... I always thought of Olette as a sweet angel. Especially in the video game. Poor Namine! I feel so bad for her! Erm- why is Aerith crazy? She SLAPED Namine in the shoulder after she just got the beating of the century... *facepalm* oh Aerith, you are so weird. Soooooooooo are you British? You never told me! *sob sobb* you kissed my shoe yet didn't tell me if you were British? *sob sobb* you suck! Haha just kidding! XP LOLZ but anyway I really liked it... Dum dumm duuuuuummmm! Cliffhanger! Why oh why? Mercy! I HATE cliffhangers cuz... Then it makes me want to read it EVEN MORE. Can I have a cupcake? I read/reviewed instead of doing my history assignment... That's GOTTA count for something... A virtual cupcake maybe? ':D
MoonPhyr chapter 2 . 11/14/2011
This is a very interesting way on viewing the world of Kingdom Hearts. It kinda reminds me of a harsher version of Cinderella...

I was rather surprised to see Olette being this sick and twisted monster (literally) and Aerith being a weird nurse. I keep feeling bad for poor Namine. My heart sank when she earlier said Today might be the day and she still gets abused by Olette :

I was rather confused at one point, though. I knew it was a flashback, but it came out of nowhere. My one suggestion is probably a pagebreak or a sentence that implies its a flashback, like "If only she knew back then." and probably end the flashback with something like "Namine could not believe how wrong she was since the first time she met her mistress".

But other than that, the story's going great! Maybe there might be something that will turn this all around. After all, the day's just begun. Hopefully it doesn't end too soon for Namine!
20 | Page 1 2 Next »