|Reviews for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, the movie musical script|
| BroadwayDreamGirl chapter 1 . 5/25
I love this! Thanks for doing it!
| kevin.brazil.7 chapter 1 . 3/2/2013
I liked it generally. I liked the rearranging of some of the scenes.
-I liked the scene following "Someone Like Me" going straight into the encounter with the Bishop of Basingstoke
-I liked the "Once Upon A Dream" scene happening before "Murder Murder"
-The ending was good, the "chase and confrontation" would work well on screen, gives the story more danger
-The first half flowed very well, I did generally like it, you had some good ideas, though some of your dialogue was a bit too modern and I do not find myself missing the father character
-The Board of Govonors scene is greatly missed, it is a character establishing scene and without it I am unaware of what Jekyll is trying to accomplish. I mean I know because I know the story, but it is not fully explained in this version
-I felt the songs "In His Eyes" "The Way Back" and "Confrontation" to be out of place. While I love those songs in the show, I feel that they do not fit into your screenplay and slow down the plot
| ruth chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
not that bad, but i'm trying to be an observer and just want to point things out that i think you might need to look over. the good things i did like about it is the beginning of mr. Utterson walking down the street and looks at jekyll's journey, good use of that, the musical stage really didn't use that much when i think now it should of. anyway, very interesting and a good way to drive your readers in. i really like how you made jekyll an interesting character in this one, very determined and you can feel that jekyll is losing himself in each scene when hyde takes over. that hyde has really won in the very end. i wasn't to sure about taking the father out, but the way you handle it, was just fine that you made jekyll have a different meaning of why he was experiencing in the first place. liked that you cut some of the songs and was focusing on the story more on a bit more on jekyll and hyde, since it is about them. i was sort of in the edge of my seat and exciting in a lot of scenes. now for the bad things, as a person who has read numerous of film scripts, i would suggest, actually highly recommend, that you cut a lot of the dialogues in every scene. don't change the lyrics or the ones that you place, they're just fine where they are. but really cut a lot of the dialogue that is unimportant in the story. for example when one of the lines said why jekyll always care for the poor and where i came from didn't have poor people. for that, you just need that jekyll aways care for the poor, and maybe he's in disgust after that, an expression of disgusting poor people. something like that. same thing with jekyll, cut it a lot of it, keep the ones that are important to jekyll only. if you want to know what i mean about dialogues, how about reading a few film scripts and you'll get why the dialogues need to be short. interesting intro to the red rat scene when jekyll and mr. utterson enter it, and then the song for it, good idea shortening it, and then that was it. it probably need a bit more, went too fast for the intro of why they are there or even better ye, describe the red rat place, just suggesting it. the facade opening i did like, but then i got confused of who what was saying and their actions confused me, a suggestion. dangerous game song was actually really good, keep that. anyway, you took out the way back song. why did you take it out, to me i find it really important to jekyll who lost all his hope from himself and he knows that hyde is winning. also for the story to flow with it, it was your choice, but still, i think it needed it, that's probably just me, since it is my favorite music of the entire musical. but could you at least put it somewhere near the end, like after the hyde kills lucy or something before jekyll and hyde are killed. sorry if i'm obsessing over a 2 minute song, again that just me. the ending is rather interesting, no wedding, i was surprise, in a good way, except that i wish i could feel mr. utterson's struggle of not wanting to kill jekyll but wants to kill hyde, that should have been intense with mr. utterson. how would you feel if you were about to kill your own friend, think about it. like how you brought once upon a time thing, much better of jekyll controlling his body back a good connection for emma and their love. and again try to sort of build up the shooting of jekyll/hyde thing a bit more, not to much. the very end of the scene after both of them died, i got confused that i thought mr. utterson was still reading from jekyll's journal, you know like a all this reading from the beginning was going to flashbacks, but the journal is in his lab, closed, not open, again confused. did like that mr. utterson finds it, but i would suggest that if he would just say "the confessions of henry jekyll, how he did it.. but when did it begin? will never be known to anyone," take the rest of the dialogue out, not important, and the other character's lines. something like this should be very quite. then you can still keep the came pans over hyde's body as he turns back to jekyll, and then how about zooming out of the room and then fade into black. again all these are suggestions and i'm trying to help with your script. you don't have to agree with me but things i've said bad were the things i would have done. you're not bad, just keep on practicing script writing and you'll make a good one.
| Deadeye517 chapter 1 . 4/21/2012
Fantastic. I really enjoyed reading your take on the musical and the way you presented the characters and the changes in the lyrics.
| PANDAmonium18 chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
omg this is amazing i you ever got to make this i would soooooo love to be lucy i love the way you have made her.
| BoqBeak chapter 1 . 12/3/2011
There were some really good things in this. I thought the ending was a real downer, but it was really interesting, as it reminded me even more so of the novel. But if you have read the novel, which I have no way of knowing either way, then you might remember that Jekyll thought that he could cut off Hyde any time that he wanted to. You know, you didn't need to cut out all the mentions of the "subplot" of Jekyll's father. I personally like that "subplot", but I understand your point of view, and have seen many Jekkies who thought the same way. But there is this scene that can be used before "Façade". It's called "I Need to Know". If you might want to put that "subplot" back in, and want to make it cool, you can add that number in, and also, I saw an interview of someone who saw the German touring cast, and they said some interesting things, like Poole told Dr. Jekyll that the man died right before "This is the Moment", so although I do not find this preferable in my own point of view, it can add a motive for why he worked on it for seven years. If you can ever listen to the 1994 concept album, then you can see that he was really concerned about the killings, as mentioned in the song "It's Over Now", which used to come right before "Confrontation". I could give a list of suggestions, but it is not necessary. If you look into "Jekyll & Hyde", you will see that Frank Wildhorn loved to play around with Jekyll & Hyde even after it opened on Broadway. You could use some of those for your own purposes, so you don't have to make such bending to the plot. But don't get me wrong, I really did like this. I can tell that you put a lot of time and creativity into this. Good job.
| OnFireGeek chapter 1 . 11/13/2011
love the musical. this was much more depressing with the finale. nice work. though.