Reviews for See If I Can Sleep
kezztip chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
Excellent first chapter - very original. I see Shelby runs her troupe even more ruthlessly than she ran Vocal Adrenaline, a natural progression for her character. I thought this was both well written and intriguing and cannot wait for Rachel to meet Jesse. Looking forward to more.
ReganX chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Wow! This story already has me hooked!

Rachel's viewpoint on the way the theatre is run, how the girls aren't allowed to talk to stagehands or anybody else, how their lives are so controlled and how they've never seen the light of day except when they're allowed on the roof is both intriguing and very disturbing. She accepts it as normal so she and the others must have been with Shelby from a very early age, if not from birth, so they have virtually no knowledge of the outside world. Shelby is regulating what they learn, what they read and what they watch, so she's controlling their access to knowledge about the world outside the confines of the theatre.

It begs the question of how long have these shows been going on, and how much outsiders know of what's going on, if they know anything.

Shelby had to get the girls from somewhere and, given the shortcomings some of them have as performers, and Shelby's desire for perfection, they must have joined the troupe at too young an age for Shelby to be able to do more than make an educated guess about their future potential, once she'd trained them, and/or Shelby was restricted to a limited pool from which she could choose girls for her troupe.

Rachel sounds very young, which could be partially an effect of being so sheltered and I could see Shelby deliberately treating her and the others as younger than they are so they don't grow more independent and she doesn't lose control of them, kind of like "Gypsy", when Madame Rose insisted that none of the kids in the act were over twelve, and Louise didn't know how old she was. I'd put Rachel at fourteen or fifteen based on her descriptions, still young enough to be trusting but growing more and more curious about her world.

I can't wait to see how Jesse fits into the picture, and how Will's troupe compares to Shelby's in terms of how things are run. If Jesse is unusually old to be starting with a troupe, I wonder if he's joining voluntarily (in which case Will's regime could be more permissive) and coming into the theatre environment from the wider world, or if he's been traded from another troupe or something.

Looking forward to reading more.
michemistic chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
So the THIS is the epic story! News of you and Androgenius collaborating together made me excited because we St. Berrians know that you two are powerhouses, so together it would be epic. You know how much I LOVE dark St. Berry and Spring Awakening. This definitely has the ominous feel and tone of the play; of course the *eventual* teenage revelations help too.

Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said it would be dark *and it will get darker*. The moment I read, “one of the many stagehands Rachel and the others are not allowed to talk to” got me curious and confused, why they weren’t allowed to speak with what is more or less they’re co-workers. I thought they were all adults in show-business. Then I read, “Rachel is turning into a woman now” and I made the horrific realization that they’re all teenagers-still kids. THAT made this become more and more dark and gruesome when I understood how these girls (and I’m sure their male counterparts) are, “living.”

How these girls were raised and abused is incredibly disturbing. It’s even more disturbing because not only are they essentially defying child labor laws but they are so sheltered it’s actually imprisonment. They have no idea what the outside world is like, they only know about families from fiction. Which begs the question, are they all orphans? Or worse, are Shelby and Will kidnappers? I thought those stage moms and pageant parents were bad-this is horrific to an all new level. Being treated as children and as workers, but at the same time they never had a childhood. It’s child-grooming for the entertainment industry. I know there are many fictitious works that portray this like Gypsy or even Memoirs of a Geisha. Even real life examples, Michael Jackson and his sibling’s, Judy Garland, Lindsay Lohan and sadly, many other celebrities childhood.

She doesn't understand how they can all be in the minority, let alone "token," when the four of them could easily overpower their two blond comrades if they wanted to. I too am confused how society deems ethnic people as, “minorities” when there are more of them than there are white people

It’s sad that these girls don’t consider each other family, because they were raised together, to me they are sisters because they grew up (and still growing up) together. What’s worse is that they’re all each other have. With the boys coming back and all these new adolescent hormones running rampant, everything will become more interesting and Rachel (and I’m sure some of the girls) will break many rules. I also love that I’m not the only one that think Rachel, Brittany and Tina as the more sensitive and emotional girls. Again, I wish they would all get along (maybe with the boys harassing them, they would stick up for each other).

Rachel (and Jesse) will know what love is, her thoughts on not knowing it firsthand rang true with me because I have yet to experience it myself (which is probably one of the reasons I’m a shipper…) but also, “Boys make her nervous. They weren't always bigger and taller than her, but now they are and she doesn't think she likes it.” HA! I’m not ashamed to admit that’s one of the reasons I’m nervous around boys too.

Also, I know you are not a fan of Rachel’s canon age, but I think this is the type fic where her being the baby of the group would fit with the tone of the story, especially the emphasis of her beginning to grow up makes me think of her as 14-15. The horrible mindest that she would risk the chance of being hit just for the chance of human affection (reminded me of Wendla, whose also 14) is telling enough. *Of course it’s not like I’m saying that because I LOVE Rachel’s canon age or anything, whatever would give you that idea?*

Please I NEED the next chapter!
Broadwayfreak5357 chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Whoa...This is intriguing. Still not sure if I like it. I think so. It's different. I definitely wants to know what happens! :)

How dark is dark? Like your other SA story? :P

I'm excited to see what happens next!


Why are the girls there? Why are they all so afraid of Shelby? Why can't they go outside? I have more questions, but you'll probably answer them in the following chapters?

I like this. It's weird & different & ...what's the word? Can't think right now lol!

But I wanna know what happens next! :D

xx Sage

ps. glad theres gonna be a happy ending :)

pps. Mercedes is still a bitch, in this AU too XD oh & I love Rach! :) bye xx
auhaes23 chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Great first chapter ! I loved to read it
Magdylena Black chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
I like it. And I can definitely see the darkness already... For some reason it makes me think of the movie Suckerpunch. Anyways, looking forward to reading more!
lips of poison and wine chapter 1 . 11/9/2011
I love both of you. This is a strong, promising start, and I can't wait for the rest!
sillystarshine chapter 1 . 11/9/2011
ooooo this sounds really good! and unique! update soon!
lylyevans chapter 1 . 11/9/2011
interesting great!deserves lots of chapters!
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