|Reviews for Mourning the World|
| Flynnigan Rider chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
... To be honest I'm kind of annoyed with PADma... But I like your story just the same
| HedwigBlack chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
This was very well written and I enjoyed the way you characterized the twins. You did a great job describing Parvati's feelings toward her sister. I also like that Parvati was reasonably angry without being bridezilla-ish... if that makes sense... The only criticism I have is that there are a few places where there are unnecessary commas but it doesn't interrupt the flow of the story. Nice job!
| silverandviolet chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Amazing, especially since I read Painted Plastic Smiles before. I think you struck well to the characterisations, especially Parvati's. I can totally imagine her yelling to Padma.
There was a nice flow to this one-shot, and that kept me going. There were no spelling and grammar mistakes.
| Fourmille d'idees chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
Wow, it was really sad, extremely well written too.
Funnily enough I didn't realize it was a companion piece and was actually quite confused because of that, so I went back and read Painted Plastic Smiles.
I loved them both! Of course, they brought back the ache of everyone who died in the war (and it's amazing that you were able to do that) but it really got me thinking about Lavneder. not to say I never thought about what happened to her (if she died or just changed) but it really, really made me think. And I was actually missing the old Lavender. Not that I hated her, I just didn't really like her...
I don't know if I should have felt worse for Padma or Parvati. I mean, Padma, who knows if she'll ever get passed everything and move on and Parvati will probably always be hurting for her sister. Not to mention how her wedding day went.
["These were the last words Padma ever spoke to her sister."] I really can imagine that happening which made that twice as sad..
| Satan Abraham chapter 1 . 12/7/2011
This was sad. But amazing.
| fantasyessa chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Grammar - 5/5 points
Spelling: 5/5 points
Characterization - 4/5 points
Flow - 4/5 points
Has a Strong Opening & Ending - 5/5 points
Plot is Clearly Represented - 3/4 points
Sensory Language, Descriptions, ect. - 3/3 points
Story is Posted BY the Due Date: 3/3 points (each day it's late loses you a point; after three days I won't accept any more)
Shows Ability of Writer Properly - 4/4 points
Challenge Met - 2/2 points (you either did or did not include the character and prompt at some point by name)
Total Points: 38/41
Good job! :)
| Mr Bellatrix Lestrange chapter 1 . 11/14/2011
Ooh I liked this, the other side of the story. I actually didn't read that it was the companion piece, so I was like, "heyyy this sounds(reads?) familiar." And it was quite a good take. You don't know how little I've ever read two pieces (of equal awesomness and descriptiveness and everything-good) of the same story, only different POV. A first! :3 /cheats hiatus/ /loves/.
| MissingMommy chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
Wow, Padma was being a total bitch. Make a statement on her sister's wedding day that's just uncalled for.
Though I have to say that it's believable that they didn't talk after that in that situation. But I never pictured the twins to be like that. They seem a little out of character, but there's really not that much to go on anyways.
Overall, I think you did a great job. :)
| Fire The Canon chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
Nice ending. You left it very open ended, which I like. Leaves us guessing.
After writing a bit of Parvati/Padma in one of my own fics, I have become quite a fan of their relationship. I think it should have been explored a little bit more in the books.
You wrote this well and it was very intriguing. I can imagine them all being a bit shattered after the war...even years later. I love the way you wrote Lavender, how her attack by Greyback kind of subdued her a little. The Lavender/Parvati relationship is one I have always enjoyed.
I also like how you didn't name who Parvati was marrying. It was very clever and fitted really nicely with the story. He didn't need to have a name.
A personal opinion of mine, is I prefer to read things in past tense, not present, but there were no spelling errors or anything, so it was enjoyable to read.
| ChocolateFrogCard chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
oh i loved this :) i read the other one earlier and this one is just as good :)
| Singing in the Dead of Night chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
That's so sad! But both stories were very well written, and you did a very good job. I'm working on a story with both twins (but way before when this one takes place) and I wanted to read some stories with them. This story did it! Great job!