Reviews for The Lives We Live: The Things We Wish For
StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
I really enjoyed that first bit, like how he's so excited about what's going on, but he still wishes that he took Ladd along- since it turns out that what's going on is a bit more complex than just feeling a little sick. :P

It's cool how Huey remains silent over dinner, but I'm wondering if he's actually a bit worried about the child, as well as excited. Or it may just be that he's so excited that he's worried about accidentally spoiling the news at the wrong time! :P I like the portrayal of Ladd here- it's nice to know that this time, he isn't thinking about killing Huey, like the way he'd tell Lua that he'd kill her. :P

I've noticed that your grasp on spelling and grammar is excellent, so great job on that. :D

I like how he rests a hand on his 'flat stomach'- like he's thinking about what's to come next, probably both in excitement and in worry. It's cool how well you explore his range of emotions here. :)

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Here is my critique and suggestions for you. Just so it's clear, I am, in no way, telling you off for making mistakes- we all make them in our writing, and that's okay. I am merely providing corrections for you. I hope this will be helpful to you. :)

. The description of 'raven' for black hair is becoming cliche now, so it might be better if you changed it to just black, or maybe dark would work nicely. :)

. ("Huey, this is great! We're having a baby, our baby!" smiling,) Since it's not a dialogue tag, and since it's the start of a new sentence in a sense, 'smiling' needs to be capitalised. :)

[ "Huey, this is great! We're having a baby, our baby!" Smiling, Ladd ]

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This is pretty good! I liked the upbeat, happy atmosphere in it. I like how you alternate between moods, too- I read one of your tragic fanfics, and that was great too, so it's good how you try to write different moods. It's always nice to try different stuff now and then, and I'm glad you're the type to do that. I like it when authors try out other things. :)

Keep up the good work. :)
Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin chapter 1 . 11/20/2011
What? Woah! Uhh... Go Huey? XD