Reviews for On a Pale Horse
Bevey99 chapter 1 . 1/17
Well that was something. Something good, but evil and disturbing. Good job.
Twilightsatellite chapter 1 . 6/29/2013
I got quite a thick skin to dark themes after reading Personality but I can't stand Edward being cruel to Bella! So I'm glad that though I steeled myself for evil Edward this wasn't the case. Not gonna babble about consensuality or other tricky subjects. So thanks for sharing only ;)
kinsano chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Wow!, super creepy and disturbing, but a good story.
cruiz107 chapter 1 . 2/16/2012
This story was sick and twisted. I loved it! It would be an awesome multi-chapter story.

The writing was great and the tone was on point. I dark theme was more than evident. And the visual of Dr. Newton was disgusting.

So the point is, this shit was amazing. :)
Kats Flower Girls chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
Oh my, this IS a darkella... I kinda have a hard time with cutting *shivers*

Mike's repulsiveness is also quite extreme *blah*

Is Carlisle the new Dr?

"It helped to label the rest of the world as normals, never letting herself forget that she was other." -This Bella is seriously messed in the head! What happened to her?

"Carlisle couldn't help but give her a quick glance of surprise here; the similarity between his nature and her crime more than a bit disturbing despite centuries of resigning himself to the lesser evil of hunting animals instead of man" -Oh this is vampisle!

I love Esme & Carlisle together!

Oh no, will curiosity kill the Edward? He could be used as a killing machine for crazy Bella... I have a feeling Newton would be first...

Well Edward certainly enjoyed himself & gave Bella one nice night in a life of misery... But will Bella convince Edward to change her into the most horrific of killers or will Edward do what his conscience is telling him to do & remove her evil from this world?
Domysticated chapter 1 . 12/20/2011
Wow. So intense! Will you continue this? Alerting just in case...
luvrofink chapter 1 . 12/18/2011
this certainly was vividly graphic and disturbing. good luck in the contest.
Alby Mangroves chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
Wonderfully dark, you didn't shy away from the gross aspect, that's for sure, but I didn't feel it to be gratuitous or overwhelming either. "Porcine" is one of my favorite words and you've used it to great effect to complete my mental image of Dr. Newton.

Such an interesting ending, I'm undecided on whether I'd like to read more of this. I think that the foreboding is strong, and it works really well just like this, as a oneshot, no matter the fascination I have with actually reading more about them.

Your description of her eyes locked onto Edward's throughout her episode with Newton was fantastic. Isabella becoming Bella once more was chilling, as was the nod to canon at the end. I can't help but wonder at what she'd be capable of as an invincible vampire. One to rival the madness and evil of any nomad, Volturi or Romanian, I'd wager.

Additional kudos for not attempting to give reasons for her madness. I think this is stronger for it. We can just accept, rather than debunk or disbelieve. She simply is what she is.

Really well done- best of luck in the contest.
mommymac0508 chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
I loved it dark and mind blowing thank you
mostly a lurker chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
Wow, I really liked this. Very dark. And nice switch-up from canon, having Bella in the mental institution instead of Alice. Nice foreboding at the end to curb any desire he might have to change her. Thanks for writing and sharing, best of luck in the contest,

amandac3 chapter 1 . 12/1/2011
This was CRAZY! I loved how Bella was both sane and insane at the same time, very fascinating! Blech at Dr. Newton, gross! And mmmm, mmmm, good at Vampward. This was a fab oneshot but seeing more between these two would be great too! Thanks for sharing and best of luck!
Lux123 chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
Haii! Where do I begin?

First off, this was extremely well written. I always appreciate that.

Secondly, this was all trippy-gritty-dark.

And woah, the ending! - This was not w/o the element of surprise! ::applause::
Jazz2305 chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
BRILLIANT story! Really really hope you extend this into a full story once the competition is over
Jessypt chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
Wow! This was so dark and dirty... Mental health is so fascinating to me, and I love how you worked in her very lucid thoughts and showed how she was clearly aware her actions, however sick they may be.

And how funny that we both chose cutting!

Jess xoxo
miaokuancha chapter 1 . 11/16/2011
omg, he changed her. from his venom and the microtears left by the other.

that was intense. i personally vote for leaving it as a one-shot.

i suggest that you give it a category label. perhaps horror/tragedy.
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