maybe i missed it but how did you get 3 water pokemon (aka shiny magikcarp feebas and poliwag

first of :} i love this story and i hope u get to read my comments maybe u can PM if you do and secondly misty obviously would have been afraid to go near the scyther with her fear of bug types and i also loved how u had the beedrill watch over ash but don't u think maybe lugia or mew would have been better sense most likely there the leges joining him

Hmmm... Prof Oak told him his limit would be raised to 10 if he won, then after it was only raised to 8, but counting Pikachu on his shoulder, he had 9 Pokémon on him. Curious.

Nice to see at lease a hint of lime without the morals police throwing a fit.

I thought his 3rd badge was from It. Surge in Vermillion City. He still hasn't gotten his badge from Sabrina either, but he's on his way to Celedon already?

I do look forward to more uncomfortable situations between the new couple.

With CrybabiesUntied being dissolved, do you plan on adding the lemon back to the fic?

Hmm... Pokemon centers provide free room and food for registered trainers. No need for Ash or Misty to pay.

Only other critique, Force Palm wasn't one of Riolu's listed moves. When did he learn it?

I'm not even going to keep on reading since this story is incomplete with no sex scenes a boring censor story

good thing all my stories will be in web sites that allows major sex scenes and no stupid anti sex crap like this shithole site

stupid criticunited stupid anti sex scenes and supporter of PG crap

idiots who support anti sex scenes and only wants bullshit PG crap here

you should post it at archive of our own a place 10 times better then this crap where were not allow hardcore sex scenes

you should post this story where their is no stupid take downs or stupid warnings

very fine story
also please add the lemons back

You seriously need to have someone proofread this chapter to clean up the grammar and punctuatuion probelms. I'm willing to ignore errors if they're small and/or infrequent, but this chapter is full of a variety of large and very obvious errors. Your use of commas in particular was nigh-horrifying to me since I'm a comma nut, so this chapter made me cringe on a regular basis with all misused commas.

There are other technical and stylistic problems, and a variety of suggestions I could make, but for now just improvin your grammar and use of punctuation is the most inportant thing. To that end I suggest you find and study some online guides; they're easy to find and very useful.

I don't know if you've improved since you first posted this, but if you have then you should seriously consider rewriting this chapter. If you do, you'll probably want to start from scratch. As it stands, this chapter probably turns away a lot of readers.

There were some erros with the grammar but meh, It's Rhydon and how Sabrina Alakazam got defeated by a Shadow Ball? THE SIXTH NO LESS :c, i'm not flaming the story, it just surprised me...