quite_the_story

Awesome work

Ugh! The arceus here should really just die! It keeps giving and giving it's annoying! If he wants to strengthen the chosen shit so much then give him every single lvl 100 pokemon, all items and maybe turn ash into a super saiyan too! Cause every single thing he owns right now is almost from the fucking pokemon god! Why the fuck won't he just go and give everything to ash on a single go and let the story end. Or let him possess ash and became the Pokemon world jesus (Ashceus) and perform a miracle and all those bullshit! Cause clearly arceus favor him too much all he does will gradually turn into those things said above!

you think you can block me hell no way not post in AO3 at least there we have every right to post lemon scenes without those assholes reporting it

tthis is a very good story i hope you continue to make the other adventures os Ash Ketchum throigh Hoeen Sinhho and Unova

It seems like you forgot about the Vermillion city gym? The electric type one with Lt. Surge

The first chapter is so incredibly cheesy!
On a side note how on earth would a fighting Pokemon communicate with Ash? Even assuming you are alluding to him having the aura ability thing it has nothing to do with communicating with Pokemon so it makes no sense whatsoever and if you are talking about latent psychic potential then Riolu is not a psychic (I checked) so he wouldn't say "I feel you have a similar power" .

Just a minor error at the end where you were writing out the Pokémon that Ash has. It's spelled dr*a*tini, not dr*i*tini. Other than that, the main thing you can work on is your diction (word choice) and your grammar. I'd recommend focussing on your diction though, and getting a little more variety in your vocabulary.

yay! sabrina and cynthia are the only pairings I actually like (that I have read. I am sure their are others I have not) as I find ash's female traveling companions annoying most of the time.

Ignore Critics United. They're a bunch of bullies. If you're worried, just post to AO3 and fanfiction.

You got the right one to evolves into scizor with the metal coatin and out of the game so good job to you for it good luck to you

I just wanted to clarify, looking back I may have sounded a bit rude. I apologize for that. I didn’t mean for it to come off that way, I was just trying to point out some of the discrepancies in the story.

Well, the story was ... mediocre. The writing wasn’t good by any means and the dialogue was off, not to mention some inconsistencies (like with the fact was told he was the chosen one multiple times, and how the increased number of balls he can carry went from 10 to 8). However, the overall story is interesting, I’ll give you that. I’ll read the continuations of this story soon and leave another review when I’m done. Advice for the lemons though, if you still have them you can try posting them on another platform and leave us links to get there. I know a few stories which have done that.