|Reviews for Dealbreaker|
| Hannah chapter 1 . 7/7
(Devil emoji x 100000000000000000)
How DARE you ever call this pwp when this gorgeously written fic has better, more in character, and vivid emotions than most fanfic writers (myself definitely included) can DREAM about putting in their stories?
I mean, seriously, sexy, funny, sweet, in character, emotional, AMAZING, HOW DARE YOU.
You're too insanely talented and it isn't fair and I demand that you put that talent to good use by writing ten thousand more stories.
| Born in 20th Century chapter 1 . 2/20/2015
thanks for sharing this, haven't watched ncis before but still enjoyed it.
| AJ and Sebastian Goin chapter 1 . 8/11/2014
So I only recently starting watching LA and this is actually the first fic I've read for the show. All I can say is WOW. I started reading this on my lunch at work and had to stop because if I didn't I would have needed a cold shower before I clocked back in. Steamy and sexy and very true to character. Bravo!
| tripwatcher2 chapter 1 . 12/22/2013
Oh. My. God. Wow, loved this one! They are such a great couple with so much heat between them on the show and you captured that so well!
| EmmyLou74 chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
That was hot!
| ANGELFISH chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
“He snickers, but doesn't say anything else, instead choosing to indulge in his own desire for a moment by taking her *…* mouth in a sultry kiss.” No need to comment this. ;)
“Her lips meet his eagerly, hungrily, and one hand briefly alights at his cheek before drifting into his messy hair. She tugs gently and he growls quietly against her lips, and damn if it isn't about the sexiest sound she's ever heard. She utterly melts beneath him, her entire being so completely overtaken by this storm of sensation that for a moment (or several, she's not quite sure) Kensi's totally lost in this intoxicating haze of lust and need and even emotion.” Oooh, she thinks that his grow is the sexiest sound ever? And she’s pulling at his hair, greedy Kiki! The sword will be the sexiest sight she’s ever seen!
"I - I said you could stay until it was safe to go back to – to your place." Because it’s clearly not safe to stay here when she’s sexually assaulting him.
HOT. “On the contrast, Deeks' words come as easily and as silkily as ever. "But you don't want me to go," he whispers, and if the reaction he gets as he pushes into her heat is any indication, he is absolutely, completely, one million percent correct. She squeezes her eyes shut, her teeth digging into her lower lip as she tries – and fails – to suppress a low moan. Her entire body quivers and her nails dig into his shoulders – they'll leave a mark, Deeks is sure, but that's a small price to pay for this moment, for the knowledge that he's the one who's got Kensi Blye beneath him, clinging to him, urging him to move with deliberate shifts of her hips against his. And God, but she feels incredible around him and really, it's a miracle that his own inner battle for control isn't written all upon his face because it's a fight for him right now. It's a fight and he's damn near losing it because she's like fire around him, liquid fire.
He buries his face in the crook of her neck, breathing out a low curse and her name, right to her ear. She shivers beneath him, her palms flitting restlessly from his shoulders down to his hips, whimpering when even that isn't enough to make him move just yet. She's on fire for him, suddenly there's nothing that she can think of that feels better than having him deep inside of her, the electricity crackling between their heated bodies. She can't help the moan that tumbles from her lips as he begins to slowly move, making sure she feels every last little bit of that delicious friction between them. "God, Deeks."”
You just know that THIS is the sexiest thing he’s ever heard, that little moan of his name. And I bet he’ll tease her tomorrow for calling him God! Like, “you can call me Marty, sweetheart.” ;)
“It takes him a moment of squeezing his eyes shut and imagining anything but the beautiful, sexy woman underneath him breathing hard and gripping him as if he's her lifeline and rocking her hips impatiently with his, forced into the slow, gentle pace he imposes upon them for the moment.” And who is he thinking about, then? Hetty in the shower?
“It's clear to both of them at this point that he's the one leading this dance. He's the one leading it, but for once, Kensi can't even begin to care. Not when his kisses are leaving her breathless and wanting more, not when the taste of him is nothing short of addictive, not when the scratch of his scruff tickles her skin as he kisses her desperately over and over again.” I AM THE RING LEADER I CALL A SHOT OKAY SORRY (NOT SORRY). But Kiki likes it when her Marty takes charge!
“And there's still part of her that simply cannot believe that this is Marty Deeks, the same partner who infuriates her, who annoys her, who drives her up the wall on an hourly basis. It's that same partner whose body is so intimately tangled with hers, whose mouth is claiming hers in hungry kisses; that same partner buried deep inside of her, setting her aflame with desire; the same partner she'll have to work with tomorrow and the next day and the next and pretend that she's not remembering just how exquisite he feels inside her every time she looks at him.” SHUT THE FUCK UP KENSI. You want Marty Deeks. You love Marty Deeks. So stop pretending that you can’t believe this is happening because you’ve been fantasizing about this for months and I know you’re the one who jumped on him first, you greedy insatiable little tiger. And oh oh, how she has him right where she wants him!
“It's almost inconceivable to her, all of that. It overwhelms her. "This – this is so wrong," she mutters with absolutely no idea of who she hopes to convince because she's sure as hell not believing it – this feels too damn good to be anywhere near wrong.” STFU. Again. You’re fooling no one. And I just love what follows!
“He bites playfully at her lower lip, feeling her stiffen beneath him. "You – you want to stop?" he breathes with a smirk, punctuating his words with a quick, deep thrust that has her whimpering – honest to God whimpering. Feeling suddenly quite devilish, Deeks goes in for another kiss, but hovers just out of reach as he toys with her. "Because we can stop. We can absolutely stop…"
Kensi thinks she might kill him if he does. "Deeks…"
Her frustrated growl doesn't even faze him. Slowing the pace, he rolls his hips against hers a few times, ducking his head and pressing his lips to her jaw. "Like you said, it's after midnight," he agrees, smirking. "My place'll be plenty aired out by now, yeah?" He pauses, thrusts hard just once, just enough to draw a moan from her parted lips before he settles back into the much slower pace. "Plus, early morning tomorrow – you probably want to get to bed early, hmm?"
"Shut up," she groans. He's infuriating; he really, truly is and right now, all she wants is for her infuriating partner to drive her over the edge, the one he's deliberately holding her back from.
He snickers. "You're the one who said it, not me," he persists, knowing he's pushing her buttons and loving every last second of it. She'll likely kill him for this, but Deeks smirks anyway and ducks his head further, nipping at her earlobe. "Of course, you could clear up the confusion," he breathes, his breath hot against her skin – he's delighted when that, combined with a deliberately slow roll of his hips draws a shaky whimper from her lips. "You could tell me you don't want me to stop…"
"I will not-"
He cuts her off effortlessly with a deep thrust; she moans, shuddering beneath him – he knows exactly how close she is to that perilous peak. "Tell me," he insists.
"Damn it, Deeks."
She says that enough that it sure doesn't faze him now. "Kensi." He persists, his voice silky, almost maddeningly seductive and Kensi can't even begin to explain the effect that has upon her. Pressing a teasing kiss to the corner of her lips, he slowly allows his hands to play, his practiced, careful touch dancing over her body in all the right places to make her gasp, with just the right amount of pressure to make her lithe body quiver. "Tell me."
It's the combination of his voice with his touch and the molten desire in her belly that finally has her relenting…but she certainly doesn't do it in a way that sounds even remotely like begging because she's not that far gone. "I swear to God, Deeks, if you do stop I will kill you."”
I SWEAR TO GOD DEEKS IF YOU DO STOP I WILL SHEATHE THAT SWORD MYSELF. Basically what she said.
“Hours before, Deeks would have sworn there was no sight sexier than Kensi in that little bikini of hers, but now as one, then two, then a third deep thrust sends her tumbling over the edge, he realizes just how incredibly wrong he'd been because there is nothing, nothing sexier than the sight of Kensi Blye coming completely apart beneath him, grasping and clutching at him as every last fiber of her control shatters into a million tiny technicolor pieces.” But bikini-clad Kensi doesn’t live up to Deeks in anything – or nothing, actually.
And this is what I love the most about this: the sweetness. Because it’s part of them. Just like the banter and the heat. And this is Deeks. He can tease her one moment, make her beg for him to bring her to the edge, and then snuggle to her and kiss her tenderly and ask if she’s okay. And you’re one of the rare few who can do this, do them justice as he does her. ;) I HAD TO OKAY?
“Pushing himself up on still shaky arms, he lifts himself away from her only to collapse at her side, one arm draped over her naked body. For a second, they simply breathe, allowing their bodies to cool a bit more, but as the silence draws on, Kensi's sure she should probably say something. But just as she finds her voice, he surprises her by pressing his lips tenderly to her temple. "You okay?" he whispers, finally garnering enough strength to prop his head up with his arm as he lays on his side next to her.”
AND SHE IS HAPPY ! “"Yeah…" she nods slowly, her body still tingling in the aftermath. Her lips quirk upward just briefly – she tries to stop it completely, but the inherent happiness of afterglow is stronger.”
“And just like that, as the heat flares in her cheeks at his words, they're back to them – maybe, she thinks errantly, that all of this, in the end, is them. She feels the spark; she's felt the burn of the fire between them – maybe this was just inevitable. Maybe there was no way to stop it. Maybe…just maybe, she'd even let it happen again…” NOT MAYBE. DEFINITELY. This should have been the summary!
Fern ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
And I still love this definition of laundry! That should be their code name. “I can’t go out tonight, I have laundry to do.” ;)
| JELLYFISH chapter 1 . 8/30/2013
First of all, I think that you should redeem yourself for being mean and depriving Kensi of the opportunity to meet Marty’s Magical Mouth by writing more things like this! Gimme the boat!
“Burger and a beer; that was the deal.” And great sex in the car, don’t forget about that. That’s the only reason why she wanted him to drive. Because she knew her legs would be all jelly after. Anyway.
“It's a favor she's doing him, she'd reasoned. No reason she shouldn't get something out of it too.” Uh, Kens? You call Deeks giving you the best night of your life a favor for you being nice and letting him stay with you? That’s kind of called prostitution! You’re just using his body! Greedy Kiki. But who could blame her?
“She knows he manages to find her every loophole – STOP RIGHT THERE I AM HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS - but Kensi knows for absolute certain that nowhere in that deal was there any mention of the velvety caress of his lips on her throat, fluttering over her racing pulse and drawing quiet, breathy moans from her own parted lips.
Her memory is nothing but a blur, a convoluted mix of their usual back-and-forth, the playful flirtation that always seems to find its way between them, and whatever fateful sequence of events had managed to lead them to this point – Kensi doesn't really know how they got here. One moment it was that same sexually-charged teasing (he'd been ribbing her about something or another…or maybe she'd been the one ribbing him…God, she has no idea) and then the next moment his mouth was on hers and though she can't be sure, she thinks (oh dear God, he'll never let her live it down if she's right) that maybe she was the one who kissed him first.”
I’m betting my own life that she’s the one who kissed him first! How could you resist that man? She literally attacked him and he will remind her of that for the rest of her life, hehe! ;)
I think that this is one of my favorite paragraph, this definition of what’s laundry and what it isn’t and yet… ;)
“Her mind's pretty far gone by now, but she's pretty sure the definition of laundry does not, in fact, include the sensual, fiery caress of his fingers over flushed skin as he pushes her plaid button-down away, letting it fall carelessly to the floor below. She's also pretty sure laundry doesn't involve the slow, calculated way he undoes the button and zipper of her jeans, the utter seduction in the way his mouth dances over her taut belly as his strong, masculine hands push her jeans down her long legs. And even if that was, somehow, included in the definition in even the most obscure of languages, Kensi's absolutely certain that doing her laundry doesn't include making sure her palms skate over every muscle of his toned chest as she pulls his shirt from his body; it doesn't include making sure his jeans find themselves lost in the dark somewhere with hers.
And more importantly, when she'd specified outerwear only, Kensi knows the purpose of that was to keep him away from any of the fabric hidden underneath.” LIAR LIAR PANTIES ON FIRE…FOR REAL
“But then again, Deeks always manages to twist her words around until they mean what he wants them to mean. Every single time.” Bahaha, because what he wants isn’t what she wants maybe? LIES! BIG FAT 21 MONTHS PREGNANT KENSI LIES!
FINGERS! Haha, you know I had to! Since someone kept you from letting him use his magical mouth! Damn her! (Yes, I am looking at you, She Who Won’t Be Named But Who Is Actually Named Shawn) : “Before she can even catch her breath, those boldly questing fingers slip their way beneath the fabric she'd sworn he was never, ever going to see, (LIES, SHE’S WANTED THAT FOR A YEAR) and as she feels the molten desire pooling deep in her belly, she can't stop the way her body quivers and arches against his touch, seeking out more of him.
Deeks smirks at her reaction, nuzzling against the hollow of her throat. "I'd say somebody's enjoying herself," he teases.” GOD YES
QUOTING OF DA AWSUMLY SEXY WHILE I BLUSH AND COUGH BECAUSE OF HOTNESS. Don’t ever say again that you can’t write sexy times because I’ll iron your fingers! Not Marty’s for obvious reasons.
“She's not quite sure what causes her cheeks to tint – the cockiness in his voice, the shocks of pleasure that flood her body as he experiments, or maybe just the realization that this is her partner, they've been partners for over a year now and this, this is actually happening. His body pressed against hers, quiet moans and sighs resonating in the quiet, lips kissing and exploring, one of his hands tucked snugly between her thighs and the fingers of the other tugging expertly at the clasp of her bra. Neither it nor Kensi offers him any resistance and within seconds it too is discarded and forgotten and Deeks is absolutely devouring her with his eyes and it's the one time tonight that she seems to have the upper hand on him, though when she speaks her voice is still no more than a breathy whisper. "First – first time you've ever seen any?" she quips, his unabashed gawking leaving her feeling slightly exposed.
He smirks, but for once has the good grace not to answer verbally. Instead he simply drops his lips to her shoulder and takes his time kissing his way in toward her pounding heart, just barely brushing the swell of a breast with his scruff. Kensi shivers but he just grins, avoiding coming any closer despite her protests.
Instead, he merely lingers, breathing in her intoxicating scent, listening to the shakiness of her every breath, hearing the soft whimpers as he continues to tease her below. Just teasing, only teasing, just enough to stoke the flame building within her, but nowhere near enough to offer any relief. He thinks he might tease her all night if he could, just because there's no bigger boost to his ego than knowing that he's got Kensi Blye squirming and making these ridiculously sexy little noises beneath him, but number one, he knows Kensi's a damn good shot, and two, his own heartbeat is almost deafening in his ears and he knows from the fire of his own arousal that he himself can't take much more of the teasing.”
I love love love the part where he says that she’s gorgeous and she thinks that it should scare her because he means it, and he doesn’t just say it to get into her panties; he’s in admiration of her and he doesn’t try to hide it, and I love that she’s not quite comfortable with that. Because admitting that he may not just want to sleep with her scares her. Hence why she tries to bring it back to physical and kiss him to make him shut up. But hey, heads-up, Kens: not gonna work. That man’s in love. And so are you.
And I love that you still manage to write their banter so spot-on in the middle of the sexiness. Because that’s them – even in bed (or anywhere else), they wouldn’t be them without the banter and the need to one-up the other all the time. It’s a fight about who can make the other tremble first; it’s a joke, a cocky sentence…that’s them. At work, outside work. As friends, as lovers. I can’t see them without that and I love that you did that there. Make them banter even when he has his hand between her legs and she can’t help but moan and shiver.
“"Looks like you missed me real bad while you were in Hawaii…"
(…) "Cocky mouth like that, it's a miracle you even manage to get a woman anywhere near your bed."
Deeks grins – that's one she walks right into and she's too busy thinking she's got him to realize it. He lifts his head, flicking his tongue suggestively against her jaw. "You give me just a few minutes and you'll see exactly what brings them to my bed," he smirks. "You'll see what keeps them coming back for more…"
He presses his fingers against her deliberately then and she squirms, desperate for more friction, more contact. He's teasing her like this on purpose and it's clear that he's loving every last second of driving her out of her mind. She tries hard, perhaps harder than anything she's ever tried to do before; the last thing she's going to do is give in without a fight. "That – that's a hell of a lot of talk to back up there, Deeks," she retorts, faltering as his tongue flutters again against her skin.
He smirks, his fingers working such magic against sensitive flesh that she can't even summon the slightest annoyance at his playful nickname for her. "Oh, I'm gonna back up every single word of it, Princess," he breathes. "Every single word."
(…) "Still some pretty cocky promises for someone who – who's not even sure he's going to get to the main event."
He smirks, his lips teasing her skin as he kisses his way back to her ear. "Mm, main event, huh? You mean the part where I make you scream?"’ THAT IS PERFECT. Him calling her Princess and this last line are just perfect. :D I love this definition of main event! And she can deny it all she wants, he *will* make her scream all night long.
“ She can't bring herself to feel embarrassed of it though – then again, she's far beyond feeling that of anything now, she thinks as it hits her then that she's having this conversation (if it could be called that) with her partner, that this is her partner whose heated skin is sliding deliciously against hers as they cross every single line between them multiple times over; her partner, who's making the desire burn deep in her belly, radiating out over every inch of her and oh God they shouldn't be doing this. They shouldn't.
She doesn't think she has the ability to stop him, though, even if his overly cocky proclamation fills her with a bit of indignance. "Make me scream, yeah ri-" Her breath catches and she can't even finish as he slips two fingers inside of her and even though her eyes are squeezed shut, she knows he's got the most maddening smirk on his lips but she can't bring herself to care because damn, the slow, teasing rhythm he adopts immediately has her shivering and whispering his name. "Deeks…"”
;) This is too hot for words!
| miss-tarletone chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
This was very well written! I liked the amount of emotion you put into it and I appreciate that it wasn't too graphic.
| ImpactedJudgment chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
Geez, I haven't given a review in a long time. I don't know what's wrong with my KD bone. It's broken I think...
Lol, I think Deeks just thought that as long as he was doing Kensi's laundry, he might as well do it all. That, of course, includes what was on her. And well I think that as long as he's gonna do something, he might as well have fun doing it. Right? :D
Do people actually talk during sex? Have you proof of this? Haha, maybe some do...or are able. In any case, it makes for the whole reading being much more fun. :P
I know Deeks was in my dreams last night! What he was doing I won't say lol. Maybe it was something similar to this...maybe not. It's a mystery hahaha!
Loved this more than the two previous times I read it...but not more than SM6. Kinda tied with ch. 5 of the Christmas fic... Lol what I mean is it's definitely a favorite! :D
| ZBBZL chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
"I swear to God, Deeks, if you do stop I will kill you."
Oh, how we so understand her for that...
First, I have to say that if they can never be boring, my laundry surely is compared to them !
(and Kensi has to be hypocritical if she dares say teasing him with having to do her laundry wasn't, like, asking him to take her against the wall)
I loved again how he has to make her say/reassure/boost his ego & confidence! Because we just know it's not only about his performance, but about them and what it'll do to them (good, oh, much good whenever Deeks is involved!)
But mostly, I think I'll have to say the same thing whenever I read one of your stories; it's just plain amazing how you do what you do. I can't name it nor explain it; you just do to me or anyone, I think, what you do. Girl of mystery much, huh ?
(crazy person, right ?)
| callmesandy chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
I really enjoyed this!
| maddiepattie chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
Well that was...fun? awesome? great? your pick.
| NCISrockergirl chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
you should really add another chapter...
| Rhodanos chapter 1 . 3/10/2012
Uh.. I have nothing intelligent to say after this :D
| Harm Marie chapter 1 . 1/13/2012