|Reviews for Sisterhood|
| no cure for crazy chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
This is a really good start(: And I'm really interested to start reading the next chapters. I like how you're writing them and their family relationships. I can see them acting exactly like this while in school.(:
| yellow 14 chapter 22 . 9/16/2012
Congrats on your marriage. Andromeda's sadness was brilliant and Bella's panic even better. Keep updating
| TheTwoDL chapter 22 . 9/14/2012
The following is a prize review for winning the Masterchef competition.
Yay! An update! I've been following this story since forever and living it all the way :D
I really liked the Fred-George and Andromeda scene. Fred and George are really IC. The only thing is I don't think that Remus would call Andromeda 'Andy'. Otherwise it was a really great story and please keep updating :)
| autumn midnights chapter 22 . 9/13/2012
Good chapter! I like that you had Andromeda do something to help the Order of the Phoenix, and I think her assisting with Potterwatch makes a lot of sense; the twins are right, more people would talk to someone like Andy then a Weasley. I love her code name of 'Red', as well; it definitely sounds right, and it could almost be canon. Andromeda's reaction to Ted dying was very realistic, I can imagine her reacting in that way, and you definitely show her emotions very well. The thoughts and emotions of Narcissa were very good as well, and I can picture her thinking those things. The last section fit very smoothly with canon, and I think Bellatrix's POV of it was very well-written; she was very in-character. I don't think I've ever read Bella's POV of the Malfoy Manor chapter, so that was interesting to read. Great chapter, looking forward to the next!
| slightlysmall chapter 2 . 7/26/2012
In this chapter, especially more than your recent one-shots, I can tell that English is your second language. Some notes to that effect:
"History of Magic is obliged" I think required is a better word than obliged here.
"I must go and hurry!" Doesn't work for me either. "I must go" or "I must hurry" but both together is uncommon, if said at all.
"She knew at least two of them we're halfbloods and even thought Melissa were a Muggle" should probably read "She knew at least two of them were Half-Bloods and even thought Melissa was a Muggle-born/Mudblood."
"to get on Geraldines nerves." should be "Geraldine's nerves."
"As soon as she entered the greenhouse she went to professor Sprout" I think Professor should be capitalized.
"Bowtruckles eeh?" should probably just be "eh".
"Welcome in year four students" sounds awkward to me. "Welcome, fourth-year students" seems more natural.
"According to Professor Sprout, it was a useful plant though" would make more sense as "But according to Professor Sprout, it was a useful plant..."
"We wouldn't want Miss Black to denote her talents, would we?" Your use of "denote" here doesn't make sense to me.
"And the others team let girls play too!" Should be "And the other teams let girls play, too!"
"and felt a little more satisfied when it explodes into tiny pieces" should be "exploded..."
General comment: Andy and Cissy's sections in this chapter seem unnecessary. To me, this chapter is about: Zachary/Geraldine- especially with Bella sitting by him in Alchemy; the Quidditch tryouts; and the mysterious man at the end (Please tell me that was Tom!). Besides the general idea of following all three of them, nothing important seemed to happen to Andy or Cissy. Now, if you contradict this in later chapters, and the plants that Andy learned about, or flying for Cissy, end up being important story points, then well done! If not... I don't see the point of them being involved here. Bella seems to be your main character.
Anyway, you still do a great job of switching POV. I'm always sure who's thinking what, and the transitions are easy to follow, which is hard to get right. The part at the end, especially, has me interested to keep going, but I'm still wary about what sort of plot this ends up taking. Will there be some sort of central conflict developing that affects all three of them? I'm interested to find out. :)
| slightlysmall chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
You do a great job with the personalities here, and though it always jars me to read about these three pre-Azkaban, I like your take on their family life. I was surprised not to see Lucius in this chapter, but I guess it makes sense, and Narcissa being a bit of a hatstall is believable as well, with how she turns out.
There are a few SPaG issues in here, but I know this is the first FanFic thing you posted and as part of NaNoWriMo, so with that in mind it's great. The one issue that stands out to me now is Cissy thinking "manned up." While you use the term accurately, I can't imagine a Black saying or even thinking it. Oh well. When I have time, I may poke through more chapters. They are fascinating characters, to be sure. :)
| CurrerBell1847 chapter 20 . 7/19/2012
so good! I'm glad Cissy knows what Bella sacrificed for her and I hope Andromeda will know soon too!
| autumn midnights chapter 21 . 7/2/2012
And here I am, at the last chapter! I will be alerting this, though, and following it through to the end, since it only seems fair to do.
Anyway, onto the real review. This was really good, as always. I've never read anybody else's perspective of what happened on the night of the seven Potters, but I really like how you did it here. Andromeda and Ted's worry over their daughter definitely showed through. You were also able to integrate canon moments very nicely into this, without making it seem too much like you just copied from the book. The Narcissa/Lucius and Andromeda/Ted scenes were very sweet and romantic, also, and you've done a great job showing both of their relationships. The Andromeda/Ted one was sad, too, because that is the last time they'll see one another. Poor Andromeda, she ends up losing so much... Great job on this chapter, and I'm definitely looking forward to the next ones as well.
| autumn midnights chapter 20 . 7/2/2012
Another good chapter! Wow, this story's moving along quite well. A lot of important things happened here, and I think you covered them all very well. I like how Andromeda reacted to Tonks and Remus; I agree with your portrayal of her, that she'd have not been thrilled by it at first but finally accepted it because she didn't want to be like her own mother. I don't mind that you used Movie!canon and had Bellatrix at the Astronomy Tower; I've always wondered myself why in the book, she knew about it but she wasn't there, and that was one of the few things that I think the movie actually did better than the book. So I'm glad you did it that way, then. Interesting that Narcissa asks Bella not to get involved with Andromeda's death - I can picture her asking that, especially with your portrayal of her here. Great job on this!
| autumn midnights chapter 19 . 7/2/2012
This was also good! I like that Bellatrix showed Narcissa all of those memories, and it really did show how Bella gradually became Darker and more into the Death Eaters as the time passed. It was a shorter chapter, yes, but I can see why you did it; this section definitely does feel like it needs to be on its own. I like the mention of Bellatrix training Draco in Occlumency, also, since we know that happened over the summer. I know Narcissa gets good at Occlumency, too (since she lies to Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest in DH) so I'm interested to see if that'll be mentioned in upcoming chapters. As always, you've done a very nice job portraying the sisters and the relationship between them, and of course, great job!
| autumn midnights chapter 18 . 7/2/2012
Good chapter! I've never thought about exactly what happened after the Ministry fiasco, but your version of events makes sense. I can picture Bellatrix getting tortured by Voldemort, and I can also imagine the Aurors going through the Malfoys' home to check for any Dark artifacts and evidence and things like that. I also like your version of when Voldemort gave Draco the task to kill Dumbledore; I can picture Draco being honored and almost a little excited to be given a task - the scene on the train in HBP proves that - at least, at first. Narcissa's reaction is also extremely canon-compliant, having read the Spinner's End chapter, and I like your portrayal of that as well. Great job!
| autumn midnights chapter 17 . 6/27/2012
Another really good chapter! I like how you showed what happened in OotP behind the scenes, like Draco becoming part of the Inquisitorial Squad and Tonks being exhausted from guarding the prophecy. Andromeda being a Healer is very interesting, as I've mentioned, because I've never read that before. It does make sense, though, as she'd need to do something - it's not like she'd have access to the Black vaults, after all. Bellatrix's point of view of the Ministry battle was interesting as well, I think you did a pretty good job with that. I loved the line in Narcissa's part "She was beginning to fear for her safety - as well as her furniture" or whatever the wording was on that. That made me laugh. Great job on this chapter as well, and I'm looking forward to seeing what's coming next.
| autumn midnights chapter 16 . 6/24/2012
A really good chapter! I liked seeing all the reactions to Voldemort's return, and I think you portrayed them well - the way Narcissa and Lucius sort of go along with it, in a way, the way Bellatrix is so excited, the way Andy and Ted are worried, and how Sirius is extremely pissed off. Very in-character reactions from all of them. I noticed you wrote Grabbe instead of Crabbe, but that's not a big deal and overall, the chapter was very well-written. I like Bellatrix's return to Malfoy Manor and how she struts in acting like she owns the place with her feet up on the table and everything. I never thought of Narcissa and Lucius being in bed together when Voldemort officially returned, nice touch right there. Another great chapter, keep up the good work!
| autumn midnights chapter 15 . 6/22/2012
This was really good! Wow, the time's just flying by...makes sense, though, since not a whole lot happens during this time, what with Bella in Azkaban and all. I like the parts with Tonks, both as an eleven-year-old and as a new Auror trainee, as she's one of my favorite characters and I think you've definitely done her justice. You did a very good job at showing the awkward strain between Narcissa and Andromeda, also, good job with that. I can imagine Andromeda and Ted not telling Tonks about Bellatrix until she's older, like you did here. One little thing - it's Alastor Moody, not Alistair, but that's not a huge deal, just something to be careful for. Overall, I really liked this chapter, another great job!
| autumn midnights chapter 14 . 6/21/2012
This was really good! I think you've done a nice job showing the sisters as adults, also, and I like how you've shown the difference between them - Bellatrix as a Death Eater, Andromeda as an Order member, and Narcissa sort of in the middle. I can imagine Ted's parents being killed by Death Eaters, also, and I bet it was by Bellatrix, or at least thought up by her, to get revenge on Andy and Ted. I can picture that Narcissa was having trouble getting pregnant also, my idea of that is very similar to yours. I can also imagine Andromeda and Ted arguing over Bellatrix's imprisonment, since they are still sisters even if they don't communicate anymore. It's moving along very nicely, and you're doing a really nice job on this fic. Keep up the good work!