Hoping you continue this. You have a fine knack for plot twists. What's Krystal mean about not being the last Cerinian, though?

The plot moves forward well, although Fox being arbitrarily (and retroactively) prescient honestly trips it up. It would make more sense if you made it new and gave it a cause. Exposure to supernatural energy would be ideal. Even a delayed effect from the Krazoa spirits, maybe coupled somehow with Krystal's powers would work if it were done right. That small (so far) aspect aside, things are building up well among the characters, especially Fox and Krystal. Though on that front too, Krystal feels a little too unconflicted about reading her friends' minds uninvited.

Your writing style is good, though you may want to enlist a proofreader. You use "defiant" instead of "definite" a lot, for example.

I hope my feedback isn't coming through too harshly. Merely trying to offer helpful advice to a fellow writer with ample potential. On a related note, sorry about the lemon comment before. Wrong story.

Off to a good start. You write good set descriptions and the plot setup is tense. I'm curious to see where this goes.

Having an aquarium is a nice touch, though it seems out of character for Krystal to have insisted rather than asked or even pleaded. From what I saw in the games she never seemed like the type to throw her weight around.

On a side note, it's your story of course but for whatever it's worth I hope you don't go into lemon territory. I'm a Christian, and if things go too far that way I'll have to stop reading on principle (and I really don't want to stop reading this).

I must say that I like your style of writing, it adds suspense to the story. post chapter five soon, you've left me on the edge of my seat!

Mitch

Not bad.

Must admit, I had to re-read the whole thing to remember the story, it had been so long. but it was worth it. (And thankfully it's only 4 chapters in.)

One thing that confused me was when Krystal realized the wasn't "the last of the Cernians", because I dont think that was ever actually implied. though that may be one of the things your going to explain later, and if it is I look forward to it.

You had a few run-on's and words that I presume were meant to be other words. Nothing that makes the story unreadable, but you should try to be aware of that. But like I said, nothing that makes it unreadable.

Anyway, good chapter and interesting story. It's really elevating now, so do try to make it less time before your next update, because I can't wait for more.

Wow. This is excellent! I haven't read a Star Fox fic that ACTUALLY holds true to the story yet... until now! Good job, my fellow literary follower, and please... don't stop this amazing story. 3

Very interesting adding to favs

thanks for the update. keep going you got a good auditence. (not good at long spelling.)

when are you going to do another chapter?

I gotta say, i see great potential in this. Fox's "vision" is pretty interesting. i look foreward to seeing more chapters.

-Shining Soul Fox Mcloud

Keep Going you're an incredible writer.

Yes, looking forward for the next chapter. God I hope Krystal comes out alright!

Not bad, hope you can squeeze a few more out before I leave. Liking this story so far.

Quick idea, since Krystal is a telepath. It would be plausible for Krystal to look/enter another dream? And if so, influence it to what extent?

Grammar looks good. No dreaded wall of text. Still early, but shows promise. Keep up the good work.

In the old comics Vixy died because Andross used a sabotaged car. But the car was meant for James. Vixy died because she used his car that day.

Not that I have a problem with your ideas, just thought you would like to know.

Until next time. "Luck runs out, skill doesn't!"

Looks good so far, please continue.