Reviews for The day Calvin meet the Ace Of Aces
Crescent Saber chapter 2 . 11/21/2011
Well done. I like it. But you wanted a real review so here goes.

I like how you keep each part short and sweet. It works for a story like this. But I will point out that it seems a bit...stiff. The writing I mean. That's not a bad thing by the way. Some things you may want to avoid doing is putting things like "He/She said", or "Character A said" after or before each line of spoken dialog. You don't really have to do that for EVERY line. Just use context to indicate whose doing the speaking. For example if you've got Nanoha speaking to Fate, the and the scene only has those two present, then you don't need to always put "Nanoha said" or "Fate said". You can have Nanoha actually say Fate's name so it's obvious to the reader who is speaking or say something like "Fate turned to Nanoha or Fate smiled at Nanoha" then put her speaking part. You don't need to put "she said" because it's obvious whose speaking. Get what I mean? This is by no means a HUGE flaw or anything it's just a tip for the future.

But regardless I like the story. I think you're doing a good job so far. Hope you keep it up!